[without you, i'm not better off]
today is waffle day. it's also a full moon, and that perhaps is why i'm off my tree today. i'm always friggen weird when it's a full moon. i think people get scared of me when i'm like this. =P perhaps or something. i don't exactly know.
hah i think somebodys trying to tell me something, not directly to me, but through a way that they have. and it's like behind my back but not. and i think it's extraordinarily funny. it's drama that makes this world go round. ya know?
oh well. umm i have wonderfully fabulous amazing awesome news. but i can't really share it yet, because i don't really want to. but you'll find out soon enough. =D i told i think four people, but that's because they are extraordinarily important to me. and i can't very well keep anything from them. <3
Landing on London by 3 doors down featuring Bob Seger is an amazing song, and i suggust you all listen to it. - or i suggust you listen to the whole 3 doors down CD - Seventeen Days. it's excellent <3 [if you're into that type of music.]
okay..i'm umm debating weither or not i still like this one kid or not. i mean, he was wonderfully fabulous when i had him. and ya know, we just don't talk..anymore. and it saddens me, i think about him every day, and every night before i go to bed, but that's because he gave me a stuffed Elmo that i sleep with everynight. but i'm sure you've all heard about this fella that i'm talking about. and quite frankly. i don't know what to think of him/the situation he left me in. so i don't really know if i still like him/can still like him. it's a very weird concept. yeah. so i really don't know what to think. but i think i haveto find another wonderfully fabulous guy who makes me feel the way he did. or else if he'd just realize. then i wouldn't be in this situation. or perhaps i would because he just..doesn't like me, but then again, how would i know, we don't effing talk anymore!
food is weird. i like going to the Y. i love volleyball at the Y. [very random, what the fuck?!]
i'm not very confident with myself. you know. i'm really not. but dammit i should be. and i can't be. i probably could be, but i don't wana be conceited. i don't know what's worse, not being confident, or being conceited. there's kind of no in the middle. so. you're screwed either way =)
what the hell made him like me in the first place? that's what i'm wondering. then what made him break up with me, without an explination, AND to all of a sudden just STOP talking to me? i just..really don't understand? and i don't think that we'll ever talk again for that matter, and i'll never know anything of what i wanted to know. i mean obviously he had to like me in some way for us to even go out in the first place? .. and i don't know he told me he loved me..but what does love mean to him? you know? but it wasn't just for sex. he's not that type of guy, at all. no matter what, he's not. and i believe that. completely. because there's nothing holding be back from believeing it, and there's nothing pulling at me to not believe it. so, i just really don't understand any of this..it's all weird to me.
umm do i really turn out to be that bad of a person after a while? like is there some reason for people to just HATE me? i mean, i don't exactly know if he hates me, or if anybody hates me for that matter. but i don't know..am i THAT bad people? comeon. i want some input. all you people that read this and don't ever leave comments. time to start, and tell me what you really think about me. and even if you do comment occasionaly. effing tell me what you think! cause i need to know why i'm so horrible.
yeah. umm i haven't been doing anything interesting lately. i find myself having no life, and being a loser. nobody asks me to do anything. perhaps this whole loser stage will pass soon when i can drive. i still need my drivers ed certificate. fuckers! they better send it soon, so i can at least sign up for my road test.
so just hit me up anytime you wana do anything. i'm usually very non busy, and sometime this week cause i'm off the whole week. and i'll probably be mad bored. so yeah.
Tuesdays my birthday - i'm not looking forward to it. my stepmoms gona be home but she's gona be working all day. and therefore, i have a feeling it's gona not be fun. and it's gona suck. and blah, why even have a birthday?
p.s. i wana turtle or a bird oh a dog would be nice too. and a nice guy. yeah anybody wana give me anything on my list, it's be appreciated! <3
i think this is long enough. leave the effing comments! seriously..lets get the drama rolling!
EDIT:
Already brokN: like okay..this might be part of my problem..my last boyfriend broke up with me more than 5 months ago..and it's still like lingering in my mind full board..like i don't understand what i did. and i just...miss him..and i don't know..it's shitty..and..i just sometimes just wana know..like why am i a horrible person to lose somebody so great? like why am i a horrible person..to him just stop talking to me..just..i don't know..
heartnotwanted: aww dont think like that, things end, its just thew way ytoung love goes
Already brokN: but..i don't understand..at all. like..why would he just stop talking to me?..why am i a horrible person to him?
heartnotwanted: awww just dont think like that, its just young love trust me, it happens, just for no apparent reason
Already brokN: well it hurts and it sucks.
Already brokN: i mean you'd figure 5 months later..you'd be over him..speially when you havent talked to him for like 3 months
Already brokN: but what tears you up..is when you haveto see him everyday. knowing he's there..
heartnotwanted: yeah, I know the feeling
heartnotwanted: yeah
Already brokN: and when he gives you a stuffed animal and you haveto sleep with it every night, cause it's like you're holding onto that last memory, and you feel like you'll never have memories like that again..he made it so perfect..and..just everything