The song of the coming battle
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1749H 07/25/08 (GMT +0800H)
At times, silence speaks to me.
It speaks with the voices of my friends, of the characters in the books that I've read, of the various singers & bands I prefer & of the self from my past.
One may conclude that I'm having aural hallucinations. Think as you see fit.
Here & now, the silence speaks & it says: "The battle is upon you, yet you have not the required mastery over Freedom & Destiny".
The local Physical Therapist's Licensure exam will be held the day after this post.
My mastery over the topics is inconstant, at best. At worst, I will only have my wits to rely on, in a situation that requires knowledge. My mastery of the topics is like my current hold on my swords, tis true that I can hold them with reasonable skill but my current aptitude will not allow me to feed Freedom & Destiny again, for there's the chance I will fail. Failure in mortal combat results in death & my death will deny Freedom & Destiny the blood of my enemies.
True, Failure walks beside Triumph every step of the journey, with only one being there at the point of judgment. At each point, only one betwixt Failure & Triumph will stand to embrace you while the other looks on.
Here, now, I look at Triumph & Failure & I can see that both hold their arms open.
I hope that it is Triumph who'll embrace me.
Yet, I cannot deny that there's this perverse desire to be embraced by Failure.
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Here & now, I know that there are mere hours, minutes, before I face battle. While the examination is not the battle I lust for, the exertions of my mind will still tax my body, albeit on a limited degree.
In tomorrow's battle, my mind will draw on the strength of my body to fuel, drive & use my mental resources to answer the questions tomorrow & on Sunday.
In the battle I lust for, my mind & body will work in harmony to earn the victory I hunger for. In that battle, my mind will perceive the flow of power from my body to my opponent & back to me. In that battle, my body will act passionately in accordance with the perceptions of my mind. Both will give no less to shape the victory I desire.
In tomorrow's battle, though my preparations are incomplete, though the Samurai is underpowered, I shall give it my all.
Careful, measured consideration will dictate when I will answer questions that require educated guesses.
Careful, quick perception will dictate what questions will be answered quickly & thus earn me more time.
~
I have failed to exert the entirety of my person in this endeavor & that is where my fear founts & festers.
I cite my lack of discipline, for I have not practiced my dance every day prior to this day. Had I practiced everyday, my mind & body would be at its peak, able to contain & wield the knowledge I desire.
I cite my resentment against my family, for I know that I've this illogical desire to fail because I know my failure will hurt them more that it will hurt me and will thus be an instrument against them. Had I restrained my resentment, my chances of success would be better.
Come what may, these two criminals will be punished with discorporation & chaining, respectively.
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The war for my victory burns on & tomorrow a battle will shine bright.
Watch me, my friends.
Celebrate joyous victory with me.
Give me solitude as I mourn my defeat.
In my soul, I hold you dear.
-=~~~=~
You. Yes, you.
I am most pleased that I am free of your person. You are most disloyal & your morals loose. That I sought your company before, the thought of such a thing, nauseates me.
While I am disgusted with myself, I am content that I can walk away from you.
While I myself am impure, that you cannot taint my person any more than you have is a relief beyond compare.
Stay away.
Then again, you wouldn't know if you were close to me or not, so the warning's moot.
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1749H 07/25/08 (GMT +0800H)
At times, silence speaks to me.
It speaks with the voices of my friends, of the characters in the books that I've read, of the various singers & bands I prefer & of the self from my past.
One may conclude that I'm having aural hallucinations. Think as you see fit.
Here & now, the silence speaks & it says: "The battle is upon you, yet you have not the required mastery over Freedom & Destiny".
The local Physical Therapist's Licensure exam will be held the day after this post.
My mastery over the topics is inconstant, at best. At worst, I will only have my wits to rely on, in a situation that requires knowledge. My mastery of the topics is like my current hold on my swords, tis true that I can hold them with reasonable skill but my current aptitude will not allow me to feed Freedom & Destiny again, for there's the chance I will fail. Failure in mortal combat results in death & my death will deny Freedom & Destiny the blood of my enemies.
True, Failure walks beside Triumph every step of the journey, with only one being there at the point of judgment. At each point, only one betwixt Failure & Triumph will stand to embrace you while the other looks on.
Here, now, I look at Triumph & Failure & I can see that both hold their arms open.
I hope that it is Triumph who'll embrace me.
Yet, I cannot deny that there's this perverse desire to be embraced by Failure.
~
Here & now, I know that there are mere hours, minutes, before I face battle. While the examination is not the battle I lust for, the exertions of my mind will still tax my body, albeit on a limited degree.
In tomorrow's battle, my mind will draw on the strength of my body to fuel, drive & use my mental resources to answer the questions tomorrow & on Sunday.
In the battle I lust for, my mind & body will work in harmony to earn the victory I hunger for. In that battle, my mind will perceive the flow of power from my body to my opponent & back to me. In that battle, my body will act passionately in accordance with the perceptions of my mind. Both will give no less to shape the victory I desire.
In tomorrow's battle, though my preparations are incomplete, though the Samurai is underpowered, I shall give it my all.
Careful, measured consideration will dictate when I will answer questions that require educated guesses.
Careful, quick perception will dictate what questions will be answered quickly & thus earn me more time.
~
I have failed to exert the entirety of my person in this endeavor & that is where my fear founts & festers.
I cite my lack of discipline, for I have not practiced my dance every day prior to this day. Had I practiced everyday, my mind & body would be at its peak, able to contain & wield the knowledge I desire.
I cite my resentment against my family, for I know that I've this illogical desire to fail because I know my failure will hurt them more that it will hurt me and will thus be an instrument against them. Had I restrained my resentment, my chances of success would be better.
Come what may, these two criminals will be punished with discorporation & chaining, respectively.
~
The war for my victory burns on & tomorrow a battle will shine bright.
Watch me, my friends.
Celebrate joyous victory with me.
Give me solitude as I mourn my defeat.
In my soul, I hold you dear.
-=~~~=~
You. Yes, you.
I am most pleased that I am free of your person. You are most disloyal & your morals loose. That I sought your company before, the thought of such a thing, nauseates me.
While I am disgusted with myself, I am content that I can walk away from you.
While I myself am impure, that you cannot taint my person any more than you have is a relief beyond compare.
Stay away.
Then again, you wouldn't know if you were close to me or not, so the warning's moot.