...
Woo, my mood is all up and down at the moment. I should have anticipated it given that change has always required an adjustment period for me, but it caught me off-guard. My first week in Adelaide was pure motivation; going out to see the city, being physical, being confident. Then the second week hit and unfamiliar surroundings started to seem foreboding. All I've wanted to do the last few days is sleep, which makes me feel terribly guilty, like I've failed in the spirit of adventure. I'm having difficulty navigating my place amongst the other staff, and I'm still not fully sure what my role is suppose to be. No doubt my insecurity is coming into play when I feel my environment is unwelcoming, and I'm falling on old habit and emotion because it takes me to a place I understand. But it's not a good place, and I need to be careful about regressing into self-sabotage. I'm all defensiveness at the moment, and I don't like it.
The last few days I've seen a few people from Melbourne who all seem happy to see me, which makes me start to think again that maybe I'm important. For a while there it was hard to imagine.
The last few days I've seen a few people from Melbourne who all seem happy to see me, which makes me start to think again that maybe I'm important. For a while there it was hard to imagine.