To a Selected....few
life so unfair. im not gona say its impossible to live. its hard, no doubt. and its not great. sometimes i question calling it good. but, its not all bad -just seems that way sometimes. if u gimme time to myself-i can think things away. and they rn't all for the better. if i have any free time, i over-analyze everything. and now, im afraid of something. i guess the past few days ive kinda got this "picture-perfect" idea in my head, and its not worth it. because of the timin, this would be amazing..and perfect. but theres things in my way. not to say that when ive been in this situation before...one of my friends hasnt like, killed everything, so why couldnt i do it to them? maybe im not that type of person...and i feel, hurt. but it is for the better. cuz i can look at the downs of all this and see an 'up' that this guy is an amazin friend. and if relationship wise wont work between us, well....his friendship is more then enuff. its not ne1 that any1 readin this woudl expect. because, even tho im not with him all the time, like i am with others..he 4real. hes not afraid to talk 2 me around other ppl not in "the ususal group" and i <3that. all these other people, like wat the hells so wrong with me...when u see me alone u cant even manage a simple hi? it hurts, but it feels good to know that i can manage without these ppl in my live. and i will be fine. with one friend, or 20 friends. so...screw you. u hurt me, and i dont need you. this may take time to get over, but im one step closer. im tired of wonderin whats wrong with me..why no1 ever calls me to do nething? cuz im not "good enuff" for you. or thats what u wana think. maybe i am too good for you. and, it hurts to think most of my memories are wastes..well things change. and im not old enuff, or cool enuff, pretty enuff to hang out with u, or not as secure with myself. well....fvck it, and fvck u! u mean, nothin to me, but a few pic. and a lotta memories. ive got more life to live. and u better belive ima live it. u didnt bring me down...u jus made me that much stronger-how can i ever thank you?