Let's go down a few notches
I should prolly finish my story but... i don't know. Lol. I'm just bored. Thinking bout things. It makes me wonder why certain things happen the way they do. Is there any such thing as fate? Or do we do this stuff to ourselves? Am I the only person to blame when things go wrong in my life? Or is there a higher being that plans this stuff all out? I really have no clue but whoever decided this stuff really sucks. lol. And what about karma? Is that real? If it is then I feel like I've done nothng wrong and I don't understand why I'm pretty much being punished this way. It really doesn't even make sense to me. Don't we all deserve to be happy? Why can't I just get a break? I'm not trying to say that my life is horrible or anything like that. I know there are people less fortunate than me and such but it's senior year! And the only thing i have yet to experience during my whole entire high school career is the one thing that I really want most. And maybe im making it out to be a bigger deal than it really is but i never imagined my life this way and im a little disappointed. I don't want to say that it's not fair but it sort of isn't fair. And i know life isn't always fair but cut me some slack. lol. I don't even get what is so hard about finding the one thing i want. My stepmom thinks im too picky and that thngs will happen for me in college. Am i too picky? Maybe i should have said yes instead of no to certain questions asked of me. But i don't want to change who i am for something. Right? Maybe i set the standards too high for myself. Maybe i should lower them a bit. Maybe, maybe, maybe. I don't even know. At this point, im just gonne think that im never gonna get what i really wanted out of high school and then maybe it'll eventually or accidentally happen. Hopefully.