For Evvj and Justbolts
Late for both these birthdays, so I decided to combine them. Was just going to be a picture first, since Justbolts is writing about Bluestreak, and Evvj, Prowl, and then Smokescreen wound up there too, to make it a trio, and because he's cool and deserves more attention.
And then I felt like it needed a story, so, here we go.
"You're an idiot."
"Yes, so I've heard."
"Nah, nah, he's right Smokescreen. You're an idiot- hell, you're like, sixty idiots, times two! Cliffjumper tried to take out Megatron alone by punching him in the crotch once, and you're even dumber than that!"
"Thanks for the input there Blue, appreciate it." Smokescreen pulled the suit out of the back of his leg joint for what must have been the fifteenth time. The clinging fabric was made for a lot of things, but comfort for the wearer was not one of them. Gripping like a vice and keeping it's shape, sure.
"That was beyond stupid, I'd have expected more sense out of a Praxian, but then it is you." Prowl wasn't having much more luck, though his suit seemed to be bothering him around the head lights more than anywhere else. They were wretchedly tight around the bumper. "Fragging- where did he even get these? Or the very idea- it's all preposterous. Ridiculous!"
"Tails are kind of funny though, Hound's gonna get a kick out of it, at least. Won't surprise me a bit if he runs off with the ears at some point, he loves anything that looks like an organic. Oh, did you hear what he did last week? Tried to sneak a mammal in, some kind of wild cat-"
"Be quiet Bluestreak, I can't- this is not the time. Smokescreen, what in the nebula gave you the stupid idea to take that bet?"
"Why does anyone take a bet? I thought I had a decent chance of coming out ahead."
"But a drinking contest? With Ratchet?"
"How was I supposed to know!"
"Ratchet- the party mech. Ratchet- the doctor of dance. Ratchet- who isn't allowed into thirty percent of any given bars in a city by reputation alone?"
"I didn't know, okay! He's a doctor, they're supposed to be responsible."
"Yes- when they're on duty. Do you even do any research at all? Do you even think?"
"No, I really don't think he does. I mean, even I knew about that, and I don't read much. I just listen."
"Thank you Bluestreak, my point exactly." Door wings flared a bit and Prowl straightened his posture to it's usual square-shouldered stance, still figiting with the bust line. Where Smokescreen was having trouble with his rear, Prowl couldn't get it to fit comfortably to the seam of his headlights. "And to make it worse, you implicated the two of us into your moronic gamble! We barely associate with you, we're hardly a trio. We only really get together to reminisce about Praxus. What gave you the idea we'd agree to this!"
"I told you, I-"
"Thought you'd win. And were you gonna share the winnings with us, if you did?" Bluestreak was starting in now, just as irritable at this point as Prowl. "For the risk you decided you were willing to take with all of our dignity, cause I got a funny feeling we'd never have known about this if you'd won. Just saying."
Smokescreen had the decency to look shamefaced at that. "Well, in my defense, I had no idea he'd have blackmail on you, Prowl. And uh- thanks Bluestreak, for going along with it, even though he didn't have anything over you."
"Well, it wasn't like I was gonna let you guys look stupid alone. That wouldn't have been cool of me, I'd just have felt like slag. I mean, I'd probably have laughed, but I'd have felt like a tool, later. At least now we all look stupid together, you know?"
"You're a good mech Blue."
There was a moment of solidarity and silence in the little room they'd been given to dress in. Prowl was the one who chose to bite the bullet and break it. They might as well get it over with, it only made sense.
"So where is this party of the good doctor's that we're meant to attend?"
"Main rec room, we uh- he said we'd be able to find it by the noise level alone. And that we should .com him when we're almost there. He wants to annouce it."
"Lovely. A captive audience."
"After that we're just supposed to mingle and get cubes for people. All the people. Red Alert's even going to let someone take the helm for a bit, to stop by. S'going to be an event."
"I shudder in anticipation."
"Ratchet said he'd heard about parties like this, wanted to try it, but needed the right waiters. Apparently he wanted Jazz in on it too, but couldn't weasel him into it."
"Of course not, Jazz is clever."
"Yeah, no one is gonna make Jazz do anything he doesn't want to do. I bet he's got the best dirt on everyone, like, ever."
"Well, might as well go do this, then. It's not as though the situation will improve if we wait."
Smokescreen shrugged. "Well, it's not like it can get worse. Right?"
WEEEEP. WEEEEEP. WEEEEEP.
"Attention all autobots on the Ark. There is a Decepticon attack on a major human city, and all available mechs are to report for duty, and roll out immediately!"
Bluestreak lit up. "Saved by the bell!"
"I repeat, all autobots are to attend immediately!"
"Prowl, quick, get this thing off me! We gotta go!"
Smokescreen just looked at Bluestreak, almost through him. Prowl stared hard at the wall, sucking his lips in the way he did when he was trying not to get very, very angry."
"Guys?"
"Bluestreak." Prowl continued to look at the wall. "The compound Ratchet gave us to ensure his handywork stayed on properly does come off, but it's a medical adhesive."
"Wha- Prowl, what does that mean? What's wrong with both of you? We gotta go!"
"The adhesive is made to seal wounds on the field, or to keep temporary coverings on a patient who's not mentally capable of acknowledging they must stay in place."
"Prowl, what are you getting at?"
"All autobots to attend immediately!"
"Bluestreak," Smokescreen took a breath. "This stuff stays on for at least a day, in human terms. You need another chemical to get it off. And Ratchet has it, he was going to give it to me at the end of the night."
If the wall could wither under Prowl's stare, it would have. "And he's on his way to the city."
"All autobots to the field!"
EDIT: I thought I had done this ages ago! Peacewish wrote me this gem for my birthday, and it goes well along with the rest of the story. :)
http://peacewish.livejournal.com/244953.html
I love it. <3
And then I felt like it needed a story, so, here we go.
"You're an idiot."
"Yes, so I've heard."
"Nah, nah, he's right Smokescreen. You're an idiot- hell, you're like, sixty idiots, times two! Cliffjumper tried to take out Megatron alone by punching him in the crotch once, and you're even dumber than that!"
"Thanks for the input there Blue, appreciate it." Smokescreen pulled the suit out of the back of his leg joint for what must have been the fifteenth time. The clinging fabric was made for a lot of things, but comfort for the wearer was not one of them. Gripping like a vice and keeping it's shape, sure.
"That was beyond stupid, I'd have expected more sense out of a Praxian, but then it is you." Prowl wasn't having much more luck, though his suit seemed to be bothering him around the head lights more than anywhere else. They were wretchedly tight around the bumper. "Fragging- where did he even get these? Or the very idea- it's all preposterous. Ridiculous!"
"Tails are kind of funny though, Hound's gonna get a kick out of it, at least. Won't surprise me a bit if he runs off with the ears at some point, he loves anything that looks like an organic. Oh, did you hear what he did last week? Tried to sneak a mammal in, some kind of wild cat-"
"Be quiet Bluestreak, I can't- this is not the time. Smokescreen, what in the nebula gave you the stupid idea to take that bet?"
"Why does anyone take a bet? I thought I had a decent chance of coming out ahead."
"But a drinking contest? With Ratchet?"
"How was I supposed to know!"
"Ratchet- the party mech. Ratchet- the doctor of dance. Ratchet- who isn't allowed into thirty percent of any given bars in a city by reputation alone?"
"I didn't know, okay! He's a doctor, they're supposed to be responsible."
"Yes- when they're on duty. Do you even do any research at all? Do you even think?"
"No, I really don't think he does. I mean, even I knew about that, and I don't read much. I just listen."
"Thank you Bluestreak, my point exactly." Door wings flared a bit and Prowl straightened his posture to it's usual square-shouldered stance, still figiting with the bust line. Where Smokescreen was having trouble with his rear, Prowl couldn't get it to fit comfortably to the seam of his headlights. "And to make it worse, you implicated the two of us into your moronic gamble! We barely associate with you, we're hardly a trio. We only really get together to reminisce about Praxus. What gave you the idea we'd agree to this!"
"I told you, I-"
"Thought you'd win. And were you gonna share the winnings with us, if you did?" Bluestreak was starting in now, just as irritable at this point as Prowl. "For the risk you decided you were willing to take with all of our dignity, cause I got a funny feeling we'd never have known about this if you'd won. Just saying."
Smokescreen had the decency to look shamefaced at that. "Well, in my defense, I had no idea he'd have blackmail on you, Prowl. And uh- thanks Bluestreak, for going along with it, even though he didn't have anything over you."
"Well, it wasn't like I was gonna let you guys look stupid alone. That wouldn't have been cool of me, I'd just have felt like slag. I mean, I'd probably have laughed, but I'd have felt like a tool, later. At least now we all look stupid together, you know?"
"You're a good mech Blue."
There was a moment of solidarity and silence in the little room they'd been given to dress in. Prowl was the one who chose to bite the bullet and break it. They might as well get it over with, it only made sense.
"So where is this party of the good doctor's that we're meant to attend?"
"Main rec room, we uh- he said we'd be able to find it by the noise level alone. And that we should .com him when we're almost there. He wants to annouce it."
"Lovely. A captive audience."
"After that we're just supposed to mingle and get cubes for people. All the people. Red Alert's even going to let someone take the helm for a bit, to stop by. S'going to be an event."
"I shudder in anticipation."
"Ratchet said he'd heard about parties like this, wanted to try it, but needed the right waiters. Apparently he wanted Jazz in on it too, but couldn't weasel him into it."
"Of course not, Jazz is clever."
"Yeah, no one is gonna make Jazz do anything he doesn't want to do. I bet he's got the best dirt on everyone, like, ever."
"Well, might as well go do this, then. It's not as though the situation will improve if we wait."
Smokescreen shrugged. "Well, it's not like it can get worse. Right?"
WEEEEP. WEEEEEP. WEEEEEP.
"Attention all autobots on the Ark. There is a Decepticon attack on a major human city, and all available mechs are to report for duty, and roll out immediately!"
Bluestreak lit up. "Saved by the bell!"
"I repeat, all autobots are to attend immediately!"
"Prowl, quick, get this thing off me! We gotta go!"
Smokescreen just looked at Bluestreak, almost through him. Prowl stared hard at the wall, sucking his lips in the way he did when he was trying not to get very, very angry."
"Guys?"
"Bluestreak." Prowl continued to look at the wall. "The compound Ratchet gave us to ensure his handywork stayed on properly does come off, but it's a medical adhesive."
"Wha- Prowl, what does that mean? What's wrong with both of you? We gotta go!"
"The adhesive is made to seal wounds on the field, or to keep temporary coverings on a patient who's not mentally capable of acknowledging they must stay in place."
"Prowl, what are you getting at?"
"All autobots to attend immediately!"
"Bluestreak," Smokescreen took a breath. "This stuff stays on for at least a day, in human terms. You need another chemical to get it off. And Ratchet has it, he was going to give it to me at the end of the night."
If the wall could wither under Prowl's stare, it would have. "And he's on his way to the city."
"All autobots to the field!"
EDIT: I thought I had done this ages ago! Peacewish wrote me this gem for my birthday, and it goes well along with the rest of the story. :)
http://peacewish.livejournal.com/244953.html
I love it. <3