50 days of LJ: Day 7
I’m still waiting to start my new job, very excited, I think it will probably end up starting in May. I’m thinking of taking a hiatus from writing when I start the job for a couple of months, partly so I can focus on the job and not have the combined stress of job and writing. But also because I’ve gotten into this head-space where there’s always something I’m ‘supposed’ to be writing at the weekend. I feel pressure to get all the things in my head out of my head and onto the page. I have a list of things I want to write and I try to stop myself from spurious ‘other’ writing. And it’s all a bit of a mess. I think I need to allow myself to not write for a while. I was also thinking that in a few years I’ll have a family and kids and won’t have the luxury of having nothing to do. So I shouldn’t spend so much time stressing over making writing ‘a thing I should be doing’. Also, I don’t let it stop me from going out and doing other things, but it does make me frame going out as more of a nuisance and as something that takes time away from writing, even when it’s something I will enjoy, which seems an unhealthy thought process. So I think I just need a writing break in general.
Of course as soon as this decision was made my mind started spitting out ideas for other writing related stuff I could do instead on my hiatus. Like updating my fic archive and fic masterlists and writing essays and just writing random comment fic and writing plots for the TV shows I want to write and fanvids etc. And I think this will be okay, as long as I don’t start noting these down as things I ‘have to’ do or ‘have to schedule’ and just have them as things I do when I want to. And I am actually looking forward to it when thinking of it like that.
There were a bunch of things I wanted to get written before the Captain America: Civil War movie comes out, but I’ve mostly let that go (i.e. given up), I’m still going to try to finish my Loki tries to collect the infinity stones fic before. I really wanted to get my Tony Stark meta done before the film dismembers my headcanon. But I’ve just been left staring at thousands of words of notes I’ve made and frowning.
Additionally I’ve been trying to finish the fanfics I want to write so that I can focus on original fiction. I am after all turning thirty this year and should probably step outside of the ‘I want to be a writer when I grow up’ idea and into the ‘this is the thing I’m doing now’ idea. The problem being that researching for the Tony meta gave me a whole slew of fic ideas. So here is the list of fic as it currently stands (to be tackled post-hiatus):
· Upon My Liar’s Chair - Loki ruling Asgard and collecting the infinity stones fic
· ‘You know who I am’ - A Tony Stark character study meta
· Of Songs and Spiders - An origin story wherein Black Widow is the second regeneration of River Song
· Dark Avenger: Merchant of Death - A Tony as the master and Loki as the slave fic
· Reel Mythology - Thor and Loki exist and discuss these film versions of their selves
· Steve/Tony soulmate AU - names appearing on wrists
· A Loki after falling from the Bifrost fic where he’s got nothing and works his way up using/selling his skill-set (possibly Upon my liar’s chair prequel)
· Tony/Pepper fic - A history of parts of their relationship through the ‘Tony doesn’t want things handed to him’ issue, Pepper’s understanding and her work arounds
· The Avengers first meeting after SHIELD is taken down, their decision to trust and keep going, Tony deciding to fund them and design their weapons etc. And those eventually being used against him, ala Civil War, also the whole thing of them fighting but not wanting to kill each other, and going up through the sky
· Tony meta fic - his journey, character narrative, dealing with his panic attacks/anxiety/PTSD, his world view/motivations, the vision and ultron versions/aspects of his self, informing his decisions
· The one where Loki and Tony write a book - Sequel to The Trials of Being a Single Dad and A Supervillain
· Historical Loki making mischief in London, swapping town names and places ending up in different places (I don’t really care about the tube stations being wrong in The Dark World but it’s fun to ponder causes)
· I am Neal - White Collar fic of Neal recovering from the aftermath of slavery
I also worry about running out of time with writing. When I have kids on top of a full time job, I probably won’t have time to write. I know some people have the stamina to manage it, but I really don’t think I’m one of those people. Ideally, writing would be that full time job, but that’s probably not going to be realistic as far as being financially stable is concerned. So I really want to get as much writing done beforehand, so I have a good base. It’s a quandary.
Of course as soon as this decision was made my mind started spitting out ideas for other writing related stuff I could do instead on my hiatus. Like updating my fic archive and fic masterlists and writing essays and just writing random comment fic and writing plots for the TV shows I want to write and fanvids etc. And I think this will be okay, as long as I don’t start noting these down as things I ‘have to’ do or ‘have to schedule’ and just have them as things I do when I want to. And I am actually looking forward to it when thinking of it like that.
There were a bunch of things I wanted to get written before the Captain America: Civil War movie comes out, but I’ve mostly let that go (i.e. given up), I’m still going to try to finish my Loki tries to collect the infinity stones fic before. I really wanted to get my Tony Stark meta done before the film dismembers my headcanon. But I’ve just been left staring at thousands of words of notes I’ve made and frowning.
Additionally I’ve been trying to finish the fanfics I want to write so that I can focus on original fiction. I am after all turning thirty this year and should probably step outside of the ‘I want to be a writer when I grow up’ idea and into the ‘this is the thing I’m doing now’ idea. The problem being that researching for the Tony meta gave me a whole slew of fic ideas. So here is the list of fic as it currently stands (to be tackled post-hiatus):
· Upon My Liar’s Chair - Loki ruling Asgard and collecting the infinity stones fic
· ‘You know who I am’ - A Tony Stark character study meta
· Of Songs and Spiders - An origin story wherein Black Widow is the second regeneration of River Song
· Dark Avenger: Merchant of Death - A Tony as the master and Loki as the slave fic
· Reel Mythology - Thor and Loki exist and discuss these film versions of their selves
· Steve/Tony soulmate AU - names appearing on wrists
· A Loki after falling from the Bifrost fic where he’s got nothing and works his way up using/selling his skill-set (possibly Upon my liar’s chair prequel)
· Tony/Pepper fic - A history of parts of their relationship through the ‘Tony doesn’t want things handed to him’ issue, Pepper’s understanding and her work arounds
· The Avengers first meeting after SHIELD is taken down, their decision to trust and keep going, Tony deciding to fund them and design their weapons etc. And those eventually being used against him, ala Civil War, also the whole thing of them fighting but not wanting to kill each other, and going up through the sky
· Tony meta fic - his journey, character narrative, dealing with his panic attacks/anxiety/PTSD, his world view/motivations, the vision and ultron versions/aspects of his self, informing his decisions
· The one where Loki and Tony write a book - Sequel to The Trials of Being a Single Dad and A Supervillain
· Historical Loki making mischief in London, swapping town names and places ending up in different places (I don’t really care about the tube stations being wrong in The Dark World but it’s fun to ponder causes)
· I am Neal - White Collar fic of Neal recovering from the aftermath of slavery
I also worry about running out of time with writing. When I have kids on top of a full time job, I probably won’t have time to write. I know some people have the stamina to manage it, but I really don’t think I’m one of those people. Ideally, writing would be that full time job, but that’s probably not going to be realistic as far as being financially stable is concerned. So I really want to get as much writing done beforehand, so I have a good base. It’s a quandary.