(no subject)
It's 6:30 in the morning and even though I have mono I can't sleep so I'm writing in the livejournal I temporarily forgot that I had.
Boys:
my ex-boyfriend and best friend of 5 years has a new girlfriend and won't talk to me anymore.
(I've come to terms with it, but it still sucks big time and i miss him so so much)
the guy that i've been seeing off and on this past school year, who is crazy and dramatic but can also be really nice and great and who I thought was starting to settle down, told me a few days ago that when his ex-girlfriend comes back from being abroad in Africa this coming weekend they need to have a talk and settle some things and figure out their situation, and he "just wanted to let me know that if he was being weird at graduation that was why" and that he "just wanted to make sure I was clear about what was happening."
which bothers me for MANY reasons.
reason 1. I have been caught up in their annoying drama all year and clearly i'm going to have to deal with it in some way again even after telling him a million times I want nothing to do with it.
reason 2. As far as I know, before she went to Africa he had come to terms with the fact that he hated her, specifically for being such a crazy bitch, sleeping with one of his roommates/friends, and causing more drama than I ever thought humanly possible. I've had conversations with him about how unhealthy their relationship was and how they both bring out the worst in each other. So what I don't get is why this is STILL going on, and why they need to have another talk. But more importantly, WHY would he start anything with me in the ways he has been if there is still unfinished business between them, when i've been telling him all year that I don't want to have anything with him until he is moved on from that whole situation enough so that I don't get dragged in again.
reason 3. She is a huge bitch to me AND SHE IS BALD. Like buzzed hair bald. And i'm not hating on people who shave their heads, I give that a lot of credit, I am hating on her specifically because she sucks. I've always been nice to her and kept my distance because I understand how it would be really hard to see your ex's new whatever I was, but she gave me no credit for trying to make things drama free and instead was just a huge bitch. Another reason why her baldness bothers me is that it's just sooooooo beyond typical and predictable. Rich white girl goes to Africa and comes back too cool and cultured with all her African experience and her shaved head that proves how deeply Africa changed her thinking about inner beauty and physical appearances. BARF. I mean, whatever it's probably true but someone could have predicted it without even looking.
reason 4. I like the kid, but not enough to deal with this. Not nearly enough. And the thing about it is I will be bothered if they get back together because I will feel stupid for wasting time, but I wont be hurt. And I guess thats because in this situation I know I'm a million times better then the two of them, and I never got to the point of caring about him anymore than anyone else. I mean I tried, and I probably could have but then he would fuck up and I would go do my own thing and then get overwhelmed with annoying messages and calls from him about how badly he wanted to work things out between us and it was just too much and too annoying. But the drama hungry clark population will eat this up, and the last thing I want is anyone feeling sorry for me, because although I'll be bitter, I wont be crushed, and my bitterness wont be about him choosing her over me it will be about me wasting time on someone who is clearly not worth it. Anyways he's going to get mono, so i guess that's my revenge, even though ill feel terrible about giving it to him either way.
My best guy friend disowned me (via text I might add) because I won't be his girlfriend and he says he "can't do this anymore."
And I keep hoping he'll realize that's unfair and apologize for the way he's been treating me recently, but no. And he wont because even though he is graduating from COLLEGE this weekend, he still acts like he's in middle school. This situation is beyond frustrating but I can't do anything about it so I just have to let it go.
There's a really great guy who sends me packages at school with CD's he thinks I'll like and little cards and notes and he's so sweet but obviously I can't get myself to have any real feelings about it. And we had something fun last summer, but I guess he's just not my type... aka a ASSHOLE. haha I'm determined to change that and find an guy who puts off an asshole front so I'll be attracted, but then who is actually great. We'll see if that ever happens.
I've had mono for almost 3 weeks now. I lost most of my body which is sad cause I already had no boobs and now i really have no boobs, and my butt is so much smaller which is just so sad. Mono is the worst thing ever, i've never been so miserable and it takes forever to get over and it just fucks EVERYTHING up.
But laying around being gross for 3 weeks possessed me to dye my hair brown and I think I like it.
I'm also addicted to kate nash videos and it's all I do all day and I think I'm going lesbian for her. I love the foundations video so much. If I was gonna make a music video that is what I'd want it to be like.
Clearly I am sick since I just wrote an essay in my livejournal, but maybe i'll start writing in this more since i no longer have my roommate to talk to at odd hours of the night/morning.
Boys:
my ex-boyfriend and best friend of 5 years has a new girlfriend and won't talk to me anymore.
(I've come to terms with it, but it still sucks big time and i miss him so so much)
the guy that i've been seeing off and on this past school year, who is crazy and dramatic but can also be really nice and great and who I thought was starting to settle down, told me a few days ago that when his ex-girlfriend comes back from being abroad in Africa this coming weekend they need to have a talk and settle some things and figure out their situation, and he "just wanted to let me know that if he was being weird at graduation that was why" and that he "just wanted to make sure I was clear about what was happening."
which bothers me for MANY reasons.
reason 1. I have been caught up in their annoying drama all year and clearly i'm going to have to deal with it in some way again even after telling him a million times I want nothing to do with it.
reason 2. As far as I know, before she went to Africa he had come to terms with the fact that he hated her, specifically for being such a crazy bitch, sleeping with one of his roommates/friends, and causing more drama than I ever thought humanly possible. I've had conversations with him about how unhealthy their relationship was and how they both bring out the worst in each other. So what I don't get is why this is STILL going on, and why they need to have another talk. But more importantly, WHY would he start anything with me in the ways he has been if there is still unfinished business between them, when i've been telling him all year that I don't want to have anything with him until he is moved on from that whole situation enough so that I don't get dragged in again.
reason 3. She is a huge bitch to me AND SHE IS BALD. Like buzzed hair bald. And i'm not hating on people who shave their heads, I give that a lot of credit, I am hating on her specifically because she sucks. I've always been nice to her and kept my distance because I understand how it would be really hard to see your ex's new whatever I was, but she gave me no credit for trying to make things drama free and instead was just a huge bitch. Another reason why her baldness bothers me is that it's just sooooooo beyond typical and predictable. Rich white girl goes to Africa and comes back too cool and cultured with all her African experience and her shaved head that proves how deeply Africa changed her thinking about inner beauty and physical appearances. BARF. I mean, whatever it's probably true but someone could have predicted it without even looking.
reason 4. I like the kid, but not enough to deal with this. Not nearly enough. And the thing about it is I will be bothered if they get back together because I will feel stupid for wasting time, but I wont be hurt. And I guess thats because in this situation I know I'm a million times better then the two of them, and I never got to the point of caring about him anymore than anyone else. I mean I tried, and I probably could have but then he would fuck up and I would go do my own thing and then get overwhelmed with annoying messages and calls from him about how badly he wanted to work things out between us and it was just too much and too annoying. But the drama hungry clark population will eat this up, and the last thing I want is anyone feeling sorry for me, because although I'll be bitter, I wont be crushed, and my bitterness wont be about him choosing her over me it will be about me wasting time on someone who is clearly not worth it. Anyways he's going to get mono, so i guess that's my revenge, even though ill feel terrible about giving it to him either way.
My best guy friend disowned me (via text I might add) because I won't be his girlfriend and he says he "can't do this anymore."
And I keep hoping he'll realize that's unfair and apologize for the way he's been treating me recently, but no. And he wont because even though he is graduating from COLLEGE this weekend, he still acts like he's in middle school. This situation is beyond frustrating but I can't do anything about it so I just have to let it go.
There's a really great guy who sends me packages at school with CD's he thinks I'll like and little cards and notes and he's so sweet but obviously I can't get myself to have any real feelings about it. And we had something fun last summer, but I guess he's just not my type... aka a ASSHOLE. haha I'm determined to change that and find an guy who puts off an asshole front so I'll be attracted, but then who is actually great. We'll see if that ever happens.
I've had mono for almost 3 weeks now. I lost most of my body which is sad cause I already had no boobs and now i really have no boobs, and my butt is so much smaller which is just so sad. Mono is the worst thing ever, i've never been so miserable and it takes forever to get over and it just fucks EVERYTHING up.
But laying around being gross for 3 weeks possessed me to dye my hair brown and I think I like it.
I'm also addicted to kate nash videos and it's all I do all day and I think I'm going lesbian for her. I love the foundations video so much. If I was gonna make a music video that is what I'd want it to be like.
Clearly I am sick since I just wrote an essay in my livejournal, but maybe i'll start writing in this more since i no longer have my roommate to talk to at odd hours of the night/morning.