how i feel
i dont even know how i feel.
i have so many different emotions that are floating inside of me.
1st of all - the feeling of being stood up is horrible. like, i cant even explain. i was so so sooo looking foward to seeing him. as of now i havent been able to contact him all day, and im worried. worried not about me and him, but actually just worried about HIM. so no one can say that im being selfcentered, which of course it wouldnt even matter in this circumstance if i was being that
2nd of all - i have just felt physically sick allll day, and yea it didnt help that the weather was disgusting
3 - i dont even know how to sort out my feelings. i just dont understand wat is going on in my heart and my head rite now. it is just really hard and im just confused but i dont know wat im confused about. does n e one know wat i mean by that?
i mean in reality, everything is wonderful! i mean, i have wonderful clothes, friends, family, house, and im going to cornell next year and i have a job for the summer
i have many wonderful friends who care immensely about me and i thank all of you so much for that, i dont even understand wat im going through sometimes. i feel emotion so intensely and im hurt so easily. i feel both good and bad emotions so intensely...sometimes that is good like i feel happiness sooo strongly...but i also feel deep deep dark sadness.
i really wish that i had been able to talk to him, i dont want to be a stalker but its really frustrating to not be able to get in contact with someone alllllllllll day, especially if they broke plans with you without an explanation. urg.
basically that is my emotional state and my physical state doesnt feel too hot either, the colitis is bad cuz of all the freaking stress occuring in my life, family, school, boys, friends, well ahhhhh so much drama in my lifeeeeee
its times like these that i step back and reevaluate my life.
i have everything that i want. so why do i always feel like something is missing?
second of all why do i have these odd odd mood swings from like extremely sad to extremely happy and then to like normal and back again. i dont get it
on a side note its been like a little over a year since i got introduced to govac and the people that are there from steve - ie scott, elan etc :) and im so glad i met you and all the rest of the people that i have met throughout the year pertaining to govac because you guys have become a huge, huge part of my life and i dont know wat i would do without you.
govac took over the place that usy had in my life, it has just as much drama but its much easier to see u guys being that u all live in the area...plus we actually do something contructive not just hookup like in usy lol
not saying usys bad i had sooo much fun there and we do do charitable things and i was obsessed with it for a while and i had great boyfriends and hookups and friends and fun there, but just saying this is a new part of my life where i actually think i got closer to some of these people
ahh i love riting about memories
i have so many different emotions that are floating inside of me.
1st of all - the feeling of being stood up is horrible. like, i cant even explain. i was so so sooo looking foward to seeing him. as of now i havent been able to contact him all day, and im worried. worried not about me and him, but actually just worried about HIM. so no one can say that im being selfcentered, which of course it wouldnt even matter in this circumstance if i was being that
2nd of all - i have just felt physically sick allll day, and yea it didnt help that the weather was disgusting
3 - i dont even know how to sort out my feelings. i just dont understand wat is going on in my heart and my head rite now. it is just really hard and im just confused but i dont know wat im confused about. does n e one know wat i mean by that?
i mean in reality, everything is wonderful! i mean, i have wonderful clothes, friends, family, house, and im going to cornell next year and i have a job for the summer
i have many wonderful friends who care immensely about me and i thank all of you so much for that, i dont even understand wat im going through sometimes. i feel emotion so intensely and im hurt so easily. i feel both good and bad emotions so intensely...sometimes that is good like i feel happiness sooo strongly...but i also feel deep deep dark sadness.
i really wish that i had been able to talk to him, i dont want to be a stalker but its really frustrating to not be able to get in contact with someone alllllllllll day, especially if they broke plans with you without an explanation. urg.
basically that is my emotional state and my physical state doesnt feel too hot either, the colitis is bad cuz of all the freaking stress occuring in my life, family, school, boys, friends, well ahhhhh so much drama in my lifeeeeee
its times like these that i step back and reevaluate my life.
i have everything that i want. so why do i always feel like something is missing?
second of all why do i have these odd odd mood swings from like extremely sad to extremely happy and then to like normal and back again. i dont get it
on a side note its been like a little over a year since i got introduced to govac and the people that are there from steve - ie scott, elan etc :) and im so glad i met you and all the rest of the people that i have met throughout the year pertaining to govac because you guys have become a huge, huge part of my life and i dont know wat i would do without you.
govac took over the place that usy had in my life, it has just as much drama but its much easier to see u guys being that u all live in the area...plus we actually do something contructive not just hookup like in usy lol
not saying usys bad i had sooo much fun there and we do do charitable things and i was obsessed with it for a while and i had great boyfriends and hookups and friends and fun there, but just saying this is a new part of my life where i actually think i got closer to some of these people
ahh i love riting about memories