two steps forward, one step back
fuck you, Verizon. Fuck you, and not allowing even partial payments to the $291 you insist we owe you.
Not gonna ask for money again; Western Union makes that far more of a clusterfuck than I want anyone to go through, and more importantly, I'm sick of owing people. In addition, the ability to pay it is, currently - a big unknown. I don't KNOW if we're getting help to pay it or not, and I don't want to ask people to help if we don't need it because GOD FUCKING DAMN, ANY FUCKING MONEY THAT IS UNACCOUNTED FOR JUST GOES TO SHOVELING CIGARETTES DOWN MY FUCKING FATHER-IN-LAW'S GULLET.
I'm sick of this. I really am. There's a small pile of pocket change sitting right in front of the computer, nice and stacked up, and I know for a fact that someone's being passive-aggressive and expecting me to go out and buy cigarettes with it. And I know if I don't, someone else will. Except, everyone here knows that, being how I am, that will just make me feel GUILTIER because I'm more capable. And so, in my refusal, I'm making others strain themselves. Including a fifty-five year old who can barely WALK twenty feet, much less the 500 meters or so it is to the local gas station.
I know for a fact that he will violently oppose change on this stance, considering his, well, forceful outbursts and the fact that his view on his smoking habit is "It's my body, if I want to kill it, so be it", his shortsighted nature meaning he doesn't give two and a half shits about anybody but himself (if he did, he'd actually consider SAVING SOME OF HIS SSI CHECK FOR BILLS instead of squandering it on goddamn FAST FOOD CRAVINGS) and, again, if you tell him no, he'll either lash out at you or force himself to do it - one way or another, to defy him is to have SOMEBODY get hurt.
I'm fucking SICK of this.
Not gonna ask for money again; Western Union makes that far more of a clusterfuck than I want anyone to go through, and more importantly, I'm sick of owing people. In addition, the ability to pay it is, currently - a big unknown. I don't KNOW if we're getting help to pay it or not, and I don't want to ask people to help if we don't need it because GOD FUCKING DAMN, ANY FUCKING MONEY THAT IS UNACCOUNTED FOR JUST GOES TO SHOVELING CIGARETTES DOWN MY FUCKING FATHER-IN-LAW'S GULLET.
I'm sick of this. I really am. There's a small pile of pocket change sitting right in front of the computer, nice and stacked up, and I know for a fact that someone's being passive-aggressive and expecting me to go out and buy cigarettes with it. And I know if I don't, someone else will. Except, everyone here knows that, being how I am, that will just make me feel GUILTIER because I'm more capable. And so, in my refusal, I'm making others strain themselves. Including a fifty-five year old who can barely WALK twenty feet, much less the 500 meters or so it is to the local gas station.
I know for a fact that he will violently oppose change on this stance, considering his, well, forceful outbursts and the fact that his view on his smoking habit is "It's my body, if I want to kill it, so be it", his shortsighted nature meaning he doesn't give two and a half shits about anybody but himself (if he did, he'd actually consider SAVING SOME OF HIS SSI CHECK FOR BILLS instead of squandering it on goddamn FAST FOOD CRAVINGS) and, again, if you tell him no, he'll either lash out at you or force himself to do it - one way or another, to defy him is to have SOMEBODY get hurt.
I'm fucking SICK of this.