Household Chores Special Olympics
Parents, I am certain, have a school somewhere. They go and they meet and they perfect certain parental traits such as the Voice, the tendency to move stuff that is in a perfectly good place (and what's so bad about the floor, might I ask?), the ability to go from once to a thousand in 3 nags, and how to close ranks and gang up on the kid. Today was one of those days, where the very act of opening my mouth in the morning was a HUGE mistake.
You see, I "allegedly" left some clothes in the dryer, which led to them being put in the clothes basket by my brother, which led to my mother mistaking them for dirty, and washing them again. Therefore, she was in a poor mood. So she asks me to take the clothes upstairs. I do this. Then she says "well, clean up all the clothes in your room so I know what's clean or dirty". I do this. Then I go back to reading (A BOOK! you sick ppl) downstairs. She yells "TIM!" I go "WHAT!?". This was a poor response. Next thing you know, I'm upstairs in the hallway being yelled at for having a messy room, and not doing what she asked (DESPITE THE FACT THAT ALL THE CLOTHES WERE PICKED UP). She now wanted all of the papers strewn around cleaned up. I made an attempt, and then quickly retreated to the sanctuary of the family room.
Yeah, that didn't work at all.
Next thing you know, I'm in my room cleaning everything while my mom is yelling about how I don't do enough, andrew doesn't do enough, and my dad is at fault for not making us do enough enough. At this point, my nerves are a little frayed, because when my mom gets angry she does this voice, that's loud and piercing and MY GOD it grates on the nerves like cheese. Now don't get me wrong, I love my parents, but that VOICE is the singularly most annoying thing in existence which is not banned by some sort of international convention. (as we speak, my dad is getting the slightly diluted VOICE for walking past a clothesbasket and not immediately picking it up). But anyway, back to earlier, when I was getting yelled at. So I'm in my room, and my mom is yelling and she says "and do you have a purple heart bag". Now, how the HELL am I supposed to know that when she said clean up my clothes she meant put away the dirty ones and pick some I want to give away. So I was tense and angry from the nagging, and i said "NO!" in a loud sarcastic voice... *commence the gottendammerung*. Now my dad is in my room yelling at me about disrespect, my mom is yelling at me for not having a bag, and I'm just standing there, pissed off at all of them. My dad has this habit of (when he argues with me) talking to my Mom about me like I'm not even there, and saying all this stuff he KNOWS is gonna get a rise out of me. I was keeping my cool, and not saying anything about that. ANd then he said "so why are you being so bitchy about all this". Now, at this point, I could do three things:
a)Say "Because mom's voice really really annoys me when she nags" and get my ass kicked to the curb.
b)Say some other lie, like "because I have schoolwork to do". Which would fail, and lead to my dad pointing out that I was on AIM, and hence uninstall it.It would also open up the whole "social v. school" arguement, and I sure as hell didn't want that.
c)Say NOTHING... safest bet, usually.
Now my brain was on auto pilot at this point, so I said nothing. Usually, this is a good response. Unfortunately, I combined it with a blank stare (NOT GOOD: INTERPRETED FOR SARCASM OR DISDAIN!! ABORT! ABORT!). So my dad says "dont give me a stare. clean up this stuff". and he left to go do stuff. So I cranked the radio and started cleaning. It wasn't bad, after all. Got most of my stuff organized, and so that was alright. Then, I had to put away the new old clothes which got washed. So I did that, learned that my brother used my gawdam razor (egh...), listen to my parents argue for a second, decided NOT to push my luck and tell Dad he was saying basicaly the same thing I did. Then they started agreeing with each other, but still arguing... my family does that alot. So at this point I crept out of the bedrooms (for those of you who don't know, My room, My brother's room, and My parent's room are all right next to each other in the top of a cross at the end of a hallway) vaulted over the trashbag, dodged between the clothesbasket, and hurdled the pile of newspapers to freedom. I swear to God it was like a chores triathalon. Then mom yelled at me to come get the clothesbaksets I passed. I grabbed that thing and threw it in the Laundry room, and now I'm fortified in the office, and I sure as hell am not coming out until 445, when I'm going out to Varghese's.
Just thought I'd share that story with you all. Hope you enjoyed it.
You see, I "allegedly" left some clothes in the dryer, which led to them being put in the clothes basket by my brother, which led to my mother mistaking them for dirty, and washing them again. Therefore, she was in a poor mood. So she asks me to take the clothes upstairs. I do this. Then she says "well, clean up all the clothes in your room so I know what's clean or dirty". I do this. Then I go back to reading (A BOOK! you sick ppl) downstairs. She yells "TIM!" I go "WHAT!?". This was a poor response. Next thing you know, I'm upstairs in the hallway being yelled at for having a messy room, and not doing what she asked (DESPITE THE FACT THAT ALL THE CLOTHES WERE PICKED UP). She now wanted all of the papers strewn around cleaned up. I made an attempt, and then quickly retreated to the sanctuary of the family room.
Yeah, that didn't work at all.
Next thing you know, I'm in my room cleaning everything while my mom is yelling about how I don't do enough, andrew doesn't do enough, and my dad is at fault for not making us do enough enough. At this point, my nerves are a little frayed, because when my mom gets angry she does this voice, that's loud and piercing and MY GOD it grates on the nerves like cheese. Now don't get me wrong, I love my parents, but that VOICE is the singularly most annoying thing in existence which is not banned by some sort of international convention. (as we speak, my dad is getting the slightly diluted VOICE for walking past a clothesbasket and not immediately picking it up). But anyway, back to earlier, when I was getting yelled at. So I'm in my room, and my mom is yelling and she says "and do you have a purple heart bag". Now, how the HELL am I supposed to know that when she said clean up my clothes she meant put away the dirty ones and pick some I want to give away. So I was tense and angry from the nagging, and i said "NO!" in a loud sarcastic voice... *commence the gottendammerung*. Now my dad is in my room yelling at me about disrespect, my mom is yelling at me for not having a bag, and I'm just standing there, pissed off at all of them. My dad has this habit of (when he argues with me) talking to my Mom about me like I'm not even there, and saying all this stuff he KNOWS is gonna get a rise out of me. I was keeping my cool, and not saying anything about that. ANd then he said "so why are you being so bitchy about all this". Now, at this point, I could do three things:
a)Say "Because mom's voice really really annoys me when she nags" and get my ass kicked to the curb.
b)Say some other lie, like "because I have schoolwork to do". Which would fail, and lead to my dad pointing out that I was on AIM, and hence uninstall it.It would also open up the whole "social v. school" arguement, and I sure as hell didn't want that.
c)Say NOTHING... safest bet, usually.
Now my brain was on auto pilot at this point, so I said nothing. Usually, this is a good response. Unfortunately, I combined it with a blank stare (NOT GOOD: INTERPRETED FOR SARCASM OR DISDAIN!! ABORT! ABORT!). So my dad says "dont give me a stare. clean up this stuff". and he left to go do stuff. So I cranked the radio and started cleaning. It wasn't bad, after all. Got most of my stuff organized, and so that was alright. Then, I had to put away the new old clothes which got washed. So I did that, learned that my brother used my gawdam razor (egh...), listen to my parents argue for a second, decided NOT to push my luck and tell Dad he was saying basicaly the same thing I did. Then they started agreeing with each other, but still arguing... my family does that alot. So at this point I crept out of the bedrooms (for those of you who don't know, My room, My brother's room, and My parent's room are all right next to each other in the top of a cross at the end of a hallway) vaulted over the trashbag, dodged between the clothesbasket, and hurdled the pile of newspapers to freedom. I swear to God it was like a chores triathalon. Then mom yelled at me to come get the clothesbaksets I passed. I grabbed that thing and threw it in the Laundry room, and now I'm fortified in the office, and I sure as hell am not coming out until 445, when I'm going out to Varghese's.
Just thought I'd share that story with you all. Hope you enjoyed it.