(no subject)
I've moved so far from whoever I was before & to have it shoved back into my face is terribly detrimental when I am doing everything in my power to avoid & conquer any means or battles of digression. - I really just bleed too much. Bringing the buried back to life by confession, the need to confess, reveal... But I'm learning now that confessing my past is the confession & the sins against a self that is no longer me. Therefore the confessions are empty, faceless, soulless & give breath only to someone who I have worked & sweat & scratched so hard to murder. It just doesn't make sense to show someone who you used to be with the intention & desire to show them who you are. I do not regret that which I cannot change. I have learned too much to shun gratitude for & to give homelessness to all of the torment that I have put myself through due to the murderous realizations of how much harm I have done to myself to become this skin. I've worked too hard to ever sacrifice this beautiful, bloodholy woman that came from that junk ridden whore in the basement. I love myself, I do & it is mostly because after all of the massacres I have witnessed within myself I still have the utmost powerful capabilities to love, trust & surrender. I am convinced that I can face anything; I have proven myself. Who I am becoming has me dreaming of motherhood because my fear is none but love & I understand how to teach it.