This is a pretty crazy feeling. I barely even know where to start.
At the end of 2011, sometime during the fall, I read through some old diaries of mine. I found one from when I was 13, when I was called into the nurse’s office to discuss my mental health. She gave me a bunch of phone numbers - I barely remember this meeting now - but according to my diary, one of those numbers was for a hotline: Line 59 for bi- and homosexual youth. I was appalled. Why would she give me the number there? Did I give off the impression of being a homosexual?!
I showed this diary entry to my girlfriend, and we laughed. Then I showed it to my best friend, and three years later, here we are.
Ah. When I started writing this thing I was a in a very bad place emotionally, whereas now, I’m better, and I think a lot of what I’ve learned over this time has gone into this fic. It’s the first time I’ve ever finished anything to this length, and writing is my passion, so right now it’s difficult to explain what I’m feeling.
I had some different storylines planned out from the beginning. At first, I was only going to write Taeny’s storyline, but then I watched the MV for Time Machine and bam, it became much bigger than that. I had originally planned a storyline for Yoonhyun where Yoona was going to get married and stuff, but then I realized - hey, aren’t these people in high school? And I had to rethink my whole life. Kind of odd. Might write that storyline sometime on its own, though.
And as far as Yulsicsun is concerned, I had no idea how I wanted their dilemma to end at first. I planned on writing it so that Jessica chose them both and continued to lie to Yuri, but I realized that 1) it was very anticlimactic and 2) it would never in a million years work. So this happened.
Funny story, too - well, not that funny, unless you’re a sadist - a few days after I wrote Yulsic’s first almost-breakup scene ("What are you saying now, Sica?" she begged. "What's happening to us?"), my real-life girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me. A couple of weeks later I dragged myself out of my cave to write Yoonhyun’s breakup, but after that I didn’t write for this fic again for more than 6 months. That was pretty sucky. But then there was the part of letting everyone find their way back to each other, and it was a very healing thing to write. As were the calls Taeyeon and Sunny made to Line 49. In a way I think I was writing those to give myself more confidence. And I think I learned a lot.
Oh well, not to drag things out. To everyone that has stayed with me for this long - check this out by the way:
Yeah, shit. That’s a lot of words. So many in fact that Word has gone insane and started doing things like this:
You guys are crazy for staying with me until now, and I love you for it. Here on livejournal you’ve been very stingy with the comments (but I’ve seen you around online talking about the fic so you’re forgiven), while on asianfanfics I’ve received loads of feedback. Regardless, thank you so much for your time, for reading, leaving comments if you wanted to, for all your sweet words and encouragement. Here’s to more projects in the future, of better quality, more emotion and hopefully less difficulties with the English language :D