(no subject)

[swtynsxy24]

seriously, i feel like the biggest idiot for thinking that he would want to see me on my birthday. i thought things were going to start working themselves out and instead, we find a reason worth fighting for. of course, it would have to be on my birthday. the one and only thing i wanted, and wished for. and i couldn't have it. and my birthday sucks. i never want to have one. from now on, november 24th is the day from hell. it is every year. so it's an official "day from hell" day. im switching my birthday to some other god foresaken holiday. i went to bed last night starting off my birthday with two people ditching me so i cried myself to sleep. oh, and i was also not on good terms with another person. and then i also have a stalker now calling 8 times a day. so i kinda had a feeling my birthday wasn't gonna go very well. christmas better be better. if it's not then im just gonna fucking hang myself by a wreath. seriously, i love the holidays. so far they are going horribly. i just wanted to finally spend them with him. does he care that i like him so much? im stupid for having feelings. probably. oh well, atleast tomorrow i'll be all busy. and saturday night maybe justin and i can get along, maybe. enough to go to dinner. and sunday i'll be totally packed with work. and i'll be rich with paychecks.

i want to go for a drive tonite. but i have to work at 7am and since there's no one to hang out with now, it just wouldn't be worth it to stay up and waste gas and sleep. tonight would have been nice for the beach =(

he's right. i am a bitch. but today i'm aloud to be. tomorrow not so much.