Jeff update

[swtsurvivor]

Jeff is now on Morphine by liquid and Fentanyl by patch. The Morphine is given when the Fentanyl has a downward curve in it's pain relief. He is in a great deal of pain now. Drinking and eating very little if at all. I just found out from his wife that he is now confined to his hospital bed. He is at home with his family, and as of now being taken care of by family. J and I have been with him the last 3 weeks on Tuesdays helping my sister in law out. We all know that it won't be long now, and I am blessed to have been able to help my family like that. I won't say that it is getting easier, because something like this never gets easy, but, I am coming to peace with it all. I know soon Jeff will be in heaven with his Grandma and the rest of his extended family that has gone .. him. Jordyn is still praying for a miracle. I adore her undying faith. I am praying that Jeffs pain be taken away...however the Lord sees fit. I keep thinking about the question that Rob asked me a couple nights ago, "How does one live knowing they are going to die?" It got me thinking that we are all living knowing that we will die someday, but how is Jeff carrying on? Is that the real reason he isn't eating or drinking, because he doesn't want to fight anymore? The undying faith of my daughter keeps me hoping that Jeff hasn't given up, and even though he is bed-ridden he still has some fight left in him. Miracles do happen.

On a lighter note, my baby will be 6 this weekend. While I was decorating her cake the song I dedicate to her came on my mp3 player and I just lost it. I remember the sweet baby I held in my arms, and now...she is almost to big. I look forward to our cuddle time every night before bed, and will cherish it and hold it in my heart forever. They really do grow so fast. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUG!!!