DA:O - "For Queen and Country"

[tersa]

For Queen and Country
Author: tersa
Pairing: Alistair/Anora, references to previous Alistair/f!Cousland
Words: 2,161
Rating: NC-17
Author’s Note: Unbeta'ed, angst & smut. Hey, look, it's actual Alistair fic.

The idea for this fic spawned from two prompts on dragonage_kink I stumbled on last night, that were so similar, they merged together into a single story concept.

Prompt #1:

“I want to read Alistair's POV as he finds himself with the duty of sleeping with his wife. He is not a virgin, and he still is completely in love with the F!Warden (Cousland or Amell if possible), but even though she is alive, they can't ever be together again. He is heartbroken because she left right after slaying the archdemon and being named Warden Commander, and he feels guilty at the same time because he was the one to tell her they couldn't be together because she wasn't able to give him children.

Here's the catch: Feeling as he feels, Alistair is either unable to perform or he is able to perform but completely hates himself during the act and afterwards too.

Basically, he had only slept with a woman he loved. And he will never love Anora.

So there is supposed to be a lot of angst in here, may be a little self-loathing. What I really want is to read Alistair's thoughts as he can't perform his duty, and when/if he manages, then he hates himself during and after.”

The second prompt (since deleted):

“When there's dubcon we always read the girl's POV. I want to read Alistair hating himself during sex with Anora because he had to break up with his better half (say, Elissa Cousland) to become King. Choosing his duty to his kingdom over the love of his life, he is self-forced to have sex with his Queen often in order to beget a child to keep his bloodline and prevent a civil war. He doesn't love Anora and he never will, he doesn't even want her to bear his children if there's a chance for him to have them. This is supposed to be an extremely angsty scene.

Another option is that he wants to get over Elissa, but even though he tries to sleep with his Queen, he can't manage and tries to excuse himself for a long time until Anora snaps.

No fluff here, pure drama, angst, guilt and remorse. May be some depression too.”

Link to the post: "For Queen and Country"

(crossposted to dragon_age and dragonage_fic)