It's Friday the 13th and I angst. And no, you don't have to read, I guess it's all quite confusing if you don't know about my personal situation and Swedish school system.
Basically, it's the usual Кем быть? spiced up by..."
(1) Until the day before yesterday, my plans were "work for a year, start five years of shrink studies at Stockholm's University in february". And then I discovered that teh med school will start a psychology line in autumn 2007. It'll be brand new and it sounds interesting...
(2) In Sweden you get a student grant and loan for twelve terms. I've already taken it for three and have at least 10 more to go.
(3) The competition for the psychology line is really high, and while I have 2.0 at Högskoleprovet, there's a risk that I will get sorted out in the lottery.
(4) I have no plan B.
So... This Christmas, it'll be 1,5 years since I dropped out of college. I really want to start studying again. And I don't want to waste more time before I start studying for my main degree. The reason why I worked for a year in the first place was that one year of working experience is a requierement for getting accepted to psychology studies in those universities I was interested in.
But now... I will apply for psychology at SU. If I come in, then I'll study, for at least one term. Maybe try to go for the med school in autumn, and see if I come in. I imagine that the competition will be tremendous. It will make me "lose" another six months. It's not like I want to lose time. I'm already 22 and besides my five years of psychology, I'll have to take sexology and stuff separately. Hopefully, I can do it parall.. parallellelly. It's a word. NOW.
And well, what if I, for some reason, do not get accepted this term? What the fuck am I supposed to do? I know I can't pull off my current job for another half a year. I guess I could get another job, but I really don't want to just work until next august! I want to study. But... then it's either student grant (= I won't get any money during my last year with psychology) or no student grant (=must work. where? how?). And if I'll study - then what? If I'm study anything other than psychology, then I at least want it to be relevant. No just-for-the-lulz-dead-languages plz. I'm looking through what's available. I can't come up with anything that feels right. I have nothing to fall back on if I don't get into SU.
If it wasn't for Stangel and the Stanjaflat, I think I'd take "going abroad and working wherever" as plan B. But now... ANGST.