(no subject)
i want to run away again.
just go. escape.
i've never really been that great at anything. im alright at alot, but great? im passionate, sure. i love food. i love music and singing and dancing and acting. i keep thinking that if im passionate enough, i'll become amazing at it. and im not bad at anything. im good enough at everything to pass. to not have people ever tell me "haley just quit. this is not your calling."
im not backing down, but seriously.
im so scared of failure.
maybe thats part of why i keep sticking with things long after maybe i should have left.
im good at running. however, maybe im not that great at running either, as i always come back.
im not sure why i came back from europe. granted, i got like this about the same time last year. i cant leave. i have to finish school. i cant fuck up my chance at this job. i have two weeks between real school and summer session. maybe i can take some time off work.
chef asked me last week why ive been so upset lately. i said im a very organized person. i like things in their place. im a planner. all said in a gritted, terse manner. and before i could even finish saying anything he said "and things arnt all organized right now."
im just so lost.
just go. escape.
i've never really been that great at anything. im alright at alot, but great? im passionate, sure. i love food. i love music and singing and dancing and acting. i keep thinking that if im passionate enough, i'll become amazing at it. and im not bad at anything. im good enough at everything to pass. to not have people ever tell me "haley just quit. this is not your calling."
im not backing down, but seriously.
im so scared of failure.
maybe thats part of why i keep sticking with things long after maybe i should have left.
im good at running. however, maybe im not that great at running either, as i always come back.
im not sure why i came back from europe. granted, i got like this about the same time last year. i cant leave. i have to finish school. i cant fuck up my chance at this job. i have two weeks between real school and summer session. maybe i can take some time off work.
chef asked me last week why ive been so upset lately. i said im a very organized person. i like things in their place. im a planner. all said in a gritted, terse manner. and before i could even finish saying anything he said "and things arnt all organized right now."
im just so lost.