i dont even post for anyone anymore.. just me.
why is it that when it seems like you're gonna have a great day it gets ruined? the fact that i left work because i didnt feel like working may have been a mistake. i think i might have been happier if i just worked until 630 like i was supposed to, rather than 230. now my eyes are all puffy and red from crying, make up is running down my face, i'm still in pain from that accident, and i have a headache from all the new floors going in downstairs. i just want things to be like they were. i want my make up perfect, no pain in my back, clear eyes, and my uncle back. i thought he would make it a little longer. i thought maybe a couple months longer. i feel so bad. i dont even want to go to my aunts house because i feel like i wont be strong enough. sad, right? how can she be so strong and have people over when her husband just died and i dont even want to be around anyone? i should go, but i dont feel like i'm up for the challenge. seeing tears in my dads eyes just made it worse. i've never seen him cry. dont think i'm trying to write this post for attention or sympathy either. i'm doing it because i need to. i cant talk about it just yet. i dont want to. i don't want to accept the fact that he's gone. even though he's not blood related, calling him my uncle and knowing such an amazing person my whole life, he might as well have been blood related. he's my family and he's gone. fuck cancer.