This is not healthy
The basement is so much cooler than the rest of the house. Elsewhere, it's so humid and uncomfortable. It's convenient to wait for the laundry to finish here and be able to play music at an enjoyable volume without disturbing anybody.
Speaking of music, I finally tried one of those free apps for online radios and I'm glad I did. This one finds a music station using a song, an artist, or a genre. It's a nice way to explore other types of music, and I don't even have to worry about choosing stuff. (I have this indecisiveness problem.) I've been listening to rock music from the 60's, using The Zombies as a starting point (because my dad played this Colin Bluntstone cover of "Misty Roses," and I was mesmerized), for the most part. Also listened to j-rock, using Asian Kung-fu Generation as a start. I actually like listening to songs that are neither in English or Tagalog when writing because I don't get distracted by the lyrics. Classical music tend to not work for writing because I end up actively listening to the music instead of trying to write.
Tatters We Let part 4 is being written, slowly but surely. T___T It feels so mediocre, but I'll be so glad to see it finished. It's been almost four years from when it was first conceptualized, using 31_days themes from 2005. I can also only base it on what was written in the first three installments, so I'm sure it'll be such a departure from current Naruto canon. (Not that I can match it to current canon since I'm hundreds of chapters behind.) I guess, that's just one more reason not to catch up to the manga.
Writing has become such a chore, but it's probably because I'm not reading much. Don't ask me why I bother then, because I'm not sure myself, hehe. (Oh, my on-again, off-again romance with writing~ ♥ I think you are more horrible than my first love biology, which still has a great pull on me after all. Sad. SAAAAD.)
Speaking of writing, while looking for segment one of Tatters 04 from who-knows-how-long-ago, I skimmed through an old unfinished story for a previous Nanowrimo. And I thought, hmm, these characters are still workable if only the writing can be made tighter and more succinct. I'm half-worried it won't be the same as how I originally imagined the story (particularly because I was actually shipping a pairing while reading snippets of it earlier. I had originally wanted one of those annoying GAH-can't-decide! not-love triangles among three compatible people using those characters, and I might not pull it off after all, hahaha. I suck.)
I feel a little better, but let me expunge my anxiety, anyway.
I think I'll admit it now: work is really stressing me out. When I'm inside the cubie, I can only work so many hours before my brain overheats. I can get engrossed for a max of four hours and when I stop, it's my eyes and head and back and bum hurting like guh. I get overwhelmed by my pile of paper and all sorts of crap I need to do that I end up going to other people's cubies to chat or to take walks out just to get some fresh air and away from that to-do list. And if there's meeting after meeting, it's hard to get any work done.
It's not like the to-do list comprise of simple, quick things either. It's shit I need to sit and figure out. If not that, they're long and tedious tasks that need my undivided attention.
I'm learning a lot but it's not even central to my work. I mean,it's me having to read all that crap, researching because the people who are supposed to be responsible for it are not doing anything. I hope at some point I'll be able to use people better as resources instead of just hiding in a corner, fretting.
The problem is, I feel like I dropped the ball on something that's not even my responsibility. I should stop thinking like that because I have other responsibilities, too. We all do, so sorry.
I've been trying to put in work over the weekend to get a jump on stuff, as well as finish stuff I was supposed to finish last week (month?). I guess that's not good either. The weekend should stay the weekend. So. There you have it. I refuse to do any work.
E.D. is still the best after all. I don't want to go back though. I feel like the insecurity over my self-perceived incompetence is far less in this job. I'm sure the stress is worse in the E.D.
Can you believe I even dream about work? @__@ At least let me have my naps in peace. What's the point of napping if one wakes up gritting teeth and thinking, no, no, it should have been done this way. . .
Pathetic. :P
In other news, I'm escaping through reading a slew of unrealistic, cute, but not earthshaking, shoujo manga. XD
Any recs for something long, involving, and amnesiac?
And one last thing, why, why, and how, can some food manage to be so good, like, orgasmic good? O__o If I take my blood pressure the next time I have a headache after eating, do you think the reading will deter me from pigging out the following day (or meal)?
I didn't think so either.
Speaking of music, I finally tried one of those free apps for online radios and I'm glad I did. This one finds a music station using a song, an artist, or a genre. It's a nice way to explore other types of music, and I don't even have to worry about choosing stuff. (I have this indecisiveness problem.) I've been listening to rock music from the 60's, using The Zombies as a starting point (because my dad played this Colin Bluntstone cover of "Misty Roses," and I was mesmerized), for the most part. Also listened to j-rock, using Asian Kung-fu Generation as a start. I actually like listening to songs that are neither in English or Tagalog when writing because I don't get distracted by the lyrics. Classical music tend to not work for writing because I end up actively listening to the music instead of trying to write.
Tatters We Let part 4 is being written, slowly but surely. T___T It feels so mediocre, but I'll be so glad to see it finished. It's been almost four years from when it was first conceptualized, using 31_days themes from 2005. I can also only base it on what was written in the first three installments, so I'm sure it'll be such a departure from current Naruto canon. (Not that I can match it to current canon since I'm hundreds of chapters behind.) I guess, that's just one more reason not to catch up to the manga.
Writing has become such a chore, but it's probably because I'm not reading much. Don't ask me why I bother then, because I'm not sure myself, hehe. (Oh, my on-again, off-again romance with writing~ ♥ I think you are more horrible than my first love biology, which still has a great pull on me after all. Sad. SAAAAD.)
Speaking of writing, while looking for segment one of Tatters 04 from who-knows-how-long-ago, I skimmed through an old unfinished story for a previous Nanowrimo. And I thought, hmm, these characters are still workable if only the writing can be made tighter and more succinct. I'm half-worried it won't be the same as how I originally imagined the story (particularly because I was actually shipping a pairing while reading snippets of it earlier. I had originally wanted one of those annoying GAH-can't-decide! not-love triangles among three compatible people using those characters, and I might not pull it off after all, hahaha. I suck.)
I feel a little better, but let me expunge my anxiety, anyway.
I think I'll admit it now: work is really stressing me out. When I'm inside the cubie, I can only work so many hours before my brain overheats. I can get engrossed for a max of four hours and when I stop, it's my eyes and head and back and bum hurting like guh. I get overwhelmed by my pile of paper and all sorts of crap I need to do that I end up going to other people's cubies to chat or to take walks out just to get some fresh air and away from that to-do list. And if there's meeting after meeting, it's hard to get any work done.
It's not like the to-do list comprise of simple, quick things either. It's shit I need to sit and figure out. If not that, they're long and tedious tasks that need my undivided attention.
I'm learning a lot but it's not even central to my work. I mean,it's me having to read all that crap, researching because the people who are supposed to be responsible for it are not doing anything. I hope at some point I'll be able to use people better as resources instead of just hiding in a corner, fretting.
The problem is, I feel like I dropped the ball on something that's not even my responsibility. I should stop thinking like that because I have other responsibilities, too. We all do, so sorry.
I've been trying to put in work over the weekend to get a jump on stuff, as well as finish stuff I was supposed to finish last week (month?). I guess that's not good either. The weekend should stay the weekend. So. There you have it. I refuse to do any work.
E.D. is still the best after all. I don't want to go back though. I feel like the insecurity over my self-perceived incompetence is far less in this job. I'm sure the stress is worse in the E.D.
Can you believe I even dream about work? @__@ At least let me have my naps in peace. What's the point of napping if one wakes up gritting teeth and thinking, no, no, it should have been done this way. . .
Pathetic. :P
In other news, I'm escaping through reading a slew of unrealistic, cute, but not earthshaking, shoujo manga. XD
Any recs for something long, involving, and amnesiac?
And one last thing, why, why, and how, can some food manage to be so good, like, orgasmic good? O__o If I take my blood pressure the next time I have a headache after eating, do you think the reading will deter me from pigging out the following day (or meal)?
I didn't think so either.