Tips for future fan-fic?

[olnl07]

I wrote my first fan-fic ever but I think it's just not good. I had reserves about posting it but I did it anyway, I'm eager to learn and get better. I'm not sure whats wrong with it.

Here is my fan-fic. If any of you awsome writers can review it and perhaps let me know what I need to do better next time. I would really appreciate it.

It takes place a few years after deciding to make Loghain a Warden.

Here it is...

::shys away::

http://olnl07.livejournal.com/