So hey everyone. Its been awhile I guess. Umm, things have been cool I guess. In fact, well, I didnt exactly call ms. cleo or anything, but I have a feeling starting tomorrow things will be a bit better
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OMG Steven! First of all we love each other and are waaaaay the fuck too close to sit here and argue over the net. But, I'll play along this time because it's far too late to call and say, "SHUT UP!" I mean that of course, in the nicest way too, cos I know how you feel about me and I thought you knew how I felt about you. Sure, you can be upset about stuff, but were not together. And this is why... not cos you're all clingy or something cos you're not. I really dont feel that way. But rather, because Im not ready for a relationship for many many reasons that Ive talked to you several times about. Therefor, you have no right to be acting like this. Seriously. I am really figuring stuff out about myself and just taking me time right now. Im never single! I need to be right now, thats just where Im at. It doesnt mean I dont really love you. Cos I do. Honest to God. Why cant you see that things would be worst for us if I did want a relationship knowing I wasnt ready or even willing? *sigh* And when the fuck did I say I didnt miss you for any good reasons? What reasons Steven? Tell ME. Oh, is it cos the first time we hung out again not too long ago you decided to check my arms for drug use AT the fucking restraunt in FRONT of your friend who by the way I didnt even know? That was just wrong. I thought I had been talking about how Ive been clean for what has now been two months? Do you not trust me? Or better yet, do you even know me? Cos if you did, you would just KNOW that I wouldnt shoot up. Ever! Im not that dumb. But whatever the reason is Steven, wether its trust issues you have with me or wether you dont know me... tomato, tomato babe, what you did that night was awful. It made me feel so low and just ugh! But whatever, I dont hate you for that. I still have a lot of proving to do and I understand that. Anyway, you're probably going to look at what Im about to say as me not loving you or whatever, but its the exact opposite. If you're going through all of this and hurting because of me in anyway, than we shouldnt talk anymore. Understand that this is not my intention and also that maybe you too arent ready for "us" as well. Give me a call though, we'll talk some more. I love you. Goodnight.
It's late and I'm about to go to bed. I just wanted to apologize for my behavior. I know it wasnt right doing that and I should have thought twice before I did such a thing. I just wanted to say sorry again.
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Steven
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