It's an LJ, therefore I angst.
Had dinner with My New Big Fat Jewish-Swedish-Russian Family today. It looks like e-bay has taken over the stork's traditional role. Or else there wouldn't be so many jokes about buying babies on the Internet.
The übersexual is the new metrosexual. Note.
Flipped over Stangel today because of the stupid stupid mänga contest. It's not that I didn't win, as much as that those who have read the comic so far don't seem to have enjoyed it much. To me, feedback is important. Not only because it strokes my ego, but mainly because I want the things I create to give something to others. To move them, make them laugh. If the things I create don't give people anything, what is the point in dragging the ideas out of my head? They sound and look better in there anyway. If the existance of my comics, or pictures or writing makes no difference to others, why should I waste my time? Those whom I have told about this, say I should find a new audience, or try to create something different. But I don't think I can create things that don't scream Tanja. There must be a good side to it all. Like that I'm so fucking special and unique and speaking of that.
Angst two. It's terrifying that my Swedish will never be good. It is getting better all the time, but it will never ever be "perfect". Never. Ever. Makes me feel terribly powerless. Even if I gain control over the grammar (I still make stupid mistakes all the time), I will never get rid of my accent. Branded for life, oh the drama.
Friends say that it's hardly a problem anymore. Friends say it's charming. I don't give a fuck. I don't want my pronunceation to be charming, I want it to be neutral and normal. I don't want to, every time I meet someone new, fear that it's one of those people who will ask me to repeate things again and again and again, until a Swede repeats what I've just said. I don't want to, every time I speak in public, be aware that there are some poeple in this room who don't understand a word I'm saying. And that's just the accent, the grammar still gets to me every now and then, together with my inferior passive vocabulary, the proverbs that I don't recognize and can't use, all those things that you don't realize you need when you have them.
To top it all off, my Russian is constantly getting worse. My English sucks too, but at least it's neither my nativ tongue, nor the language that I use every day. When I write my school essays, when I meet new people, when I hang out with my friends, when I speak to my boyfriend.
Eeeehhh... punchline... So the next time you think you have a problem, think how lucky you are that you don't have to avoid words when you are not sure about which article to use! Because it's a thing I have to do on a daily basis.
The übersexual is the new metrosexual. Note.
Flipped over Stangel today because of the stupid stupid mänga contest. It's not that I didn't win, as much as that those who have read the comic so far don't seem to have enjoyed it much. To me, feedback is important. Not only because it strokes my ego, but mainly because I want the things I create to give something to others. To move them, make them laugh. If the things I create don't give people anything, what is the point in dragging the ideas out of my head? They sound and look better in there anyway. If the existance of my comics, or pictures or writing makes no difference to others, why should I waste my time? Those whom I have told about this, say I should find a new audience, or try to create something different. But I don't think I can create things that don't scream Tanja. There must be a good side to it all. Like that I'm so fucking special and unique and speaking of that.
Angst two. It's terrifying that my Swedish will never be good. It is getting better all the time, but it will never ever be "perfect". Never. Ever. Makes me feel terribly powerless. Even if I gain control over the grammar (I still make stupid mistakes all the time), I will never get rid of my accent. Branded for life, oh the drama.
Friends say that it's hardly a problem anymore. Friends say it's charming. I don't give a fuck. I don't want my pronunceation to be charming, I want it to be neutral and normal. I don't want to, every time I meet someone new, fear that it's one of those people who will ask me to repeate things again and again and again, until a Swede repeats what I've just said. I don't want to, every time I speak in public, be aware that there are some poeple in this room who don't understand a word I'm saying. And that's just the accent, the grammar still gets to me every now and then, together with my inferior passive vocabulary, the proverbs that I don't recognize and can't use, all those things that you don't realize you need when you have them.
To top it all off, my Russian is constantly getting worse. My English sucks too, but at least it's neither my nativ tongue, nor the language that I use every day. When I write my school essays, when I meet new people, when I hang out with my friends, when I speak to my boyfriend.
Eeeehhh... punchline... So the next time you think you have a problem, think how lucky you are that you don't have to avoid words when you are not sure about which article to use! Because it's a thing I have to do on a daily basis.