Volatile
Yesterday, I told my sister that the anal sphincter relaxes after a person dies.
After being properly and thoroughly disgusted, she had the info verified by less suspicious sources (ie. parents).
She then swore to make sure her intestines are empty before dying. She figured moving her bowels at least thrice a day would do the trick.
XD
I love doing this to siblings.
(Yes, I torture my brother with pictures from the obstetrics textbook. He shuts his eyes in retaliation. I get pissed he doesn't appreciate the ubiquitous miracle of birth. Haaay. Why isn't he considerate enough to scream in horror for his ate?)
---
On a related note, I will not relate my very little experience with dead bodies, as I feel it somewhat irreverent.
Don't you?
...
Well, maybe some other time.
----
KoL is calling.
My little pastamancer has reached the Pastamancer level.
Yay.
I need to become more moxious though.
(Not that I can't use Moxie points in real life. He he.)
---
I wish the test to be done and over with.
Three days.
---
I hope I don't muck this up.
Gah.
---
Addendum: Tips on Surviving A Mugging in Manila On a Typical Crowded and Sweltering Hot Day (and even getting... gasp, revenge!)
1. First, whatever it is---cellphone, wallet, knapsack---give it up! It's not really worth getting stabbed by a rusty Clostridium-infested balisong, is it? (And remember, the anal sphincter relaxes!)
2. Second, scream as hard and as loud as you can.
3. Watch as your fellowmen do the chasing. And the revenging. If you're feeling really vindictive, join in the fun. If not, be jubiliant that you have provided your countrymen a much-needed scapegoat this wretched day.
4. Asses the aftermath. There are two possible scenarios.
- Worst-case scenario: perpetrator gets away with a few bruises. Flail chest. Maybe a ruptured spleen. And a lopsided kidney that needs to get fished out of the thoracic cavity (while you wonder how the hell it got up there).
- Best-case scenario: perpetrator helps the kangkong grow beautifully and bountifully for the Filipino children's consumption. ^__^ Imagine the all those iron and folic acid and vitamin B blooming in those malnourished little bodies. ♥
...
(No, Saitou-sama's vigilante ways are not contagious. But I bet if he does have a sense of humor, it's a morbid and corny sense of humor. Like mine. )
Oh yeah. I did say I'd try not be so snarky. ^^;;
After being properly and thoroughly disgusted, she had the info verified by less suspicious sources (ie. parents).
She then swore to make sure her intestines are empty before dying. She figured moving her bowels at least thrice a day would do the trick.
XD
I love doing this to siblings.
(Yes, I torture my brother with pictures from the obstetrics textbook. He shuts his eyes in retaliation. I get pissed he doesn't appreciate the ubiquitous miracle of birth. Haaay. Why isn't he considerate enough to scream in horror for his ate?)
---
On a related note, I will not relate my very little experience with dead bodies, as I feel it somewhat irreverent.
Don't you?
...
Well, maybe some other time.
----
KoL is calling.
My little pastamancer has reached the Pastamancer level.
Yay.
I need to become more moxious though.
(Not that I can't use Moxie points in real life. He he.)
---
I wish the test to be done and over with.
Three days.
---
I hope I don't muck this up.
Gah.
---
Addendum: Tips on Surviving A Mugging in Manila On a Typical Crowded and Sweltering Hot Day (and even getting... gasp, revenge!)
1. First, whatever it is---cellphone, wallet, knapsack---give it up! It's not really worth getting stabbed by a rusty Clostridium-infested balisong, is it? (And remember, the anal sphincter relaxes!)
2. Second, scream as hard and as loud as you can.
3. Watch as your fellowmen do the chasing. And the revenging. If you're feeling really vindictive, join in the fun. If not, be jubiliant that you have provided your countrymen a much-needed scapegoat this wretched day.
4. Asses the aftermath. There are two possible scenarios.
- Worst-case scenario: perpetrator gets away with a few bruises. Flail chest. Maybe a ruptured spleen. And a lopsided kidney that needs to get fished out of the thoracic cavity (while you wonder how the hell it got up there).
- Best-case scenario: perpetrator helps the kangkong grow beautifully and bountifully for the Filipino children's consumption. ^__^ Imagine the all those iron and folic acid and vitamin B blooming in those malnourished little bodies. ♥
...
(No, Saitou-sama's vigilante ways are not contagious. But I bet if he does have a sense of humor, it's a morbid and corny sense of humor. Like mine. )
Oh yeah. I did say I'd try not be so snarky. ^^;;