bored :[
Holy shiat...I am so bored.
X.x.....I'm about to die from boredom. HELP ME!!!!
damn school. No 2-hr delay. wtf? It's snowing..or was..or idk I can't see.
mae..ehm i am not wearing a panty shirt.
lets rephrase that: its a tank top that happens to look like panties..ya foo.
Ekkk..I got Friday off..Im so happy XD
Forget about quizzes..THIS is much much better!!! more interesting...
Learn Chinese
That's not right - Sum Ting Wong
Are you harbouring a fugitive? - Hu Yu Hai Ding?
See me ASAP - Kum Hia Nao
Stupid Man - Dum Gai
Small Horse - Tai Ni Po Ni
Did you go to the beach? - Wai Yu So Tan?
I bumped into a coffee table - Ai Bang Mai Ni
I think you need a face lift. - Chin Tu Fat
It's very dark in here - Wai So Dim?
I thought you were on a diet. - Wai Yu Mun Ching?
This is a tow away zone - No Pah King
Our meeting is scheduled for next week? - Wai Yu Kum Nao?
Staying out of sight - Lei Ying Lo
He's cleaning his automobile. - Wa Shing Ka
Your body odor is offensive. - Yu Stin Ki Pu
Has your flight been delayed? - Hao Long Wei Ting?
You know lyrics to the Macarena? - Wai Yu Sing Dum Song?
I got this for free. - Ai No Pei
Phew! Does this bathroom stink! - Hu Flung Dung?
Dildo - Fun Toi
Ex-wife - Fa Kin Sau
Where´s the restroom? - Ai Pe Nau
I absolutely agree! - No Daut
Jesus Child - Ho Li Boi
Dogshit under my shoe - Stin Kin Puh
Stop teasing me! - Tat Nut Fun
Annoying kid - Hit Tat Boi
Cough up some dough! - Pei Nau
Go for a ride for free - Hit Hai King
I think our friend is homo - He Gai
Your price is too high - Ai No Bai Dam Ting
That was an unauthorized execution - Lin Ching
You are not very bright - Yu So Dum
I am not guilty - Wai Hang Mi
Please, stay a while longer - Wai Go Nao
They have arrived - Hia Dei Kum
Hey, I think we have a serious problem here! - Sum Ting Wong
Having an early orgasm - Kum Tu Suun
Saying the same thing several times - Ri Pi Ting
Are You horny? - Yu Har Dik
You´re just so stupid - Fak Ju
I just get drunk so easy - On Li Tu
Oh, You´ve been smoking as well? - Ju Tu Hai
I´ve got something in my eye - Aut Mai Ai
You explained that before, but finally I understand - Ai See Nau
Listen baby, isn´t that a pretty and romantic sky tonight? - Mun So Brait
Let´s get outta here and that fast as hell! - Fa Kin Run
Oh, just look at that Ferrari! - Big Boi Toi
I´m just so horny - Ma Dik Big
As I said before, Microsoft sucks! - Fa Kin Kom Pu Da
I told You that´s he´s extremely ticklish! - Jum Pin Hai
Hey buddy, I know it´s winter, but not THAT cold to pee outdoor - Wai Ju Ding So Tai Nee
Ok listen, this got to look like an accident - Hit Mai Ai
Stupid Man - Dum Fuk
Great - Fa Kin Su Pah
yes i make fun of myself..but its all good.
Little Johnny :D
Little Johnny's 2nd grade teacher was quizzing them on the alphabet.
“Johnny,” she says, “what comes after 'O'?”
Johnny says, “Yeah!”
Little Johnny had just returned from his summer break and gone back to school.
Three days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving.
"Hold on," she said.
"I had Johnny with me for the entire summer and I never called you once when he misbehaved."
The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun in months."
Then asked the class, "How should I correct this sentence?"
Little Johnny raised his had and replied, "Get yourself a new boyfriend."
Little Johnny's teacher asks, "What is the chemical formula for water?"
Little Johnny replies, "HIJKLMNO"!!
The teacher, puzzled, asks, "What on Earth are you talking about?"
Little Johnny replies, "Yesterday you said it was H to O!"
The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
"No sir," Little Johnny replies, "I don't have to, my mom is a good cook!"
Little Johnny wasn't a very good speller.
One day, during a spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word "new" on the blackboard.
"Now," she asked Johnny, "what word would we have if we placed a "K" in the front?"
After thinking a few seconds, Johnny said, "Canoe?"
Men vs Women
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item she doesn't want.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful womand is one who can find such a man.
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and try not to understand her at all.
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
Men wake up as good looking as when they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the start of a new argument.
There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman:
Before marriage and After.