(no subject)

[swimshani5]

So I just got back from a meeting with Malcolm and I want to cry. Not out of sadness or sorrow or happiness, but for some reason I just want to weep. Ok, so I am, they just started. He is such a wonderful man. He made me realize a lot about myself and the industry he has such a great outlook on life. I don't know, I can't explain it but he seemed to really help me out. I have been really stressed lately so that may be why I want to cry, and I've been pretty sick but I don't know. Sometimes I feel so thankful for everything I want to cry but other times I just want to weep out of self pity or something. Oh goodness. Anyways, he's a great guy. I don't even know why I'm writing this, i just sat down and started typing. goodness its like someone else has taken over my body and I don't know the reasons as to why they are making me do these things! I need to sing, I haven't sung in such a long time because of the show and Leslie being out and stuff. Hopefully I'll do that tonight. I think one thing that is taking its toll on me is my scene and monologue. They are so physically demanding and emotionally demanding and its tough to work on them by myself every day. And most of the work is internal work, so that makes it even worse. Tonight I get to work with Jared so hopefully letting everything out will be good. And tomorrow I think I'm presenting my monologue and that will be nice, I love just letting all my emotions out that I've been working on with them. I've changed directions in my monologue and am interested to see how I handle it. It will be nice.
I'm still pretty sick to my stomach these days, don't really know whats going on. hopefully it will get better by this weekend because Caitlin is planning on baking lots of yummy breakfast foods for us after prom woohoo! chocolate chip pancakes, mmmmmmm. And we're going to Lindy's I dont realy know what they have that I'll eat but I'm sure it will be tasty and I can find something. Ok Im gonna go lay down or somethinggggggggg