Fickleness of Life
Its rather mystifying that just in a matter of weeks or maybe even days that everything can seem so foreign and so familiar at the same time. Its been years since the feeling of solitude has crept onto me. Last time I remember having such episodes was when I was living in Hong Kong. Getting to know myself better before I came back home to Singapore.
Swamped with work, school, friends, relationship, its all been a surreal adrenaline rush for me always having something to get my hands on, deadlines to comply with, places to be in, things to see.... The good thing about this 6 mths into the year 2008, I've visited 3 places on my wish list Milan, London and Bali....... It rejuvanated my spirit but now back in Singapore, i feel my spirit dampening maybe its all the things that seem to be happening, maybe cause the one person that somehow manages to calm me down when my anxiety sets in isn't with me at the moment...... I miss him. I always seem more secure having him in my arms even.....He always somehow manages to calm me down despite all the big arguements and conflicts that we have been having the past few mths.....
I feel selfish, the selfish side of me wants him back here..... go back to our usual routine of things, but the practical side of me wants him to grow up as a person as with this new experience of working overseas..... everything seems to be happening quickly yet slowly.
Think I should just try to get my serotonin levels up again, or maybe the endorphines from a job will help me, but don't know if my knees have full recovered and if I can handle physical discomfort together with emotional pain at the same time...........
Swamped with work, school, friends, relationship, its all been a surreal adrenaline rush for me always having something to get my hands on, deadlines to comply with, places to be in, things to see.... The good thing about this 6 mths into the year 2008, I've visited 3 places on my wish list Milan, London and Bali....... It rejuvanated my spirit but now back in Singapore, i feel my spirit dampening maybe its all the things that seem to be happening, maybe cause the one person that somehow manages to calm me down when my anxiety sets in isn't with me at the moment...... I miss him. I always seem more secure having him in my arms even.....He always somehow manages to calm me down despite all the big arguements and conflicts that we have been having the past few mths.....
I feel selfish, the selfish side of me wants him back here..... go back to our usual routine of things, but the practical side of me wants him to grow up as a person as with this new experience of working overseas..... everything seems to be happening quickly yet slowly.
Think I should just try to get my serotonin levels up again, or maybe the endorphines from a job will help me, but don't know if my knees have full recovered and if I can handle physical discomfort together with emotional pain at the same time...........