(no subject)
Ok so fuck. I just found out recently, that two very special people in my life both decided to drug me awhile back. I thought Joey was just trying to take care of me this one day when I was feeling like shit, but it turns out that him and my brother slipped sleeping pills or something in my milk. My own brother gave the love of my life some mystery pill that was given to him by "some girl" who said she "thinks" they might be sleeping pills. All I was told was that they were pink and they had letters and numbers on it, prolly cos thats all they knew about it. They couldve killed me or something.
Mind blowing.
Before I go cry myself to death on the bathroom floor which I most likely will, I just wanna say, "ouch."
So now I'll start thinking about my mom, don and jason, all the drug related shit, all the people who make me cry... anthony, joey, sean, desiree, porchia, evelyn, etc. etc. And not to mention my self pity that I cant shrug off. *sigh* Fuck. I hate me. As does all those people above evidently. I'll feel fine after I shed every tear in my body Im sure, but it hurts so bad right now. I have no one. Fuck. I hate myself. Depression go away. I can never have enough hobbies to occupy myself long enough to not dwell on shit. I need help. Someone give me a fucking break or something. Jesus. What next?
Mind blowing.
Before I go cry myself to death on the bathroom floor which I most likely will, I just wanna say, "ouch."
So now I'll start thinking about my mom, don and jason, all the drug related shit, all the people who make me cry... anthony, joey, sean, desiree, porchia, evelyn, etc. etc. And not to mention my self pity that I cant shrug off. *sigh* Fuck. I hate me. As does all those people above evidently. I'll feel fine after I shed every tear in my body Im sure, but it hurts so bad right now. I have no one. Fuck. I hate myself. Depression go away. I can never have enough hobbies to occupy myself long enough to not dwell on shit. I need help. Someone give me a fucking break or something. Jesus. What next?