Sorry, Life just got so "GREAT"
ive been a bad friend i know... but hey, thats what happens when life gets all crazy...em...joel...heather. i know that yall can feel me on this... anyway. i graduate from here pretty soon...my parents are coming to visit in 8 days, and steve for some reason finds it necessary to continually make me feel like a total and complete I HATE HIM MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD type thing. And why is that you ask? Because I still love him, and I dont want to but...god it sucks. I need to get over shit. The good thing is i no longer dwell on it. I have not a care in the world about what he is doing and what ever he is thinking or who he is with or where he is going. I dont care. Anyway, i gained a half inch which means that i am getting healthy again and not losing weight anymore...gettin under the 100s told me that it was time to resolve some of my internal problems... I thought that i maybe should put a bite or 2 of food in my mouth in order to not DIE...know what i mean? ma and dad did buy the tickets and the hotel room so i atleast need to be able to entertain their interests. i found out that i am not going to be in training for as long as i thought that it would last...i am to nebraska by early february. ya. IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING SNOW ON ME SEASON! i dont think that i am going to be entirely too happy about this, but "fortunately" for me there is nothing that i can do about it....I wish that i could come visit everyone though...i think that would make things in my life seem a heck of alot better...i need to just go out and get plastered with all of you and not think of anything but puking and trying to walk straight...you know...the good things in life...those which give us no emotional feeling because the physical gives us thoughts of "grandeur" and we have no sadness. no happiness. just plain old peacefulness.. hell ya Love yall. and i miss you dearly. you are without a doubt my favorite people in the whole world, of course family included. i will talk to everyone soon. Brianna