(no subject)
I haven't posted in a very long time...about 2 years and 8 months actually.
i'm studying in paris at the moment, i have been here for two months and i have about two months left
after being here, i want to be here forever. i want to go to graduate school here, marry a french man, and have cute little french kids.
i have a wonderful french boyfriend who is intelligent, successful, cute, hot, mature, everything.
but i can't love him because i can't stop loving you.
i'm homesick, but not for novato, not for california, but for you. you've always been my home since i've been happy.
i'm having a bit of an existential crisis.
i plan too far ahead, i get anxious about things years in advance.
maybe it's because i'm terrified that things won't go the way i want them to.
problem is, what i want is always changing, and right now i have no idea.
i need euro coins to do laundry, (it costs 4 euros a load), but france has a problem with change...they never have it.
i met a man today who told me he was forty, but i'm betting on about 45.
we went to a cafe and we talked about french literature, french cinema, music, politics, it was nice.
he treated me like a peer, which was different for me.
he told me i am too young for him, i agreed. i conveniently forgot to mention my french boyfriend.
we decided to be friends and share cultures, so we exchanged e-mails.
he was definitely married. he had a titanium wedding ring with a fat diamond in it.
i hate feeling so young.
je n'ai aucune idée que je dois faire. que je veux faire. que je peux faire.
à plus.
i'm studying in paris at the moment, i have been here for two months and i have about two months left
after being here, i want to be here forever. i want to go to graduate school here, marry a french man, and have cute little french kids.
i have a wonderful french boyfriend who is intelligent, successful, cute, hot, mature, everything.
but i can't love him because i can't stop loving you.
i'm homesick, but not for novato, not for california, but for you. you've always been my home since i've been happy.
i'm having a bit of an existential crisis.
i plan too far ahead, i get anxious about things years in advance.
maybe it's because i'm terrified that things won't go the way i want them to.
problem is, what i want is always changing, and right now i have no idea.
i need euro coins to do laundry, (it costs 4 euros a load), but france has a problem with change...they never have it.
i met a man today who told me he was forty, but i'm betting on about 45.
we went to a cafe and we talked about french literature, french cinema, music, politics, it was nice.
he treated me like a peer, which was different for me.
he told me i am too young for him, i agreed. i conveniently forgot to mention my french boyfriend.
we decided to be friends and share cultures, so we exchanged e-mails.
he was definitely married. he had a titanium wedding ring with a fat diamond in it.
i hate feeling so young.
je n'ai aucune idée que je dois faire. que je veux faire. que je peux faire.
à plus.