[All that I have, I want to give to you.]
Well first things first. [For those of you who didn't know] My hair is now brown. It looks really hot. Okay, maybe not. But I really like it.
Second thing, I broke off the whole prom thing. Because there's no way i'm going to be able to go with him. One thing to add on to that, I was talking to Will and he said he was trying to get someone [who's very important to me] to get him to ask me. Problem, If he asks me, I lose either way. Because if I say no, I will feel horrible for saying no to him, seeings how I love him. And if I say yes. I will have to see Joe there, and he'll see me with another guy, which could cause problems for me. Which I already have enough of. So I don't need any problems. But i'm thinking that if he asks me and I explain things to him then he should hopefully understand. Umm, so supposively he doesn't hate me. And he doesn't even dislike me. But this one kid who I talk to who talks to him, says he likes me, because "who wouldn't" and "you're beautiful" But he isn't sure if he actually does like me. And I say he doesn't, because if he didn't say it to him. Then why? I don't know. But I was talking to Jon tonight and he's like I thought you were over that boy, and I was like well, I thought I was. And I don't know. He doesn't very well agree with me liking him because he says the kid is nothing but trouble. But I say that I adore that kid beyond belief and would do anything for him. And he probably is no good for me, But i'm probably no good for him either. So, it works perfectly. I guess?
Sometimes I just don't know. And now is one of those times. But I do know that I want him. And have wanted him. And there's nothing to change that, because everytime I think that i'm over him, I just get fucked over, and ends up that i'm not over him, not even a little bit. And I would definetly do anything for that kid. Because he is amazingly wonderful.
Love,
Me.
Edit:I actually said that I loved him in this. Wow. I think that I still might. This is pathetic. And I honostly don't know anymore.
Second thing, I broke off the whole prom thing. Because there's no way i'm going to be able to go with him. One thing to add on to that, I was talking to Will and he said he was trying to get someone [who's very important to me] to get him to ask me. Problem, If he asks me, I lose either way. Because if I say no, I will feel horrible for saying no to him, seeings how I love him. And if I say yes. I will have to see Joe there, and he'll see me with another guy, which could cause problems for me. Which I already have enough of. So I don't need any problems. But i'm thinking that if he asks me and I explain things to him then he should hopefully understand. Umm, so supposively he doesn't hate me. And he doesn't even dislike me. But this one kid who I talk to who talks to him, says he likes me, because "who wouldn't" and "you're beautiful" But he isn't sure if he actually does like me. And I say he doesn't, because if he didn't say it to him. Then why? I don't know. But I was talking to Jon tonight and he's like I thought you were over that boy, and I was like well, I thought I was. And I don't know. He doesn't very well agree with me liking him because he says the kid is nothing but trouble. But I say that I adore that kid beyond belief and would do anything for him. And he probably is no good for me, But i'm probably no good for him either. So, it works perfectly. I guess?
Sometimes I just don't know. And now is one of those times. But I do know that I want him. And have wanted him. And there's nothing to change that, because everytime I think that i'm over him, I just get fucked over, and ends up that i'm not over him, not even a little bit. And I would definetly do anything for that kid. Because he is amazingly wonderful.
Love,
Me.
Edit:I actually said that I loved him in this. Wow. I think that I still might. This is pathetic. And I honostly don't know anymore.