don't read if you don't want to be depressed
How is it that one can have 295 friends on their buddy lists and feel so alone?
Why is it when I want a shoulder to cry on I look on my list and don't see anyone I'd feel comfortable talking to? There is one whom I feel very comfortable crying on but not talking to. I don't want to bother him. I already did once, and it felt great. But I feel bad because I didn't tell him what was wrong. Thank you for being you and helping me more than you'll ever know.
Then there's "him". Grrr to you. How dare you make me feel the way you do. You drag me through this emotional roller coaster saying you want me and then you don't. So I try to make it easier on you and break it off. Yet you still make me feel worthless, and now it carries into my everyday life. And you call me selfish? Ha. How do you figure? Well you're doing a great job at tearing me apart because I'm so worn down it's ridiculous. And why don't I tell you this? Because I don't want to make you feel like I have felt for the past month. But I'm selfish right? Screw you. You make me angry. Yet I know if you were to invite me over tomorrow I would be there in a heartbeat if I could. Why is that? Because you say I didn't love you. Let me restate this: Screw you.
Well I feel better. Almost.
To another: You picked a great time to come back to NY. You just add to my emotional roller coaster. And you plan to take my brother back to Florida with you? I will never forgive you for it. He's the only thing I have. Now you're going to make me cry. Please let me keep him. On another note, I remember when you loved me. Do you still love me? Please say no. Yeah they were good times but (For those of you who might be offended by the rest of this sentence look away now) I deserve better. I deserve to be with someone who wants to move forward in life. Someone who can help support the family with me, not someone who needs to be financially supported. So please forgive me for looking out for my future family. It willl be hard saying goodbye to you.
Why is it when I want a shoulder to cry on I look on my list and don't see anyone I'd feel comfortable talking to? There is one whom I feel very comfortable crying on but not talking to. I don't want to bother him. I already did once, and it felt great. But I feel bad because I didn't tell him what was wrong. Thank you for being you and helping me more than you'll ever know.
Then there's "him". Grrr to you. How dare you make me feel the way you do. You drag me through this emotional roller coaster saying you want me and then you don't. So I try to make it easier on you and break it off. Yet you still make me feel worthless, and now it carries into my everyday life. And you call me selfish? Ha. How do you figure? Well you're doing a great job at tearing me apart because I'm so worn down it's ridiculous. And why don't I tell you this? Because I don't want to make you feel like I have felt for the past month. But I'm selfish right? Screw you. You make me angry. Yet I know if you were to invite me over tomorrow I would be there in a heartbeat if I could. Why is that? Because you say I didn't love you. Let me restate this: Screw you.
Well I feel better. Almost.
To another: You picked a great time to come back to NY. You just add to my emotional roller coaster. And you plan to take my brother back to Florida with you? I will never forgive you for it. He's the only thing I have. Now you're going to make me cry. Please let me keep him. On another note, I remember when you loved me. Do you still love me? Please say no. Yeah they were good times but (For those of you who might be offended by the rest of this sentence look away now) I deserve better. I deserve to be with someone who wants to move forward in life. Someone who can help support the family with me, not someone who needs to be financially supported. So please forgive me for looking out for my future family. It willl be hard saying goodbye to you.