Okay, here goes.
David and I have broken up for good. He's leaving in August to go back to California. I have no idea where I'm going (more on this in a moment). It was a mostly amiable (if that's the correct word) breakup, we're still living together for the time being, mostly for financial reasons, but it is a bit strange. It's been nearly a two months now since we made that official and there are still things that I'm not entirely okay with-namely the violation of a few rules on his part that I was expected to stick to at all times. I try not to be all high-and-mighty about that but...after four years of enforcing "the rules" with me, you are not allowed to just do whatever you please in regards to them, David. Also, there are now a few relationships that have been completly broken beyond repair through the process of discovery-things that I will be mad about for awhile, that I feel justified being mad about; and I am beginning to resent the occasional appearance of at least one person whose betrayal, while not entirely unexpected, is entirely unforgivable-because she has done it before, to at least another one of her "good friends" and I have no doubt that she will do it again-and that not only makes her a bad friend, that makes her a pretty shitty human being.
Now, I have two options as to where I am going: I'm staying here in Durango or I'm going to Boulder to move in with my brother-at least for a little while, so I can save up some money, finally apply to Northwestern like I've been talking about for the last year and get my shit together, because it is about damn time that I did so.
I feel like I've wasted the last year of my life here, because I look at everything that I had planned, last year, to have acomplished by this time this year and none of it got done. I have no one to blame but myself, but it still sucks a bunch to feel like this.
And, completely unrealted notes: David's mother is staying with us all summer again this year, which seemed like it was going to suck completely but turned out to be a pretty good thing the other day as David had a major accident at work, which led to surgery, and will be off his feet for 4-6 weeks. Since a cook can't exactly...cook...without both legs functioning, at least not in a commercial kitchen, he has no income for 4-6 weeks-other than the workman's compensation and accident insurance that will go mostly to pay for his hospital bills. Now, my opinion on this may change in the coming months, but right now I'm sort of okay having her around.
So, I have some decisions to make...but right now I have to take a shower and go apply for a couple of part-time jobs to suppliment my pittance from the Abbey.
I think I actally have more to talk about, but I have to gather my thoughts first. Maybe I'll update more often from now on.
Now, I have two options as to where I am going: I'm staying here in Durango or I'm going to Boulder to move in with my brother-at least for a little while, so I can save up some money, finally apply to Northwestern like I've been talking about for the last year and get my shit together, because it is about damn time that I did so.
I feel like I've wasted the last year of my life here, because I look at everything that I had planned, last year, to have acomplished by this time this year and none of it got done. I have no one to blame but myself, but it still sucks a bunch to feel like this.
And, completely unrealted notes: David's mother is staying with us all summer again this year, which seemed like it was going to suck completely but turned out to be a pretty good thing the other day as David had a major accident at work, which led to surgery, and will be off his feet for 4-6 weeks. Since a cook can't exactly...cook...without both legs functioning, at least not in a commercial kitchen, he has no income for 4-6 weeks-other than the workman's compensation and accident insurance that will go mostly to pay for his hospital bills. Now, my opinion on this may change in the coming months, but right now I'm sort of okay having her around.
So, I have some decisions to make...but right now I have to take a shower and go apply for a couple of part-time jobs to suppliment my pittance from the Abbey.
I think I actally have more to talk about, but I have to gather my thoughts first. Maybe I'll update more often from now on.