the big break down- day 1
My life inevitably fell apart at the end of my freshman year of college. After three easy years, I started fighting with my best friend.... constantly. Because of what some stupid bitch did. And everything else in the world just happened to fall in between us. Cool.
And it was then that I realized I had lost everyone of any value to me prior to this relationship because I invested all my time in the new... and the new was falling apart.
So my life inevitably fell apart about 18 months ago, and I've yet to be able to repair it. And I hate it. Every last bit of it.
Literally, I have no friends. School is beating me to a pulp. My breaks aren't breaks, because I work myself to death at a job where I'm underpaid and not at all appreciated. I'm never good enough. For anyone. Or anything.
And when I try to talk to people. They ignore me.
And it's just. I'm over it.
I feel sick all the time.
I feel like I'm never good enough.
And it's been drilled into my head to the point that I'm no longer even good enough for myself.
I suck at school and I go to literally the easiest school in Virginia I'm pretty sure... And having to maintain a 3.6 gpa makes me want to gouge my eyes out. And I'm in a sorority, but I don't feel like I can call anybody in it my "sister."
I'm sick of all my "friends" being those people who don't give two shits about you or even think about you unless you're right in front of their faces.
And my heart is just absolutely broken.
I just hate EVERYTHING.
I really just want to drop out of school and quit my job and move far away.
Far far away.
I just want to quit it all. I'm ready for a new life.
And it was then that I realized I had lost everyone of any value to me prior to this relationship because I invested all my time in the new... and the new was falling apart.
So my life inevitably fell apart about 18 months ago, and I've yet to be able to repair it. And I hate it. Every last bit of it.
Literally, I have no friends. School is beating me to a pulp. My breaks aren't breaks, because I work myself to death at a job where I'm underpaid and not at all appreciated. I'm never good enough. For anyone. Or anything.
And when I try to talk to people. They ignore me.
And it's just. I'm over it.
I feel sick all the time.
I feel like I'm never good enough.
And it's been drilled into my head to the point that I'm no longer even good enough for myself.
I suck at school and I go to literally the easiest school in Virginia I'm pretty sure... And having to maintain a 3.6 gpa makes me want to gouge my eyes out. And I'm in a sorority, but I don't feel like I can call anybody in it my "sister."
I'm sick of all my "friends" being those people who don't give two shits about you or even think about you unless you're right in front of their faces.
And my heart is just absolutely broken.
I just hate EVERYTHING.
I really just want to drop out of school and quit my job and move far away.
Far far away.
I just want to quit it all. I'm ready for a new life.