(no subject)
Why did I even bother going to college? Neither of my brothers did, and she's fine with that. But I decided to, and she should be happy enough with that. But no, she pushes me far too hard and expects way too much from me just because she got straight A's all through college and thinks that I can do the same because I'm her offspring. Makes perfect sense, right? No, it doesn't. I'm lazy and unmotivated when it comes to things that don't interest me, and I can tell you right now that I won't get all A's every time, but just because I forgot about one test doesn't mean that my work habits (and yes, I do have them) are insufficient and that I'm going to be a total failure in college, contrary to what some people apparently think.
I wonder if it were all just a mistake. Why not just fade into the majority of people and not bother going to college? Why strive to be anything or make anything special out of myself? I'm nothing special. Why show the world that I care about bettering myself and about being successful in life? Because I do care, that's why, and the fact that I am putting forth effort should be enough for her.
I just want her to not care. I want her to be completely detached from my academic life, and to not push me to do well. I want to show her that I can get things done by myself and without any constant, unbearable pressure. Then, when I graduate college with good grades, I can show her that there was really no point to her relentless pushing.
[Yahoo]
Brad: -= Sighs... =- I just wanted to be with you. That's all. Two and a half hours just for me and you, and then I could get to work because I would have had something that made me happy. But no, I'm sitting here by myself, writing a depressing LJ entry and holding back tears, in no mood to get any school work done, all because she wouldn't let me be with you. Her take on discipline makes perfect sense, I think.
I wonder if it were all just a mistake. Why not just fade into the majority of people and not bother going to college? Why strive to be anything or make anything special out of myself? I'm nothing special. Why show the world that I care about bettering myself and about being successful in life? Because I do care, that's why, and the fact that I am putting forth effort should be enough for her.
I just want her to not care. I want her to be completely detached from my academic life, and to not push me to do well. I want to show her that I can get things done by myself and without any constant, unbearable pressure. Then, when I graduate college with good grades, I can show her that there was really no point to her relentless pushing.
[Yahoo]
Brad: -= Sighs... =- I just wanted to be with you. That's all. Two and a half hours just for me and you, and then I could get to work because I would have had something that made me happy. But no, I'm sitting here by myself, writing a depressing LJ entry and holding back tears, in no mood to get any school work done, all because she wouldn't let me be with you. Her take on discipline makes perfect sense, I think.