(no subject)

[swssarmyromance]

I don't think I have cried this hard in a really long time. Why is it that when it rains it pours. I hate life and the real world, and I especially hate driving right now. I just don't understand why when I had my other car which was a peice I never got into wrecks, never got tickets, but now with my new pretty car I have gotten in 2 wrecks within 3 months. I just don't understand. The guy was a nut job, he was probably 40 and his mom came, not only that but it was all about him. The cop said "which way were you going" but he talked to the other guy for about 30 minutes. The guy was a kiss ass, there were witnesses since there was construction on the corner where I hit the guy the city workers saw the whole thing. I didn't see the guy and I will put my hand on a bible and say that the guy probably ran the yellow light that is right up the road that you can see from the intersection where I got in the wreck, and I am pretty sure the guy was speeding, but NO it's all my fault, which I know that to the cops and the law it was my fault, my I swear I didn't see the guy until he was honking at me and I tried to swerve out of the way but I didn't swerve far enough. Where did that guy come from? The thing about it, is that since I didn't see him until I was hitting him really, I don't remember much about the accident. So right now I hate myself and my parents hate me and really nothing is good in my life. I know it could be a lot worse, but why do I have to feel like such a fuck up and that I am worthless. I just have a feeling that he knows in his mind that he caused this but it's all my fault, I know that is really ignorant to say but the cars that were sitting at that light had already passed, and then he was just randomly there, so I know I already said this but I am pretty sure that he sped up and ran the light and by the time I was turning he was where I was and I didn't see him. The light isn't very far from where I was turning so it makes sense. I can't turn back time and I can't take it back, but this really sucks. Oh and I hate insurance companies.

Well I am off to Houston for Wed and Thurs, maybe this will somewhat take my mind off it.