maybe on day I'll look in the mirror and smile
I feel sick. Nothing will ever be right. I'll never let myself be happy. It seems the only way to be happy in this world is to either meditate in a mountain for the rest of your life or be fucked in the head so you don't know what the hell is going on! I look at my future and see this tunnel, this straight, long, empty, dark tunnel. I feel like I'm just floating through space, and literally I have been feeling that way. My head feels like its to small for my brain and it makes me dizzy and faint. My stomache is always in a knot and I lose a little bit of self esteem each day. And for the past couple of days its either I'm way emotional or extremely apathetic.
I just wish I could lock myself in a padded room and give myself shock therapy.
oh.. and I HATE people right now. They are liars and cheaters and you'll never ever KNOW anyone because they don't even fucking know themselves. And no matter how special you think they are they are just like every other self loathing bastard in the world who will FUCK YOU OVER! So if you plan on trying to 'get to know someone' you might wanna put yourself on some valume and prepare to have your heart stomped on. God I hate cynincs.
<3 me