[fic] War is Never Cheap Here (8/12)
Title: War is Never Cheap Here (8/12)
Authors: cherith & serindrana
Game: Dragon Age: Origins
Pairing: Bann Teagan/Ser Cauthrien
Series Rating: NC-17
Chapter Rating: T
Series Wordcount (to date): 66,366
Chapter Wordcount: 7,403
Warnings: None
Summary: A late summer picnic gives occasion for Teagan to practice symmetry and discretion- and Cauthrien to try valiantly to keep them both on task. (Ao3) (FF)
Notes: War is Never Cheap Here will be updating weekly, on Fridays. Projected length looking like twelve chapters.
Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12
Chapter Eight
Teagan watched as Cauthrien left the butcher’s shop. She moved with quick, angry strides and jerked Calenhad's lead as she worked at unhitching the garron. His own conversation with Èdouard had been mostly fruitless, and it didn't look as if she had better news.
With a quicker pace for both he and his horse, he closed the distance between them, calling out a ‘hello’ with another wave. After this morning, he was ready to get another moment alone with Cauthrien. Not there in the street, but he tried to think of where they could go to talk, to be away from the town and his estate, provided she had only frustration from her meeting with the butcher and not have pressing news.
She straightened up and looked to him, nodding. Her expression was tight, though, and his hopes faltered before he decided to simply press forward.
He watched her with a clear smile while he approached, and when he was near enough, he asked, “Learn anything useful?” And then, before she could answer, he followed it with, “And do we have time for lunch?”
It took a moment for Cauthrien to respond, but when she did, her voice was even and almost relieved. "Some useful, yes. A lot confusing. I- yes, lunch sounds wonderful, but what about talking to Edlyn's family...?"
“I was thinking,” Teagan said stretching his words out playfully, hoping she would respond in kind, “that we could have a nice lunch, discuss what we’ve learned, and what to tell Edlyn’s parents.”
A little time and distance from Cauthrien, brief as it had been, made him only happy to see her, even under their current circumstances. Her letter to Anora was forgotten and he looked forward to sitting somewhere with her, even if just for a little while.
“We don’t need to go back to the estate. We can find something from town to eat and perhaps ride a ways? Find a place between here and the farm to sit and eat?”
Cauthrien hesitated again, looking down and letting go of the knot that she had been undoing. "That sounds nice," she finally said, tight smile turning somewhat embarrassed. "... Oswin sells what looks like good sausage. I was going to pick some up for your kitchens, actually. Though if we want any, it'd be best if you went in. And were prepared for some pointed looks."
“I think we can manage.” He shook his head. That seemed too awkward. “To go in so soon after your questions- no, it would seem odd. Perhaps it would be best to give it some time and find something else to eat.”
He eyed her curiously for a moment, wondering if she would explain where the tension in her shoulders came from. “Unless I need to go in? Was it- was he not forthcoming?”
"No, I just pushed too hard and he- kicked me out." She flushed a little. "He's certain that Èdouard isn't involved in Edlyn's disappearance, so my questions didn't go over well. Still- I may have learned something interesting. I'll tell you late-"
Calenhad danced back sharply. He had managed to undo the knot that Cauthrien had loosened, and the soldier swore under her breath and moved to catch hold of his bridle.
He watched her horse start and grinned as she reached after him. “Perhaps we should get that food before these two stage a revolt. A nice field should suit them, and us.”
She laughed as she gave Calenhad's bridle a sharp pull. "Shall we eat grass as well, then?" she asked, before turning to look at Calenhad. She shook her head and frowned slightly, and the horse stamped his front hoof, impatiently. With a sigh she let go, only to swing herself onto his back.
Teagan let out a laugh and then swung up on his own horse. “No, I don’t think we’ll get much nourishment that way. But I think there’s a place down the way here where we could grab something-” He waved a hand towards the other end of the road and nudged his horse forward. “I can go in and get something for us both.”
"Bann Teagan, doing the day's shopping," she said, dryly, but the smile she sent him next was more relieved than any of her others had been. "On the way in I saw in one of the common fields a small grove of willows- we can meet there." Her words were a little hurried and though she was smiling, her eyes slid from him when he tried to catch her gaze.
She seemed nervous, maybe realizing what he was getting at- a nice meal, just the two of them, away from prying eyes. He laughed.
“You go on ahead then,” he said. “I’ll do the shopping.”
He negotiated his horse around towards the shop he had indicated earlier. And then, after giving her another grin, eyes twinkling, he nudged his horse forward down the road. Behind him he heard her murmur soft to her horse, and then the answering cadence of hooves on packed dirt as she headed out of town.
As he approached the building - a bakery, from the sign hanging outside - and dismounted, he wondered about what exactly he should pick them up for lunch. He wanted something light, simple, but he was making a gesture-
This was not treating her like a guest, or a hand of the Queen, this was courting. It was something Teagan hadn’t tried to do in a very long time, even with his interest in the Warden-Commander. He hitched his horse to the nearby rail and thought about what that meant. He hadn’t exactly been courting the Lady Cousland, merely... expressing an interest. One he had only begun to learn wasn’t really mutual.
With Cauthrien, it was different- much different. Still, they had less than a month-
Maker.
He pulled open the door to the baker’s and wondered what he was doing. What was he really doing, playing this game - a very potentially politically volatile game - and did that matter to him at all?
Ignoring the sideways glances and soft whispers behind lifted hands, he made his purchase and left the shop, still lost in thought. After facing down Cauthrien’s sword, she had followed him home. That meant something more to him- perhaps more than a month was going to provide them. He had never thought that way before, and it left him nervous and uncomfortable.
Teagan led his horse, walking instead of riding down the road and around to the main square. A vendor there had fresh fruits available and he was grateful for the good weather that provided their availability. On his way back out of town, he stopped a last time, stepping into a shop to buy some cheese. He was more aware this time and tried to to appear polite, smiling and nodding to those that stared at him.
When he was done, he made sure everything was wrapped and stored securely before swinging back up on his horse. On the ride out of town and towards Cauthrien, he tried to force everything out of his mind. Whatever it was between them, he wanted the time they had to be more pleasant- to keep from repeating the same up and down cycle they had been facing the past few days. If they could do that and figure out what had happened to Edlyn, the month would be a happy one. It seemed strange to think of it that way, but he was willing to spend the month as best he could and whatever the Maker had for him after that would have to be enough.
--
They were going to have a private, outdoor lunch, just like a pair of indolent nobles courting one another, an echo of how huntsmen or farmers would eat in the middle of the day but without the same weight of work on them. It made her want to laugh. It made her want to turn him down, to take him aside and point out the ridiculousness of what they were doing. She was grateful for the respite in the tension between them, more than grateful, but the constant up and down of their regard for one another was exhausting. They truly were two fools playing at whatever their relationship was.
But somehow, that made her feel more than good.
The sun was past its highest point as she left town, the day entering its hottest period, but there was a breeze that must have originated from the Frostbacks for all its welcome chill. There was nobody in the fields, everybody having gone inside to eat or to rest out of the sun, and the momentary peace helped her resettle herself after her talk with Oswin. She couldn't shake the feeling that the son, Owen, was important- but she hadn't been able to ask more, like if he was literate or had picked up any Orlesian from working with Èdouard, and Oswin had been convinced that Owen's infatuation with Edlyn was gone and past.
And Oswin was an observant man.
She and Calenhad drew up on the willows, and she dismounted. She removed his bit and let him wander, grazing, while she went into the trees to find the water they grew around. After splashing her face at the cool, murmuring little stream, she moved back into the sunlight and settled down.
There were other animals in the common field, some cattle, some goats, all belonging to the people of the town who had no land of their own to keep their animals on during the day. She watched them move.
She found herself smiling, remembering her old life. She had never been quite like how Oswin had described Edlyn, head-in-the-clouds, but she had looked at the horizon and wondered about other places. She'd taken the opportunity to get out of her life when it was presented to her, instead of staying to marry another local boy and have five children and a small farm.
Cauthrien shed her arming jacket, boots, and socks, lounging back in the grass. She very rarely let herself think of what her life would have been like, had she stayed in her little village by the Hafter River - of what she had, in a way, given up. Children weren't one of those things, given her barren womb, but there had been so much else...
She pushed herself up onto her elbows when she heard hoofbeats in the grass, and lifted an arm to hail Teagan. Calenhad had wandered into the willows; she could hear him, the snapping of fallen branches beneath his hooves, his irritated snort whenever he got himself a bit tangled.
It was- pleasant.
Teagan waved in response on his approach and when he was close, dismounted and let his horse wander on it’s own as hers did. He brought a bundle of food to her and laid it on the ground nearby.
With a grin, he leaned down and stole a kiss from her cheek before sitting down next to her. “I hope you weren’t waiting too long. I made several stops-”
She touched her face where his lips had been, cheeks colored. She leaned forward as he started to unwrap the food to show her his purchases. He smiled at her. “Bread, fruit, cheese- not exactly like eating at my table but good enough for a pleasant outdoor lunch by the water?”
She shook her head, smiling faintly. "You went out of your way. You're spoiling me. Bread and water would have been more than enough, you know."
With a shake of his head, he said, “I want to do it.” After a moment he shrugged and reached out for the hand she still touched to her face, lacing his fingers around hers, pulling them away. With his free hand, he finished unwrapping the food and picked out a berry for himself.
She looked down to where their hands were joined and hesitated a moment before she leaned towards him to tear off a hunk of bread.
"Even after last night's- awkwardness?"
A mild way to put it; she was learning, around him, to phrase things lightly, to avoid the stark reality when both parties knew what it was without speaking.
With a nod he popped the berry into his mouth. “Even still. We’re due a nice, discreet meal.” His lips twitched up into another smile and he quirked an eyebrow at her as he reached down for another berry. His eyes scanned the length of her body, and then he pursed his lips, head tilted as his gaze carried the rest of the way up to meet hers.
She finished off the morsel of bread, but paused before reaching for some of the cheese. She looked down to their hands again, and frowned. "... We are," she agreed. "But you don't need to win me back with gifts, you know."
That accusing tone of voice she had used so often when commenting on his decisions was absent, and she glanced back up to him nervously. She appreciated the lunch, she did, but she also remembered times when her discontent was rewarded with gifts she could not turn down: confidences, an inspection of her men that left her preening with pride, a sword won by Loghain during the war to push out the Orlesians-
His easy smile fell a little. Without any of the playfulness that had been there a moment before, he said, “This is not about trying to win you- to buy your affections. This is about sharing a nice lunch. About showing you-” he paused and broke the silence for moment by reaching for more food. “Showing you-”
She opened her mouth to speak, then reached for a berry instead.
And offered it to him.
That was something that she hadn't done before, that made this not a moment of him offering a prize and her thanking him for it. No, if he said this was just so he could share lunch with her, then she would share lunch with him.
"Showing me what?" she asked.
He looked at the proffered berry and leaned down to eat it from her hand. She had thought he would take it from her with his fingers, not his lips, and the soft, smooth touch of his mouth to her fingers made her shiver before she could stop herself, drew a quiet, surprised noise from her.
She could barely meet his eyes as he pulled back, preferring to look at him through her lashes rather than straight on. She reached for more food for herself, sitting up fully, her posture becoming more guarded.
With another shrug he started again. “It’s not about buying your affections. It's about showing you- mine.” He flushed at the words and looked away, catching his lower lip for just a moment between his teeth.
"I- you're quite good at showing yours," she assured him, then took a nibble of cheese and reached for the waterskin. "I haven't been in much doubt of them."
“And yet? Does it make you nervous-” his hand turned in a vague gesture, “more than the political possibilities?” He looked back up to her face, hopes and nerves wrapped up into his parted lips, his creased brow.
"... Yes?" She smiled, though, instead of frowning. She shifted again and ran one finger along his where their hands were still joined. "I've told you before- Loghain was not like this. And before that, there- wasn't anything."
This was new. Confusing. Intoxicating, too, and she carefully settled back down next to him, closer than before.
"It's like you're-" Courting? Romancing? Flattering? She didn't know what word to use. "It's like I'm still a farmer's daughter, in that respect."
--
“And would you like me to stop?”
He asked it with a coy tilt of his head to look at her better. Even if they were actually close in age, she had often seemed young to him. The thought of her having not been courted by anyone gave him pause. They had moved quickly. But despite their hiccups, the misunderstandings and conflicts, the speed was not what bothered her.
It was the tenderness.
It was the tenderness, the romance of it that made her nervous. He grinned at the thought. But romance was where he felt more at ease, where he could be playful and test boundaries and personalities.
“I will admit to being out of practice myself,” he said with a soft smile. He was tempted, very tempted, to lean into her neck, to pause the conversation entirely for something more immediate. But it was obvious this was something they needed to work out, so he held off and added, “But, I’ll stop if you ask.”
After a moment's hesitation, she said, "I- should want you to stop. But I don't."
She returned his smile with another tentative one of her own before reaching for another piece of bread, pinching it and a slice of cheese between her thumb and forefinger. She paused just a moment before bringing it back to her lips.
"It's... nice," Cauthrien confessed.
“I am very glad to hear you say so,” he said, squeezing her hand in return and running his thumb across her fingers. Once he finished the piece of bread he had broken off for himself, he reached down for another berry. This time, instead of bringing it to his own lips, he held it up to hers. “I would have stopped, but I really didn’t want to.”
That earned him a small laugh, and she carefully took the berry, her lips brushing lightly over his fingers. She pulled the berry free of his grip with a light swipe of her tongue, then sat back.
"I could tell," she assured him again. "I may not understand the why of whatever you do, but I can see what you do clearly enough."
He also laughed, but it was a small breathy thing as he pulled his fingers away from her. Without another hesitation, he leaned into her then, turning enough so that he could kiss her neck just below her ear. After a second kiss he whispered, “I hope that soon enough you’ll see both.”
She whispered, voice strained, a murmur of, "Discretion," but then her free hand reached across between them to come to rest on his hip, her eyes going half-lidded as she bit at her lower lip, restraining a quiet, pleased sigh. She tugged him closer, looking down at him as she shivered.
They were outside, near enough to town that a part of him thought to pull away to regain some of her well-reminded discretion. But the rest of him was eager to finish something they had started once already; to be stymied again felt like it might be too much.
He smiled against her neck but did not pull away, only lifting his head long enough to find her lips. His free had reached up, thumb on her neck, his fingers wrapping up behind her head as he kissed her. After a moment, he moved again, tilting her head with his hand so he could leave kisses on her throat.
Fingers itching to touch, he extricated his other hand from hers and lifted it to tug her tunic from her shoulder just a little, so he could kiss the skin below. It drew a strangled sigh from her and a breathed, "Maker, what are you doing-"
Her question barely registered and he didn't pull away. Instead, he let his tongue slide along her collarbone. Possessed with the urge to leave a visible sign on her skin, he leaned in and nibbled lightly. He added the tiniest bit of pressure with his teeth and lips and then with a small flick of his tongue, he pulled away.
His hand fell away from her shoulder, letting her tunic slide back into place and he let his gaze come back up to meet hers with a broad smile, his braid having fallen forward from his ear.
Cauthrien's arm, supporting her weight, trembled as she looked at him curiously, skin flushed and lips slightly parted. "Are you trying to leave marks?" she asked, finally, pulling her hand from his hip to rub at where he'd pressed his lips. "You are, aren't you?"
Blue eyes flashed in accompaniment with his laugh and he leaned in to quiet her with a kiss. It was gentle and as he pulled away again, slowly this time, he whispered, “I might be”.
And then in a tone that implied innocence he added, “I was however very discreet, as you, dear lady, have warned me about.” He thumbed at the edge of her tunic again and pulled it away so he could see the shallow indentations his teeth had left, still red from only moments before.
When his hand fell away he said with a tone of importance and satisfaction, “It is very well hidden.”
She blushed more brightly still at that. "I- yes, it is. Nobody will see it." She sat up again, and for a moment he feared that she would put distance between them to still any further desires. But she only moved to his other side, removing the possibility that they might crush the remaining food. Absently, she touched at her shoulder again.
He smiled, then leaned in to the side she wasn’t paying attention to. Once more he reached up to pull at her tunic, finding her collar and moving it enough to give him access to her shoulder. He kissed at her neck again, but with less preamble than he had on the other side.
He tried to find the matching spot on her other shoulder, licking, kissing, and then nibbling there, too. Again, it was gentle, knowing he would leave only shallow marks - but marks nonetheless, on her skin where he had been. The thought made him smile again as he pulled back once more.
When she looked at him, he shrugged and narrowed his eyes in playful consideration. “It was uneven. Now, it’s not.” He let his hand fall to her back and pulled her in close.
"Uneven," she said, dryly, voice gone a bit hoarse. She swallowed and licked at her lips, then shifted so that her legs were against his.
He nodded again. “Oh yes, uneven.”
"I'm not entirely sure why you want them there in the first place," she said, fingers settling loosely around the base of her throat.
One of his arms was was propped behind him, but still Teagan tried to give a vague gesture with both. Even he wasn’t sure exactly why he felt like he needed them there, but the giving of them had been very nice. And once given, the knowledge that they were there- well, that was another pleasant feeling in itself, one of possession. There was something about her neck, her hair pulled up and away, that was incredibly appealing to him. After that morning, he wanted his lips against it- he wanted signs of his passing when she had to go elsewhere.
With a shake of his head, he added, “Just felt like it needed doing. And I don’t think I’m very sorry for having done it.” He eyed her curiously for a moment. “Unless you don’t like them?”
He didn’t look up at her as he waited for her answer, but he still caught the barest hint of her shaking her head. His eyes instead focused on the curve of her shoulder, pale and firm. Maker, the slightest hint of her skin could drive him as mad as the thought of courting her properly.
Teagan only looked up as she shifted, moving to throw a leg over his and straddle him. "I don't mind them, certainly," Cauthrien said, looking down at him curiously. "Though I can't do much in response."
“Oh, I don’t know about that,” he said as he gazed up at her.
After a moment he turned his attention back to her arm, leaning in to kiss the outside of her shoulder. It was simple, gentle and he didn’t nip at her at all. When he lifted away again he was still smiling. No marks; just taste.
Teagan's hands settled on her thighs, her hips, helping her to settle in his lap while she rested her hands on his shoulders. She wasn't straddling his hips like she had the other night, but she was close enough to lean in, eyes narrowed, and kiss him. It started off gentle but turned forceful by degrees. First, a light nip at his lip, followed by a harder one, followed by the intrusion of her tongue. Her hands on his shoulders tightened, then pressed, urging him to lie back.
She exerted force but not necessity as she broke the kiss and dropped her head to kiss at his throat just as he had at hers. He sighed and inhaled shakily, tilting his chin back. She was warm and heavy against him, her lips sliding over his pulse.
When she nipped, it was higher up, at a spot not quite covered by his collar, and he laughed. There was a piece of him that recognized exactly what she was doing, bold and brazed and blunt as always, and he grinned. “See, I knew you would think of something,” he said.
His words were breathy and on the edge of being just sighs, but she responded to them, pulling away and letting her hands slide from his shoulders. She braced them against the ground instead to keep herself from placing too much weight onto him. And there she hesitated, taking a deep breath and staring at her, pupils gone wide with want but mouth tensed in thought.
He counted heartbeats until she moved again.
She bent again to kiss - lightly, this time - at his jaw, all the way to his ear. Once there, she murmured quietly, "We have work to do." But she didn't attempt to sit up again.
He reached a hand up to her face, thumbed over her cheek and over her ear. He tried to nod, though it was difficult against the ground. “Yes, we do have work that needs doing.”
But she didn't move, and he couldn't find the will to press her away. Instead, he nuzzled against her as she kissed his throat again, waited until he could lift his head enough to kiss her back. When he laid his head back on the ground, he sighed.
There were things to do, though. She was right. And if they weren't going to disentangle, they could at least speak.
“We didn’t really finish lunch either... or- talk much.”
--
"No. We didn't."
Cauthrien took another deep breath, trying to focus. Her lips sang from their kisses and her belly throbbed with barely restrained want, and it was a trial to ignore how he looked up at her, how his skin colored pink where she had nipped, how his lips parted as he drew breath.
But with space and air, the need to mark him in turn began to fade. She mastered herself once more and settled down against his side, one leg still over his but with none of the same intensity. Her breathing was still shallow, quick, and her lips ached to seek out his skin again, but she tried to focus.
Oswin. The butcher. His son.
"Oswin's son," she said, frowning faintly, putting one word after the other, "once fell in love with Edlyn, but Oswin said he had warned him off of her. The boy wasn't around to talk to, though."
It had seemed more important, more obvious at the time, but there in the grass with Teagan, she was hard-pressed to remember how it fit in. "Oswin was also very clear that Èdouard wasn't interested in Edlyn."
He slid his hand over to find hers. “Èdouard didn’t have much else to say, really. I did ask him about his term for Edlyn.” He turned his head to look at Cauthrien. “Little flower? He claims it was only a nickname, the first thing he taught her in Orlesian.
“What about Èdouard’s abilities- the goat? Did you ask Oswin about that?” he continued.
Cauthrien hummed low in her throat. "I asked what Èdouard did around the shop, if he ever helped out in the yard. Oswin said he has a weak stomach, and that he mostly takes care of things like making the sausages and preserved meats. I'm... not entirely sure that Èdouard could do what we saw."
She thought of the goat, strangled and then bled out, and frowned.
"Owen, Oswin's boy, was working yesterday - bringing in a goat that apparently escaped him on the way to town. And now he's out of town again, heading over to Hertwig for his father."
“Any idea when the boy will be back? I would hope we could find Edlyn before he returns, especially if they're friends.” He squeezed her hand at the thought and then rolled his head back and looked at the sky.
"He's just out picking up a shipment of salt. At most, he should be back before the week is out."
Teagan leaned into Cauthrien, tilting his head against hers and squeezing her hand again. “If Èdouard is innocent... there’s either someone in town that knows Orlesian that we don’t know about, or there’s something we’re missing...” He let the thought linger for a moment with another sigh.
"It's... always possible," she said, continuing slowly, "that somebody had Èdouard write the letter for them. It doesn't really seem like his writing - close, but not quite, not genuine. And it's also possible that Edlyn wanted to go. The dead goat suggests she's alive and maybe even completely unharmed."
Cauthrien frowned.
Then sat up, abruptly.
"There is somebody else who knows Orlesian- Edlyn."
“You’re right,” he said. Also frowning, he pushed himself up to look at Cauthrien. “Did someone make her write it, you think?” Teagan leaned forward and folded his legs up close to him, laying his arms across them thoughtfully. “If she wrote it, do you think she planned for it to look as though Èdouard had written it?” He shook his head even as he said the words. “Probably not, hm? More likely it sounds like Èdouard because he taught her, yes?”
"That's- possible, though. Somebody who wanted to discredit Èdouard. I'd say that if Edlyn wrote the letter, it would only sound like Èdouard's writing because he taught her, but little flower- That, at least, was deliberate. And it was written in Orlesian, so it was at least meant to look as if it were written by an Orlesian man.
"But from all accounts, Edlyn didn't dislike Èdouard. I can't imagine why she'd choose to make it look like his doing."
Cauthrien rose, walking over to the willows absently, covering ground to help her think. "But she's the only other person who could have written it, who would have known that endearment. The letter- it's either written by her or by Èdouard, and I'm starting to think it's the girl. The goat- a faked death- and this letter...
"And she had reason to want to disappear."
“The betrothal. If she was as upset as Èdouard says, she would have wanted to leave. But someone helped her, with the goat if nothing else...”
He sighed. “We should still tell Edlyn’s parents that we think she’s alive. But after that, what?” He pushed himself off the ground and walked over to Cauthrien, arms folded across his chest. “I could send out a few men to search for her-”
She remembered back to her daydreams, her thoughts about what her life would have been. "And if they find her? Do we bring her back to a marriage she clearly doesn't want? That goat didn't belong to her family- she killed somebody else's livestock for the chance to escape. Or had it killed.
"And she'd know the potential consequences for it."
Cauthrien turned and paced back in Teagan's direction. "And we have no idea where she might have h-"
Cauthrien froze, then turned to look at Teagan. "She's headed for Gherlen's Pass. Either that or up towards West Hill- she's making for Orlais."
“She has a head start but I can have men sent out to look.” He shook his head. “But do I have her brought home?” There was concern in his expression, his brow arched with the question.
He looked at Cauthrien. “You’re right- about what she faces if she comes back, but I can’t leave her out there alone, can I? We don’t know who might be with her. Or even if there’s something more sinister to it all-” The word trailed off as he looked the ground, scuffed at it with a shoe as he thought.
Her expression tight, she nodded again. "And there's still Blight in that area- tainted wolves and bears and other creatures. She would be in danger even during peacetime, but the Wardens haven't cleared that part of Ferelden yet. Even if she's safe, or with somebody she'd like to be with..."
Cauthrien pursed her lips, resuming her pacing for just a moment before she stopped. She turned to look at him, jaw tense.
"And then," she said, slowly, "there's the matter of Oswin's boy. He had feelings for her at some point recently, and managed to lose a goat. A wether. Maybe we should go back to Edlyn's lands and check the carcass. Because if it's the same goat, we might know who helped her."
Teagan nodded. “We’ll go back to the farm as we intended. We’ll tell her parents what we think and we’ll take another look at the goat." He went back to their food, crouching and starting to wrap everything back up. “When we get back to the estate, I’ll have men sent out to search for her- and, potentially, Oswin’s boy. If they find them, they can be brought back home.” He stood, grabbed the food and said, “We should gather our horses and get to the farm before it gets much later.”
"Even if Owen didn't run away with her, he might still be responsible for helping her escape. Send some men to Hertwig to see if he ever reached it. He'll have a cart, probably ox-drawn, to help bring back the salt... if he's there at all."
She sighed, shaking her head, then whistled a sharp series of trills. Calenhad poked his head from the willows a moment later, then came back to her at a slow plod while she bent and began pulling her discarded clothing back on. "I still think it's best if you tell the parents alone; Oswin did not appreciate me being in his store today, and there are already rumors, apparently, that you listen to me too much."
He shook his head as he packed the food away on his horse. “No, I meant what I said earlier. It’ll be good for them to see you helping. They don’t have to like it and you don’t even have to talk, but I want you there.” His tone was almost forceful and definitely noble, it didn’t have any of the tenderness left from before.
It made her believe him.
He swung up onto his horse and waited for Cauthrien to finish dressing, and her fingers worked quickly at toggles and laces. She pursed her lips, taking a deep breath. It still wasn't a good idea, of that she was sure. But she would let him see that- and hope, quietly, that he was somehow right.
Fastening up her arming jacket and hiding away the last of the marks he had left, she smiled up at him. "Very well. But you do the talking. I'll only put my foot in my mouth - it's a soldier's prerogative when trying to be diplomatic, I think."
With that, she mounted her horse and settled herself. "Lead on."
--
It was near evening by the time they made it back to the estate. The meeting with Edlyn’s parents had been difficult. He had insisted that Cauthrien stay with him, even if she opted not to stand directly next to him as they shared what their investigation thus far had elicited, and her words had been stilted and met with stony silence or wordless sounds of assent or displeasure. He could see the tension in her shoulders as he led them into the stables, dismounting near the entrance and walking his horse the rest of the way, with a soft hand on its muzzle.
Edlyn’s parents, though distrustful of Cauthrien, had listened and indeed been relieved at the thought that Edlyn might still be alive. Only missing. They had no idea where she might have gone, giving him and Cauthrien the same tales of Edlyn as the head-in-the-clouds type of girl that might have well gone towards Orlais if she thought she could get there.
Teagan shook his head as he led his horse and spared a glance at Cauthrien. He was thankful for her help, for standing nearby, even if she hadn’t wanted to. Things like this would never be easy. After the war, he had explained to too many people that their husbands or sons had died. He had made himself attend services for those fallen during the fires, or for a dozen other reasons caused by the war- or the Blight. Explaining to a family that their young daughter was missing - that she might now still be in danger - it was harder still than any of that.
If he and Cauthrien had aligned themselves differently during her stay in Rainesfere, he might have been the sort of man that thought she deserved to see what that family was going through. It wasn’t men lost at Ostagar; it was just a family (could have been any family, could have been her family) dealing with the possible loss of their daughter. But the parallels were similar enough, people lost for no reason, people lost possibly because of the actions of far away generals and queens. Edlyn’s family was still suffering from the war, still rebuilding - and now this.
Teagan wasn’t that man and was instead thankful she had been there for support, and more still he wished that it hadn’t been necessary at all.
He gave her a tenuous smile. “Thank you for coming with me. I know you didn’t want to. But I appreciate it.”
She looked up from where she was running a brush over Calenhad's flank. "It didn't go as poorly as I thought it would. They only remembered to glare at me for the first five minutes." She smiled, thinly, then patted Calenhad on the rump and moved to put her things away.
With a sigh she continued, "Though I wish we had had more to offer them."
They hadn't been able to tell Edlyn's family about the goat - a wether indeed - and its connection to the butcher's boy. They didn't know enough yet. They had left it at gone, but probably not dead, and we have a few leads.
But the goat had been a wether and they needed to know whether Owen was on the road back to Rainsfere or not.
He came back to himself at the creak of wood as she leaned against the stable wall. "Will the guard set out tonight, or wait until daybreak?"
Teagan shrugged and let out a deep breath. “It’s getting late, but I also know we’ve lost so much time already.” He swallowed and looked at Cauthrien, taking a few steps back from his horse. “If we wait until morning, that’s more time they’ve lost.”
The words tumbled out before he could stop himself and he flushed red. His jaw tensed and he looked back to his horse. We.
He swallowed and bowed his head. He wasn’t embarrassed but it was only then dawning how close he already thought them. Courting, marking- working together. Trusting. There was a flutter of uncertainty in his gut and he forced himself to look back at her, as if nothing had happened. As if there wasn’t anything to be made of it. Before, he had been planning to ask her opinion. Now, he hesitated.
“How far do you think a girl or even two people could have gotten on their own? On foot?” he finally asked, searching her face as she spoke for any hint of confusion or displeasure- or, Maker keep him, pleasure.
She didn't seem to notice the slip one way or the other.
She nodded, coming around to his stall, standing at the exit and waiting with her shoulder braced against the wall. "Since yesterday? It depends on... a lot. But at most- if she or they were both used to walking, and were bringing food with them, given how the land lies in this area if they were heading west?"
Cauthrien pursed her lips, fingers tapping on her hip. "Fifteen miles. They're not soldiers used to marching with fifty-pound packs, after all. Or at least, she isn't. I doubt they would move at night. Your men could cover a lot of ground, but without light to look for tracks by, if they've left the main road, it may only waste their energy. My suggestion would be to have them prepare tonight and be ready to move just before dawn. We lose the least time that way.
"Would you like me to accompany them at all...?"
He nodded as Cauthrien spoke, still not quite looking at her. “Morning seems best,” he agreed, then took a deep breath and met her eyes. “But I don’t think you need to go with them.”
He really didn’t want her to go. If he was going to get a quiet night at home after this day, he wanted her there, at least until dawn. It also didn’t seem particularly necessary- his men could handle it, and he wasn’t sure how they would feel riding with Cauthrien, even under his orders.
“Unless you want to?” he asked hesitantly. He stepped passed her out of the stall. There was some confidence in him again and his face no longer felt so warm. Still, he swallowed nervously as he looked to her.
She hesitated a moment, then shook her head. "No," she said, quietly, a little sheepishly, as she rubbed at her shoulder where she knew his marks still rested. Her eyes went from his face to his neck where she could see still the slight darkening of skin she'd left.
"I would go if you thought it best, but- I would be more glad to stay."
With him.
He was glad to hear it.
She glanced away, taking a deep breath and straightening, pushing away from the stall.
“Then let’s get back up to the house. I’ll send out the orders and we can have... dinner?” There was a grin for her then. Wine, perhaps? was on his lips but he kept the words back.
With small chuckle to himself he looked at her and then headed towards the path. And then her own small voice played in his head- her damned ‘discretion’, which made him laugh just a little louder.
“Do you want to walk with me to the house?” he asked, head tilted and a brow arched as he grinned.
She rubbed at her shoulder again, a faint smile on her lips.
"All of Rainsfere has seen me walking places with you by now, I think," she said, following - but not as far behind as she usually did, walking almost abreast with him. "A stroll up to dinner won't add too much fuel to the fire."
Authors: cherith & serindrana
Game: Dragon Age: Origins
Pairing: Bann Teagan/Ser Cauthrien
Series Rating: NC-17
Chapter Rating: T
Series Wordcount (to date): 66,366
Chapter Wordcount: 7,403
Warnings: None
Summary: A late summer picnic gives occasion for Teagan to practice symmetry and discretion- and Cauthrien to try valiantly to keep them both on task. (Ao3) (FF)
Notes: War is Never Cheap Here will be updating weekly, on Fridays. Projected length looking like twelve chapters.
Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12
Chapter Eight
Teagan watched as Cauthrien left the butcher’s shop. She moved with quick, angry strides and jerked Calenhad's lead as she worked at unhitching the garron. His own conversation with Èdouard had been mostly fruitless, and it didn't look as if she had better news.
With a quicker pace for both he and his horse, he closed the distance between them, calling out a ‘hello’ with another wave. After this morning, he was ready to get another moment alone with Cauthrien. Not there in the street, but he tried to think of where they could go to talk, to be away from the town and his estate, provided she had only frustration from her meeting with the butcher and not have pressing news.
She straightened up and looked to him, nodding. Her expression was tight, though, and his hopes faltered before he decided to simply press forward.
He watched her with a clear smile while he approached, and when he was near enough, he asked, “Learn anything useful?” And then, before she could answer, he followed it with, “And do we have time for lunch?”
It took a moment for Cauthrien to respond, but when she did, her voice was even and almost relieved. "Some useful, yes. A lot confusing. I- yes, lunch sounds wonderful, but what about talking to Edlyn's family...?"
“I was thinking,” Teagan said stretching his words out playfully, hoping she would respond in kind, “that we could have a nice lunch, discuss what we’ve learned, and what to tell Edlyn’s parents.”
A little time and distance from Cauthrien, brief as it had been, made him only happy to see her, even under their current circumstances. Her letter to Anora was forgotten and he looked forward to sitting somewhere with her, even if just for a little while.
“We don’t need to go back to the estate. We can find something from town to eat and perhaps ride a ways? Find a place between here and the farm to sit and eat?”
Cauthrien hesitated again, looking down and letting go of the knot that she had been undoing. "That sounds nice," she finally said, tight smile turning somewhat embarrassed. "... Oswin sells what looks like good sausage. I was going to pick some up for your kitchens, actually. Though if we want any, it'd be best if you went in. And were prepared for some pointed looks."
“I think we can manage.” He shook his head. That seemed too awkward. “To go in so soon after your questions- no, it would seem odd. Perhaps it would be best to give it some time and find something else to eat.”
He eyed her curiously for a moment, wondering if she would explain where the tension in her shoulders came from. “Unless I need to go in? Was it- was he not forthcoming?”
"No, I just pushed too hard and he- kicked me out." She flushed a little. "He's certain that Èdouard isn't involved in Edlyn's disappearance, so my questions didn't go over well. Still- I may have learned something interesting. I'll tell you late-"
Calenhad danced back sharply. He had managed to undo the knot that Cauthrien had loosened, and the soldier swore under her breath and moved to catch hold of his bridle.
He watched her horse start and grinned as she reached after him. “Perhaps we should get that food before these two stage a revolt. A nice field should suit them, and us.”
She laughed as she gave Calenhad's bridle a sharp pull. "Shall we eat grass as well, then?" she asked, before turning to look at Calenhad. She shook her head and frowned slightly, and the horse stamped his front hoof, impatiently. With a sigh she let go, only to swing herself onto his back.
Teagan let out a laugh and then swung up on his own horse. “No, I don’t think we’ll get much nourishment that way. But I think there’s a place down the way here where we could grab something-” He waved a hand towards the other end of the road and nudged his horse forward. “I can go in and get something for us both.”
"Bann Teagan, doing the day's shopping," she said, dryly, but the smile she sent him next was more relieved than any of her others had been. "On the way in I saw in one of the common fields a small grove of willows- we can meet there." Her words were a little hurried and though she was smiling, her eyes slid from him when he tried to catch her gaze.
She seemed nervous, maybe realizing what he was getting at- a nice meal, just the two of them, away from prying eyes. He laughed.
“You go on ahead then,” he said. “I’ll do the shopping.”
He negotiated his horse around towards the shop he had indicated earlier. And then, after giving her another grin, eyes twinkling, he nudged his horse forward down the road. Behind him he heard her murmur soft to her horse, and then the answering cadence of hooves on packed dirt as she headed out of town.
As he approached the building - a bakery, from the sign hanging outside - and dismounted, he wondered about what exactly he should pick them up for lunch. He wanted something light, simple, but he was making a gesture-
This was not treating her like a guest, or a hand of the Queen, this was courting. It was something Teagan hadn’t tried to do in a very long time, even with his interest in the Warden-Commander. He hitched his horse to the nearby rail and thought about what that meant. He hadn’t exactly been courting the Lady Cousland, merely... expressing an interest. One he had only begun to learn wasn’t really mutual.
With Cauthrien, it was different- much different. Still, they had less than a month-
Maker.
He pulled open the door to the baker’s and wondered what he was doing. What was he really doing, playing this game - a very potentially politically volatile game - and did that matter to him at all?
Ignoring the sideways glances and soft whispers behind lifted hands, he made his purchase and left the shop, still lost in thought. After facing down Cauthrien’s sword, she had followed him home. That meant something more to him- perhaps more than a month was going to provide them. He had never thought that way before, and it left him nervous and uncomfortable.
Teagan led his horse, walking instead of riding down the road and around to the main square. A vendor there had fresh fruits available and he was grateful for the good weather that provided their availability. On his way back out of town, he stopped a last time, stepping into a shop to buy some cheese. He was more aware this time and tried to to appear polite, smiling and nodding to those that stared at him.
When he was done, he made sure everything was wrapped and stored securely before swinging back up on his horse. On the ride out of town and towards Cauthrien, he tried to force everything out of his mind. Whatever it was between them, he wanted the time they had to be more pleasant- to keep from repeating the same up and down cycle they had been facing the past few days. If they could do that and figure out what had happened to Edlyn, the month would be a happy one. It seemed strange to think of it that way, but he was willing to spend the month as best he could and whatever the Maker had for him after that would have to be enough.
--
They were going to have a private, outdoor lunch, just like a pair of indolent nobles courting one another, an echo of how huntsmen or farmers would eat in the middle of the day but without the same weight of work on them. It made her want to laugh. It made her want to turn him down, to take him aside and point out the ridiculousness of what they were doing. She was grateful for the respite in the tension between them, more than grateful, but the constant up and down of their regard for one another was exhausting. They truly were two fools playing at whatever their relationship was.
But somehow, that made her feel more than good.
The sun was past its highest point as she left town, the day entering its hottest period, but there was a breeze that must have originated from the Frostbacks for all its welcome chill. There was nobody in the fields, everybody having gone inside to eat or to rest out of the sun, and the momentary peace helped her resettle herself after her talk with Oswin. She couldn't shake the feeling that the son, Owen, was important- but she hadn't been able to ask more, like if he was literate or had picked up any Orlesian from working with Èdouard, and Oswin had been convinced that Owen's infatuation with Edlyn was gone and past.
And Oswin was an observant man.
She and Calenhad drew up on the willows, and she dismounted. She removed his bit and let him wander, grazing, while she went into the trees to find the water they grew around. After splashing her face at the cool, murmuring little stream, she moved back into the sunlight and settled down.
There were other animals in the common field, some cattle, some goats, all belonging to the people of the town who had no land of their own to keep their animals on during the day. She watched them move.
She found herself smiling, remembering her old life. She had never been quite like how Oswin had described Edlyn, head-in-the-clouds, but she had looked at the horizon and wondered about other places. She'd taken the opportunity to get out of her life when it was presented to her, instead of staying to marry another local boy and have five children and a small farm.
Cauthrien shed her arming jacket, boots, and socks, lounging back in the grass. She very rarely let herself think of what her life would have been like, had she stayed in her little village by the Hafter River - of what she had, in a way, given up. Children weren't one of those things, given her barren womb, but there had been so much else...
She pushed herself up onto her elbows when she heard hoofbeats in the grass, and lifted an arm to hail Teagan. Calenhad had wandered into the willows; she could hear him, the snapping of fallen branches beneath his hooves, his irritated snort whenever he got himself a bit tangled.
It was- pleasant.
Teagan waved in response on his approach and when he was close, dismounted and let his horse wander on it’s own as hers did. He brought a bundle of food to her and laid it on the ground nearby.
With a grin, he leaned down and stole a kiss from her cheek before sitting down next to her. “I hope you weren’t waiting too long. I made several stops-”
She touched her face where his lips had been, cheeks colored. She leaned forward as he started to unwrap the food to show her his purchases. He smiled at her. “Bread, fruit, cheese- not exactly like eating at my table but good enough for a pleasant outdoor lunch by the water?”
She shook her head, smiling faintly. "You went out of your way. You're spoiling me. Bread and water would have been more than enough, you know."
With a shake of his head, he said, “I want to do it.” After a moment he shrugged and reached out for the hand she still touched to her face, lacing his fingers around hers, pulling them away. With his free hand, he finished unwrapping the food and picked out a berry for himself.
She looked down to where their hands were joined and hesitated a moment before she leaned towards him to tear off a hunk of bread.
"Even after last night's- awkwardness?"
A mild way to put it; she was learning, around him, to phrase things lightly, to avoid the stark reality when both parties knew what it was without speaking.
With a nod he popped the berry into his mouth. “Even still. We’re due a nice, discreet meal.” His lips twitched up into another smile and he quirked an eyebrow at her as he reached down for another berry. His eyes scanned the length of her body, and then he pursed his lips, head tilted as his gaze carried the rest of the way up to meet hers.
She finished off the morsel of bread, but paused before reaching for some of the cheese. She looked down to their hands again, and frowned. "... We are," she agreed. "But you don't need to win me back with gifts, you know."
That accusing tone of voice she had used so often when commenting on his decisions was absent, and she glanced back up to him nervously. She appreciated the lunch, she did, but she also remembered times when her discontent was rewarded with gifts she could not turn down: confidences, an inspection of her men that left her preening with pride, a sword won by Loghain during the war to push out the Orlesians-
His easy smile fell a little. Without any of the playfulness that had been there a moment before, he said, “This is not about trying to win you- to buy your affections. This is about sharing a nice lunch. About showing you-” he paused and broke the silence for moment by reaching for more food. “Showing you-”
She opened her mouth to speak, then reached for a berry instead.
And offered it to him.
That was something that she hadn't done before, that made this not a moment of him offering a prize and her thanking him for it. No, if he said this was just so he could share lunch with her, then she would share lunch with him.
"Showing me what?" she asked.
He looked at the proffered berry and leaned down to eat it from her hand. She had thought he would take it from her with his fingers, not his lips, and the soft, smooth touch of his mouth to her fingers made her shiver before she could stop herself, drew a quiet, surprised noise from her.
She could barely meet his eyes as he pulled back, preferring to look at him through her lashes rather than straight on. She reached for more food for herself, sitting up fully, her posture becoming more guarded.
With another shrug he started again. “It’s not about buying your affections. It's about showing you- mine.” He flushed at the words and looked away, catching his lower lip for just a moment between his teeth.
"I- you're quite good at showing yours," she assured him, then took a nibble of cheese and reached for the waterskin. "I haven't been in much doubt of them."
“And yet? Does it make you nervous-” his hand turned in a vague gesture, “more than the political possibilities?” He looked back up to her face, hopes and nerves wrapped up into his parted lips, his creased brow.
"... Yes?" She smiled, though, instead of frowning. She shifted again and ran one finger along his where their hands were still joined. "I've told you before- Loghain was not like this. And before that, there- wasn't anything."
This was new. Confusing. Intoxicating, too, and she carefully settled back down next to him, closer than before.
"It's like you're-" Courting? Romancing? Flattering? She didn't know what word to use. "It's like I'm still a farmer's daughter, in that respect."
--
“And would you like me to stop?”
He asked it with a coy tilt of his head to look at her better. Even if they were actually close in age, she had often seemed young to him. The thought of her having not been courted by anyone gave him pause. They had moved quickly. But despite their hiccups, the misunderstandings and conflicts, the speed was not what bothered her.
It was the tenderness.
It was the tenderness, the romance of it that made her nervous. He grinned at the thought. But romance was where he felt more at ease, where he could be playful and test boundaries and personalities.
“I will admit to being out of practice myself,” he said with a soft smile. He was tempted, very tempted, to lean into her neck, to pause the conversation entirely for something more immediate. But it was obvious this was something they needed to work out, so he held off and added, “But, I’ll stop if you ask.”
After a moment's hesitation, she said, "I- should want you to stop. But I don't."
She returned his smile with another tentative one of her own before reaching for another piece of bread, pinching it and a slice of cheese between her thumb and forefinger. She paused just a moment before bringing it back to her lips.
"It's... nice," Cauthrien confessed.
“I am very glad to hear you say so,” he said, squeezing her hand in return and running his thumb across her fingers. Once he finished the piece of bread he had broken off for himself, he reached down for another berry. This time, instead of bringing it to his own lips, he held it up to hers. “I would have stopped, but I really didn’t want to.”
That earned him a small laugh, and she carefully took the berry, her lips brushing lightly over his fingers. She pulled the berry free of his grip with a light swipe of her tongue, then sat back.
"I could tell," she assured him again. "I may not understand the why of whatever you do, but I can see what you do clearly enough."
He also laughed, but it was a small breathy thing as he pulled his fingers away from her. Without another hesitation, he leaned into her then, turning enough so that he could kiss her neck just below her ear. After a second kiss he whispered, “I hope that soon enough you’ll see both.”
She whispered, voice strained, a murmur of, "Discretion," but then her free hand reached across between them to come to rest on his hip, her eyes going half-lidded as she bit at her lower lip, restraining a quiet, pleased sigh. She tugged him closer, looking down at him as she shivered.
They were outside, near enough to town that a part of him thought to pull away to regain some of her well-reminded discretion. But the rest of him was eager to finish something they had started once already; to be stymied again felt like it might be too much.
He smiled against her neck but did not pull away, only lifting his head long enough to find her lips. His free had reached up, thumb on her neck, his fingers wrapping up behind her head as he kissed her. After a moment, he moved again, tilting her head with his hand so he could leave kisses on her throat.
Fingers itching to touch, he extricated his other hand from hers and lifted it to tug her tunic from her shoulder just a little, so he could kiss the skin below. It drew a strangled sigh from her and a breathed, "Maker, what are you doing-"
Her question barely registered and he didn't pull away. Instead, he let his tongue slide along her collarbone. Possessed with the urge to leave a visible sign on her skin, he leaned in and nibbled lightly. He added the tiniest bit of pressure with his teeth and lips and then with a small flick of his tongue, he pulled away.
His hand fell away from her shoulder, letting her tunic slide back into place and he let his gaze come back up to meet hers with a broad smile, his braid having fallen forward from his ear.
Cauthrien's arm, supporting her weight, trembled as she looked at him curiously, skin flushed and lips slightly parted. "Are you trying to leave marks?" she asked, finally, pulling her hand from his hip to rub at where he'd pressed his lips. "You are, aren't you?"
Blue eyes flashed in accompaniment with his laugh and he leaned in to quiet her with a kiss. It was gentle and as he pulled away again, slowly this time, he whispered, “I might be”.
And then in a tone that implied innocence he added, “I was however very discreet, as you, dear lady, have warned me about.” He thumbed at the edge of her tunic again and pulled it away so he could see the shallow indentations his teeth had left, still red from only moments before.
When his hand fell away he said with a tone of importance and satisfaction, “It is very well hidden.”
She blushed more brightly still at that. "I- yes, it is. Nobody will see it." She sat up again, and for a moment he feared that she would put distance between them to still any further desires. But she only moved to his other side, removing the possibility that they might crush the remaining food. Absently, she touched at her shoulder again.
He smiled, then leaned in to the side she wasn’t paying attention to. Once more he reached up to pull at her tunic, finding her collar and moving it enough to give him access to her shoulder. He kissed at her neck again, but with less preamble than he had on the other side.
He tried to find the matching spot on her other shoulder, licking, kissing, and then nibbling there, too. Again, it was gentle, knowing he would leave only shallow marks - but marks nonetheless, on her skin where he had been. The thought made him smile again as he pulled back once more.
When she looked at him, he shrugged and narrowed his eyes in playful consideration. “It was uneven. Now, it’s not.” He let his hand fall to her back and pulled her in close.
"Uneven," she said, dryly, voice gone a bit hoarse. She swallowed and licked at her lips, then shifted so that her legs were against his.
He nodded again. “Oh yes, uneven.”
"I'm not entirely sure why you want them there in the first place," she said, fingers settling loosely around the base of her throat.
One of his arms was was propped behind him, but still Teagan tried to give a vague gesture with both. Even he wasn’t sure exactly why he felt like he needed them there, but the giving of them had been very nice. And once given, the knowledge that they were there- well, that was another pleasant feeling in itself, one of possession. There was something about her neck, her hair pulled up and away, that was incredibly appealing to him. After that morning, he wanted his lips against it- he wanted signs of his passing when she had to go elsewhere.
With a shake of his head, he added, “Just felt like it needed doing. And I don’t think I’m very sorry for having done it.” He eyed her curiously for a moment. “Unless you don’t like them?”
He didn’t look up at her as he waited for her answer, but he still caught the barest hint of her shaking her head. His eyes instead focused on the curve of her shoulder, pale and firm. Maker, the slightest hint of her skin could drive him as mad as the thought of courting her properly.
Teagan only looked up as she shifted, moving to throw a leg over his and straddle him. "I don't mind them, certainly," Cauthrien said, looking down at him curiously. "Though I can't do much in response."
“Oh, I don’t know about that,” he said as he gazed up at her.
After a moment he turned his attention back to her arm, leaning in to kiss the outside of her shoulder. It was simple, gentle and he didn’t nip at her at all. When he lifted away again he was still smiling. No marks; just taste.
Teagan's hands settled on her thighs, her hips, helping her to settle in his lap while she rested her hands on his shoulders. She wasn't straddling his hips like she had the other night, but she was close enough to lean in, eyes narrowed, and kiss him. It started off gentle but turned forceful by degrees. First, a light nip at his lip, followed by a harder one, followed by the intrusion of her tongue. Her hands on his shoulders tightened, then pressed, urging him to lie back.
She exerted force but not necessity as she broke the kiss and dropped her head to kiss at his throat just as he had at hers. He sighed and inhaled shakily, tilting his chin back. She was warm and heavy against him, her lips sliding over his pulse.
When she nipped, it was higher up, at a spot not quite covered by his collar, and he laughed. There was a piece of him that recognized exactly what she was doing, bold and brazed and blunt as always, and he grinned. “See, I knew you would think of something,” he said.
His words were breathy and on the edge of being just sighs, but she responded to them, pulling away and letting her hands slide from his shoulders. She braced them against the ground instead to keep herself from placing too much weight onto him. And there she hesitated, taking a deep breath and staring at her, pupils gone wide with want but mouth tensed in thought.
He counted heartbeats until she moved again.
She bent again to kiss - lightly, this time - at his jaw, all the way to his ear. Once there, she murmured quietly, "We have work to do." But she didn't attempt to sit up again.
He reached a hand up to her face, thumbed over her cheek and over her ear. He tried to nod, though it was difficult against the ground. “Yes, we do have work that needs doing.”
But she didn't move, and he couldn't find the will to press her away. Instead, he nuzzled against her as she kissed his throat again, waited until he could lift his head enough to kiss her back. When he laid his head back on the ground, he sighed.
There were things to do, though. She was right. And if they weren't going to disentangle, they could at least speak.
“We didn’t really finish lunch either... or- talk much.”
--
"No. We didn't."
Cauthrien took another deep breath, trying to focus. Her lips sang from their kisses and her belly throbbed with barely restrained want, and it was a trial to ignore how he looked up at her, how his skin colored pink where she had nipped, how his lips parted as he drew breath.
But with space and air, the need to mark him in turn began to fade. She mastered herself once more and settled down against his side, one leg still over his but with none of the same intensity. Her breathing was still shallow, quick, and her lips ached to seek out his skin again, but she tried to focus.
Oswin. The butcher. His son.
"Oswin's son," she said, frowning faintly, putting one word after the other, "once fell in love with Edlyn, but Oswin said he had warned him off of her. The boy wasn't around to talk to, though."
It had seemed more important, more obvious at the time, but there in the grass with Teagan, she was hard-pressed to remember how it fit in. "Oswin was also very clear that Èdouard wasn't interested in Edlyn."
He slid his hand over to find hers. “Èdouard didn’t have much else to say, really. I did ask him about his term for Edlyn.” He turned his head to look at Cauthrien. “Little flower? He claims it was only a nickname, the first thing he taught her in Orlesian.
“What about Èdouard’s abilities- the goat? Did you ask Oswin about that?” he continued.
Cauthrien hummed low in her throat. "I asked what Èdouard did around the shop, if he ever helped out in the yard. Oswin said he has a weak stomach, and that he mostly takes care of things like making the sausages and preserved meats. I'm... not entirely sure that Èdouard could do what we saw."
She thought of the goat, strangled and then bled out, and frowned.
"Owen, Oswin's boy, was working yesterday - bringing in a goat that apparently escaped him on the way to town. And now he's out of town again, heading over to Hertwig for his father."
“Any idea when the boy will be back? I would hope we could find Edlyn before he returns, especially if they're friends.” He squeezed her hand at the thought and then rolled his head back and looked at the sky.
"He's just out picking up a shipment of salt. At most, he should be back before the week is out."
Teagan leaned into Cauthrien, tilting his head against hers and squeezing her hand again. “If Èdouard is innocent... there’s either someone in town that knows Orlesian that we don’t know about, or there’s something we’re missing...” He let the thought linger for a moment with another sigh.
"It's... always possible," she said, continuing slowly, "that somebody had Èdouard write the letter for them. It doesn't really seem like his writing - close, but not quite, not genuine. And it's also possible that Edlyn wanted to go. The dead goat suggests she's alive and maybe even completely unharmed."
Cauthrien frowned.
Then sat up, abruptly.
"There is somebody else who knows Orlesian- Edlyn."
“You’re right,” he said. Also frowning, he pushed himself up to look at Cauthrien. “Did someone make her write it, you think?” Teagan leaned forward and folded his legs up close to him, laying his arms across them thoughtfully. “If she wrote it, do you think she planned for it to look as though Èdouard had written it?” He shook his head even as he said the words. “Probably not, hm? More likely it sounds like Èdouard because he taught her, yes?”
"That's- possible, though. Somebody who wanted to discredit Èdouard. I'd say that if Edlyn wrote the letter, it would only sound like Èdouard's writing because he taught her, but little flower- That, at least, was deliberate. And it was written in Orlesian, so it was at least meant to look as if it were written by an Orlesian man.
"But from all accounts, Edlyn didn't dislike Èdouard. I can't imagine why she'd choose to make it look like his doing."
Cauthrien rose, walking over to the willows absently, covering ground to help her think. "But she's the only other person who could have written it, who would have known that endearment. The letter- it's either written by her or by Èdouard, and I'm starting to think it's the girl. The goat- a faked death- and this letter...
"And she had reason to want to disappear."
“The betrothal. If she was as upset as Èdouard says, she would have wanted to leave. But someone helped her, with the goat if nothing else...”
He sighed. “We should still tell Edlyn’s parents that we think she’s alive. But after that, what?” He pushed himself off the ground and walked over to Cauthrien, arms folded across his chest. “I could send out a few men to search for her-”
She remembered back to her daydreams, her thoughts about what her life would have been. "And if they find her? Do we bring her back to a marriage she clearly doesn't want? That goat didn't belong to her family- she killed somebody else's livestock for the chance to escape. Or had it killed.
"And she'd know the potential consequences for it."
Cauthrien turned and paced back in Teagan's direction. "And we have no idea where she might have h-"
Cauthrien froze, then turned to look at Teagan. "She's headed for Gherlen's Pass. Either that or up towards West Hill- she's making for Orlais."
“She has a head start but I can have men sent out to look.” He shook his head. “But do I have her brought home?” There was concern in his expression, his brow arched with the question.
He looked at Cauthrien. “You’re right- about what she faces if she comes back, but I can’t leave her out there alone, can I? We don’t know who might be with her. Or even if there’s something more sinister to it all-” The word trailed off as he looked the ground, scuffed at it with a shoe as he thought.
Her expression tight, she nodded again. "And there's still Blight in that area- tainted wolves and bears and other creatures. She would be in danger even during peacetime, but the Wardens haven't cleared that part of Ferelden yet. Even if she's safe, or with somebody she'd like to be with..."
Cauthrien pursed her lips, resuming her pacing for just a moment before she stopped. She turned to look at him, jaw tense.
"And then," she said, slowly, "there's the matter of Oswin's boy. He had feelings for her at some point recently, and managed to lose a goat. A wether. Maybe we should go back to Edlyn's lands and check the carcass. Because if it's the same goat, we might know who helped her."
Teagan nodded. “We’ll go back to the farm as we intended. We’ll tell her parents what we think and we’ll take another look at the goat." He went back to their food, crouching and starting to wrap everything back up. “When we get back to the estate, I’ll have men sent out to search for her- and, potentially, Oswin’s boy. If they find them, they can be brought back home.” He stood, grabbed the food and said, “We should gather our horses and get to the farm before it gets much later.”
"Even if Owen didn't run away with her, he might still be responsible for helping her escape. Send some men to Hertwig to see if he ever reached it. He'll have a cart, probably ox-drawn, to help bring back the salt... if he's there at all."
She sighed, shaking her head, then whistled a sharp series of trills. Calenhad poked his head from the willows a moment later, then came back to her at a slow plod while she bent and began pulling her discarded clothing back on. "I still think it's best if you tell the parents alone; Oswin did not appreciate me being in his store today, and there are already rumors, apparently, that you listen to me too much."
He shook his head as he packed the food away on his horse. “No, I meant what I said earlier. It’ll be good for them to see you helping. They don’t have to like it and you don’t even have to talk, but I want you there.” His tone was almost forceful and definitely noble, it didn’t have any of the tenderness left from before.
It made her believe him.
He swung up onto his horse and waited for Cauthrien to finish dressing, and her fingers worked quickly at toggles and laces. She pursed her lips, taking a deep breath. It still wasn't a good idea, of that she was sure. But she would let him see that- and hope, quietly, that he was somehow right.
Fastening up her arming jacket and hiding away the last of the marks he had left, she smiled up at him. "Very well. But you do the talking. I'll only put my foot in my mouth - it's a soldier's prerogative when trying to be diplomatic, I think."
With that, she mounted her horse and settled herself. "Lead on."
--
It was near evening by the time they made it back to the estate. The meeting with Edlyn’s parents had been difficult. He had insisted that Cauthrien stay with him, even if she opted not to stand directly next to him as they shared what their investigation thus far had elicited, and her words had been stilted and met with stony silence or wordless sounds of assent or displeasure. He could see the tension in her shoulders as he led them into the stables, dismounting near the entrance and walking his horse the rest of the way, with a soft hand on its muzzle.
Edlyn’s parents, though distrustful of Cauthrien, had listened and indeed been relieved at the thought that Edlyn might still be alive. Only missing. They had no idea where she might have gone, giving him and Cauthrien the same tales of Edlyn as the head-in-the-clouds type of girl that might have well gone towards Orlais if she thought she could get there.
Teagan shook his head as he led his horse and spared a glance at Cauthrien. He was thankful for her help, for standing nearby, even if she hadn’t wanted to. Things like this would never be easy. After the war, he had explained to too many people that their husbands or sons had died. He had made himself attend services for those fallen during the fires, or for a dozen other reasons caused by the war- or the Blight. Explaining to a family that their young daughter was missing - that she might now still be in danger - it was harder still than any of that.
If he and Cauthrien had aligned themselves differently during her stay in Rainesfere, he might have been the sort of man that thought she deserved to see what that family was going through. It wasn’t men lost at Ostagar; it was just a family (could have been any family, could have been her family) dealing with the possible loss of their daughter. But the parallels were similar enough, people lost for no reason, people lost possibly because of the actions of far away generals and queens. Edlyn’s family was still suffering from the war, still rebuilding - and now this.
Teagan wasn’t that man and was instead thankful she had been there for support, and more still he wished that it hadn’t been necessary at all.
He gave her a tenuous smile. “Thank you for coming with me. I know you didn’t want to. But I appreciate it.”
She looked up from where she was running a brush over Calenhad's flank. "It didn't go as poorly as I thought it would. They only remembered to glare at me for the first five minutes." She smiled, thinly, then patted Calenhad on the rump and moved to put her things away.
With a sigh she continued, "Though I wish we had had more to offer them."
They hadn't been able to tell Edlyn's family about the goat - a wether indeed - and its connection to the butcher's boy. They didn't know enough yet. They had left it at gone, but probably not dead, and we have a few leads.
But the goat had been a wether and they needed to know whether Owen was on the road back to Rainsfere or not.
He came back to himself at the creak of wood as she leaned against the stable wall. "Will the guard set out tonight, or wait until daybreak?"
Teagan shrugged and let out a deep breath. “It’s getting late, but I also know we’ve lost so much time already.” He swallowed and looked at Cauthrien, taking a few steps back from his horse. “If we wait until morning, that’s more time they’ve lost.”
The words tumbled out before he could stop himself and he flushed red. His jaw tensed and he looked back to his horse. We.
He swallowed and bowed his head. He wasn’t embarrassed but it was only then dawning how close he already thought them. Courting, marking- working together. Trusting. There was a flutter of uncertainty in his gut and he forced himself to look back at her, as if nothing had happened. As if there wasn’t anything to be made of it. Before, he had been planning to ask her opinion. Now, he hesitated.
“How far do you think a girl or even two people could have gotten on their own? On foot?” he finally asked, searching her face as she spoke for any hint of confusion or displeasure- or, Maker keep him, pleasure.
She didn't seem to notice the slip one way or the other.
She nodded, coming around to his stall, standing at the exit and waiting with her shoulder braced against the wall. "Since yesterday? It depends on... a lot. But at most- if she or they were both used to walking, and were bringing food with them, given how the land lies in this area if they were heading west?"
Cauthrien pursed her lips, fingers tapping on her hip. "Fifteen miles. They're not soldiers used to marching with fifty-pound packs, after all. Or at least, she isn't. I doubt they would move at night. Your men could cover a lot of ground, but without light to look for tracks by, if they've left the main road, it may only waste their energy. My suggestion would be to have them prepare tonight and be ready to move just before dawn. We lose the least time that way.
"Would you like me to accompany them at all...?"
He nodded as Cauthrien spoke, still not quite looking at her. “Morning seems best,” he agreed, then took a deep breath and met her eyes. “But I don’t think you need to go with them.”
He really didn’t want her to go. If he was going to get a quiet night at home after this day, he wanted her there, at least until dawn. It also didn’t seem particularly necessary- his men could handle it, and he wasn’t sure how they would feel riding with Cauthrien, even under his orders.
“Unless you want to?” he asked hesitantly. He stepped passed her out of the stall. There was some confidence in him again and his face no longer felt so warm. Still, he swallowed nervously as he looked to her.
She hesitated a moment, then shook her head. "No," she said, quietly, a little sheepishly, as she rubbed at her shoulder where she knew his marks still rested. Her eyes went from his face to his neck where she could see still the slight darkening of skin she'd left.
"I would go if you thought it best, but- I would be more glad to stay."
With him.
He was glad to hear it.
She glanced away, taking a deep breath and straightening, pushing away from the stall.
“Then let’s get back up to the house. I’ll send out the orders and we can have... dinner?” There was a grin for her then. Wine, perhaps? was on his lips but he kept the words back.
With small chuckle to himself he looked at her and then headed towards the path. And then her own small voice played in his head- her damned ‘discretion’, which made him laugh just a little louder.
“Do you want to walk with me to the house?” he asked, head tilted and a brow arched as he grinned.
She rubbed at her shoulder again, a faint smile on her lips.
"All of Rainsfere has seen me walking places with you by now, I think," she said, following - but not as far behind as she usually did, walking almost abreast with him. "A stroll up to dinner won't add too much fuel to the fire."