Almost...there...yay
Yes so... Hello.
I cannot bloody well fuckin sleep so here I am typing another wonderous written mess of my thoughts. Let's see what I can throw on the pallet for you to pick at. Hm , well I recently became a vegitarian. Not by choice for health reasons- because i cannot digest meat in a proper human worm baby manner it is bad for me. I occasionally epically fail at this new diet because I enjoy Ham. I'll admit it. My immune systems completely shot since my little summer face eating disease. Turns out the anti-biotics they shoved a 1000mgs at a 3 times a day perscription was the strongest shit you can get. Which in turn mean my entire immune system is crap. I HAVE BEEN SICK FOR 3 WEEKS!... And i feel a little better and then some other horrible element of illness creeps on me. Tis balls. Large , sweating , hairy go-nads.
Schools almost done...SCHOOLS ALMOST DONE. With all the stupid crap I have managed to pull my pathetic ass through I will STILL BE THE FIRST MOTHER FUCKER IN MY FAMILY TO GRADUATE HIGHSCHOOL...EAT THAT! Yes...Alot of people said that I would never come this far... and would end up pumpin gas for a living or god knows what else- but ha! YOU were wrong..so eat my ass!...Sorry had to get that out of the way.
Tonight I ate my feelings, because I had a terrible day , everyones mean to me , and my mommie yelled at me because I told her I was thinking of moving out with joe. Her reaction " *BALLS EYES OUT* YOUR STILL MY LITTLE GIRL , YOU CAN'T MOVE OUT. I DON'T WANT YOU TO! YOU HAVE TO STAY!.".....Mmhmm as sweet as that was.... it sorta ya know annoyed me. To add to that I have managed to widdle my social life back down to a fine dust - which seems to be blowing off into the wind with the changing leaves. It turns out that once again , me caring to much , and letting people in , and loving them to the point where it hurts me , has led me back to my painful wallowing hole of hermitiness. People are evil,, and mean.... and cruel... and I do not enjoy your sadistic torments .... You make me want to hide under my covers and never come out. -fin
Moving on to some nicer happier thoughts shall we? Me and the love of my life recently celebrated our one year together at Fearfest (best idea ever ) along with joey teaching me how to ice skate. It was lovely, and it made my heart grow 10 sizes that day. Earlier this week when i got mad depressed joey also surprized me with a gigantic pink teddy bear. You see I had locked myself in my room (cause I had one of my lil 'i hate the world' fits) and ya know hadnt moved out of bed for about 48 hours (except to pee an consume yogurt) and while sleeping Joey sneaks into my room and wakes me up to this gigantic pink snuggley , soft teddy bear and halloween chocolate.... just to ya know ...MAKE ME SMILE WE GLEE. I don't think anyone other than jessica has been able to make me smile like that when I've been in one of my 'holes'. Which is big points for joey - cause when im in that state getting even a valid emotional response to something is useless. But he fixed it and made it all betters.
So with all that spewed out before you I leave those of you who obviously have read this far with the fitting current life statement :
I HAVE NO DIRECTION IN MY LIFE , AND I'VE NEVER FELT HAPPIER.- post secret.
I cannot bloody well fuckin sleep so here I am typing another wonderous written mess of my thoughts. Let's see what I can throw on the pallet for you to pick at. Hm , well I recently became a vegitarian. Not by choice for health reasons- because i cannot digest meat in a proper human worm baby manner it is bad for me. I occasionally epically fail at this new diet because I enjoy Ham. I'll admit it. My immune systems completely shot since my little summer face eating disease. Turns out the anti-biotics they shoved a 1000mgs at a 3 times a day perscription was the strongest shit you can get. Which in turn mean my entire immune system is crap. I HAVE BEEN SICK FOR 3 WEEKS!... And i feel a little better and then some other horrible element of illness creeps on me. Tis balls. Large , sweating , hairy go-nads.
Schools almost done...SCHOOLS ALMOST DONE. With all the stupid crap I have managed to pull my pathetic ass through I will STILL BE THE FIRST MOTHER FUCKER IN MY FAMILY TO GRADUATE HIGHSCHOOL...EAT THAT! Yes...Alot of people said that I would never come this far... and would end up pumpin gas for a living or god knows what else- but ha! YOU were wrong..so eat my ass!...Sorry had to get that out of the way.
Tonight I ate my feelings, because I had a terrible day , everyones mean to me , and my mommie yelled at me because I told her I was thinking of moving out with joe. Her reaction " *BALLS EYES OUT* YOUR STILL MY LITTLE GIRL , YOU CAN'T MOVE OUT. I DON'T WANT YOU TO! YOU HAVE TO STAY!.".....Mmhmm as sweet as that was.... it sorta ya know annoyed me. To add to that I have managed to widdle my social life back down to a fine dust - which seems to be blowing off into the wind with the changing leaves. It turns out that once again , me caring to much , and letting people in , and loving them to the point where it hurts me , has led me back to my painful wallowing hole of hermitiness. People are evil,, and mean.... and cruel... and I do not enjoy your sadistic torments .... You make me want to hide under my covers and never come out. -fin
Moving on to some nicer happier thoughts shall we? Me and the love of my life recently celebrated our one year together at Fearfest (best idea ever ) along with joey teaching me how to ice skate. It was lovely, and it made my heart grow 10 sizes that day. Earlier this week when i got mad depressed joey also surprized me with a gigantic pink teddy bear. You see I had locked myself in my room (cause I had one of my lil 'i hate the world' fits) and ya know hadnt moved out of bed for about 48 hours (except to pee an consume yogurt) and while sleeping Joey sneaks into my room and wakes me up to this gigantic pink snuggley , soft teddy bear and halloween chocolate.... just to ya know ...MAKE ME SMILE WE GLEE. I don't think anyone other than jessica has been able to make me smile like that when I've been in one of my 'holes'. Which is big points for joey - cause when im in that state getting even a valid emotional response to something is useless. But he fixed it and made it all betters.
So with all that spewed out before you I leave those of you who obviously have read this far with the fitting current life statement :
I HAVE NO DIRECTION IN MY LIFE , AND I'VE NEVER FELT HAPPIER.- post secret.