Nature is not merciful.

[swirlscape]

It was hard for me to learn that cfkitty passed away a couple days ago. I haven't known what to say about it. I have felt a shadow of pain and loss, and sympathy for her friends and family.

I learned of her through another cystic fibrosis livejournaler, 65redroses, a few weeks ago. She was adorable and enthralling to read, but her health took a serious turn for

Comments

[65redroses]

yeah.....steph passing was tough but to tell the truth it was the weeks before it that i found harder. it was hard to figure out what was really going on as she was no longer able to update her LJ herself and relied on family members to keep us up to date. but all of her family members (who i sympathize with deeply) are seeing things from different angles and it was sometimes hard to figure out what was really happening.
all i know is....steph chose hospice in clear mind. she knew what was happening to her and she made the choice to die there. she signed her DNR's (do not resucitate....ie...ventilation). then AFTER she was allready drugged up in the hospice her mom decided she wasnt ready to die and took her out of hospice, into hospital and onto a ventilator. where she perished slowly and painfully.
to have lost her life is the saddest thing possible when her light was as bright as stephs.....
i dont want to say the wrong thing. but the situation leaves a bad taste in my mouth and has made me very clear in leaving my wishes not only with friends and family but in legal written form. the last thing i want is for my dignity and freedom to be taken away from me when it may be the only thing i have left.

[swirlscape]

That all makes sense, yeah. It's hard to know what's right or wrong in these situations - it all seemed wrong to me. I think things get confused when such a bright, beautiful creature is dying. I'm glad that the process was not totally in vain - I'm sure you and I aren't the only ones to have witnessed the process and learned from it. That is a gift, I think. I personally, if I found myself unable to breathe with my family begging me, would probably agree to be ventilated as well - but then, I don't feel like I really know what that means. Maybe I wouldn't if I knew all the ramifications.

I hope that she got your package - I remember you talking about that when she first talked about going to hospice. I'm glad that her light still burns bright in your heart, and Kina's, and so many other admirers of hers.