Fic: Ferelden TV
Title - Ferelden Television
Rating - E
Category: Comedy/AU
Summary - Totally Alternate-universe and the author having a really fun time with it....
Ferelden Television Schedules
09:00 am Spongebob Taintpants
Spongebob goes on an adventure to Antiva
10:00am Time Team
Tony Robinson and the gang investigate dragon bones found under a brothel in Denerim
11:30am FILM: Independence Day
Historical epic showing the defeat of Orlais. Starring Bann Teagan as the dashingly handsome liberator of Redcliffe.
1:30pm The X Factor Highlights
Clips from previous shows where Leliana - Bard to the court of King Alistair - berates hopefuls by saying their singing reminds her of 'Lamb and pea stew boiled up and shoved up Dog's arse'.
2:30pm The 100 Greatest Things About Ferelden
A special voted for by viewers. Heavily edited to remove sexual language. Zevran hosts.
4:00pm Enchantment!
Sandal enchants objects from the audience. A special this week on enchanting undergarments, cooking pots and chickens.
5:00pm A Royal Audience
King Alistair tells us of the quest to rebuild the Grey Wardens and how he found his true love amid chaos and war.
6:00pm Deependers
Oghren drops his sword into the lava. Will Lord Harrowmont ever find out the true secret behind his wife's behavior? Will Lady Aeducan confess her feelings? And what stake has Jarvia got in all this?
7:00pm Grey Warden 5
Sci-fi adventure set in the distant future where Grey Wardens are the last best hope for humanity against the space-faring Blights. This week the budding romance between the Captain Ali and Crewman Cousland is threatened when the ship unexpectedly runs into a smut-free zone.
8:45pm Friends
The party members try gifting each other random bits of crap.
10:00pm CSI Denerim
Multiple dead bodies are found in the back alleys. No-one cares.
11:00pm Fereldens Funniest Home Videos
A special showing King Alistair walking into fights with no clothes on, assorted 'failed romance scenes' and dogs going for a wee into plate armour.
12:00pm Witches Gone Wild
Morrigan shows us around her house and home.
Highlights from other channels:
Sport 24
10:00pm World Heavyweight Boxing. Sten vs Shale
Adult channel
11:00pm Wynne's Wild Ways. Learn how to use lyrium to enhance your lovemaking.
Discovery Channel
6:00pm Genlocks and Hurlocks. Brother Gentivi walks us through the disection of these strange creatures. Specimens kindly donated by the Grey Wardens.
Shopping Channel:
1:00pm Swords and Shields. The best from the loot of the Deep Roads