It's been for freaking ever I think...
Hello all... I'm sitting at my apartment right now..missing a "totally cool" party right now. I love to be out with everyone and have fun... but I hate feeling like I'm not really wanted there and I'm only there becuz they were sure I would feel shitty if I heard but wasn't invited.. plus I'm not too bad to look at... lol.. So tonight I'm staying home.. plus I'm so homesick I feel like crud... I miss my mom, meagan, heather, ariana, derik, james, ed, mom and dad austin... and john... So here's the update with him... I've talked to him a few times in the past few days... mind you John doesn't like talking on the phone, he hates leaving messages.. but let me tell you something... him and i played phone tag... when i would call and miss him he called me back, and left messages... then when i called and talked to him he begged me not to go... When I talked to him i feel like a whore.. my heart belongs to him, that's a given, but so many others have touched my body... which i also want to belong to completely him... I don't know why I can't just talk my brain into going along with my heart... AHHH! I feel like I'm losing my mind. What do I do? Cuz I love him but I need comfort since he's not here! I want to just go home and crawl into bed with him... why can't I? Love hurts... but it'll be worth it.
Love yas, but please help!
Love yas, but please help!