On the arctic blasts
Hey look!
Its me. Feeling salty.
So heres the lowdown; Nick stopped going to school until he gets into the Burlington County College radiography program. He aquires a full time nursing assistant job that pays money to the extent that sometimes I dont know what to do with it all. He moves out. With his ex girlfriend. Whom he never really liked and only really stuck around so long because she bought him copious amounts of booze. Typical Nick huh?
*Side story. Nick is also extremely lonely, as he typically gets in the winter. He joins a dating site called okcupid.com and meets some very nice young ladies. One he went on a date with and she was terrific, but then a friend of hers died and she flipped out on me and decided not to talk to me anymore. The other I met just stopped responding to my emails without warning.*
So yeah, roommate is a slob and it didnt work out, the living arrangements. Nick moves out and into philadelphia. Horray! Nick is happy. Nick meets girl named Julie, who cracks just as many thats what she said jokes as he does. Later she hunts Nick down on myspace and asks to hang out again. We do, sex happens, she makes it abundantly clear that we are not dating. She wants to be exclusive and see eachother, but no boyfriend/girlfriend titles. Okayyy, Nick is hesitant of this arrangement and inquires further of the reason. She explains that there is a boy she had broken up with a few months back who she would not hesitate to be with at his request. Didnt bother me at the time but a few weeks into the seeing eachother or whatever the hell you want to call it, It just started to bother me. I mean, Nick. Oh right, thats what set me off. She apparently thinks Nick is a lot more sensitive than he is. Nick called to make sure she still wanted to hang out later this specific night because she had mentioned earlier in a text that she was exhausted. Nick asks "Do you wanna skip hanging out tonight since you said you were tired?" She quickly throws up her annoyed/angry tone and says something along the lines of "Lets not get into this right now." So yeah, dumbfounded, the boy just puts up defensive mode and appologizes and says he'll come over. Thaaats why he said we should probably just cut this off while its little, because its not going anywhere.
Anywho she convinces him to still see her. And this is where we are up to date.
Oh right, and last year I fell in love with my best friend, Hannah, who has had a boyfriend for the past 7 years. She cheated on him with me, and now we dont talk anymore. She probably wants me dead. But she claimed she loved me too?
And now, here I am debating if this Julie thing is worth it. Shes the type of girl who when you attempt to say something sweet to she just laughs at you can calls you gay. Not really my type at all. But she is helluva fun. And at least Im not alone? Although i only dont feel lonely when shes around. Any other time I feel right back to loneliness. It blows.
And the old depression is hitting me again. Its a mess. Im still under the impression I should just be single. Im not good in relationships. Especially this one. I wanted to take her out for valentines day, not buy her anything. I was going to take her to the beach and we'd have a picnic at night with 40s. But no, because its on the date and she hates valentines day, nevermind. Not only that, when I approached her with the idea, she seemed more offended than anything. How dare I attempt to take you out for a nice night that'll probably be crazy fun?
Ohhh fuck it. I know whats gonna happen, Im going to stay with her because I dont want to be alone. Ill stay with her until i end up hating her for being so detatched emotionally.
Dont get me wrong, shes great, beautiful, funny, we have fun together. Which is the most important thing to me. But apparenty this nonsense with her being so distant emotionally pisses me off.
Wonder if anyone will read this?
Its me. Feeling salty.
So heres the lowdown; Nick stopped going to school until he gets into the Burlington County College radiography program. He aquires a full time nursing assistant job that pays money to the extent that sometimes I dont know what to do with it all. He moves out. With his ex girlfriend. Whom he never really liked and only really stuck around so long because she bought him copious amounts of booze. Typical Nick huh?
*Side story. Nick is also extremely lonely, as he typically gets in the winter. He joins a dating site called okcupid.com and meets some very nice young ladies. One he went on a date with and she was terrific, but then a friend of hers died and she flipped out on me and decided not to talk to me anymore. The other I met just stopped responding to my emails without warning.*
So yeah, roommate is a slob and it didnt work out, the living arrangements. Nick moves out and into philadelphia. Horray! Nick is happy. Nick meets girl named Julie, who cracks just as many thats what she said jokes as he does. Later she hunts Nick down on myspace and asks to hang out again. We do, sex happens, she makes it abundantly clear that we are not dating. She wants to be exclusive and see eachother, but no boyfriend/girlfriend titles. Okayyy, Nick is hesitant of this arrangement and inquires further of the reason. She explains that there is a boy she had broken up with a few months back who she would not hesitate to be with at his request. Didnt bother me at the time but a few weeks into the seeing eachother or whatever the hell you want to call it, It just started to bother me. I mean, Nick. Oh right, thats what set me off. She apparently thinks Nick is a lot more sensitive than he is. Nick called to make sure she still wanted to hang out later this specific night because she had mentioned earlier in a text that she was exhausted. Nick asks "Do you wanna skip hanging out tonight since you said you were tired?" She quickly throws up her annoyed/angry tone and says something along the lines of "Lets not get into this right now." So yeah, dumbfounded, the boy just puts up defensive mode and appologizes and says he'll come over. Thaaats why he said we should probably just cut this off while its little, because its not going anywhere.
Anywho she convinces him to still see her. And this is where we are up to date.
Oh right, and last year I fell in love with my best friend, Hannah, who has had a boyfriend for the past 7 years. She cheated on him with me, and now we dont talk anymore. She probably wants me dead. But she claimed she loved me too?
And now, here I am debating if this Julie thing is worth it. Shes the type of girl who when you attempt to say something sweet to she just laughs at you can calls you gay. Not really my type at all. But she is helluva fun. And at least Im not alone? Although i only dont feel lonely when shes around. Any other time I feel right back to loneliness. It blows.
And the old depression is hitting me again. Its a mess. Im still under the impression I should just be single. Im not good in relationships. Especially this one. I wanted to take her out for valentines day, not buy her anything. I was going to take her to the beach and we'd have a picnic at night with 40s. But no, because its on the date and she hates valentines day, nevermind. Not only that, when I approached her with the idea, she seemed more offended than anything. How dare I attempt to take you out for a nice night that'll probably be crazy fun?
Ohhh fuck it. I know whats gonna happen, Im going to stay with her because I dont want to be alone. Ill stay with her until i end up hating her for being so detatched emotionally.
Dont get me wrong, shes great, beautiful, funny, we have fun together. Which is the most important thing to me. But apparenty this nonsense with her being so distant emotionally pisses me off.
Wonder if anyone will read this?