Nothing Better
Took a day to myself
More to save the wrath of an angry mother screaming when she sees the dent in my bumper than for myself
But it turned out to be for myself
I woke up at 630 rolled into a normal shirt so I wouldn’t get weird looks driving around (no one can see your pants so who cares what I wear below the waist? Brushed my teeth and out the door I went.
At first I had planned on being all responsible and doing research/homework things but I ended up shirking that duty. I thought about my cross country flight plan final, if that counts for anything…
I was driving, and realized that even though I’ve been in san diego for a while now, I still don’t know where anything is. I mean, I didn’t get out that much in general in Livermore, but I knew the city intimately-I could give directions, tell you how to get to every library, tell you where all the parks were and the fastest way to circumvent Stanley or isabell.
But here, I know how to get to work, I can get to two shopping plazas, and I can get to the airport/beach/downtown (which is all they same place). I can get to one library and two parks. Only one of said parks are actually nice, big parks and not just some little hidey-hole, grass area the size of two hummers “common area” park with a play set for the neighborhood. So I parked in the back 40 of the library which overlooks the park and feel surprisingly comfortable. The hill is all eucalyptus and refrigerator trees-the smell and sound fo them is like being home. Sitting from morning til midafternoon is like being home again. I mean really what do you do in the smummer, on the weekends, even just after school?
I would sit in my car and listen to music while I just looked outside. I miss sitting down in the trees. I miss lunches on the old log on boot hill. I miss walking the creek behind school and playing on the tire swing before it got to muddy to climb up and down the slopes. I miss sitting in the car with bruno when there’s nothing else to do and just looking at the park or even biking through sycamore grove.
Nature always makes us feel better…mostly because sun makes us feel better. It’s a fact, simple as that, but I never noticed how holed-up I’ve been for the last year. Even when I went out to study in the lawn etc, I wasn’t just relaxing. I was fretting over grades, tests, projects, money, everything. I never stopped to enjoy the fact that I’m outside.
And now I feel saddened thinking about everything I haven’t been doing that I used to love but a little better for having taken time out for myself, even though that wasn’t the original plan. I wish I had more time to do this…just sit and not worry and fall asleep under a tree or listen to music outside.
I know you all have your own connection to music through orchestra and everything, but I have my own connection. Music helps me sort through things I’m feeling…I’ve always gotten caught up in the emotions of songs because generally the one I get stuck on is something major going on. Like feeling lonely because I’m away from everyone, or missing bruno when I listen to postal service, or even just remembering fun stuff I did with you guys, like greenday I associate with tom and the beatles make me think of wes while beach boys makes me think of Christine and liz
Will someone please call a surgeon
Who can crack these ribs and repair this broken heart
That’s suredeserving
For better company
I can’t accept that it’s over…
Tell me am I right to think there could be nothing better
Than making you my bride and slowly growing old together?
I feel I must interject here, you’re getting carried away feeling sorry for yourself with these revisions and gaps in history
So let me help you remember…
So please walk away and let me go
I can’t my darling I love you so
Oh oh
Tell me am I right to think there could be nothing better than making you my bride and slowly growing old together
Don’t you feed me lies about some idealistic future
Your heart won’t heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures.
I have no idea what deeper philosophical thing I was going to get at when I started writing, so I’ll just end with
I miss you guys.
More to save the wrath of an angry mother screaming when she sees the dent in my bumper than for myself
But it turned out to be for myself
I woke up at 630 rolled into a normal shirt so I wouldn’t get weird looks driving around (no one can see your pants so who cares what I wear below the waist? Brushed my teeth and out the door I went.
At first I had planned on being all responsible and doing research/homework things but I ended up shirking that duty. I thought about my cross country flight plan final, if that counts for anything…
I was driving, and realized that even though I’ve been in san diego for a while now, I still don’t know where anything is. I mean, I didn’t get out that much in general in Livermore, but I knew the city intimately-I could give directions, tell you how to get to every library, tell you where all the parks were and the fastest way to circumvent Stanley or isabell.
But here, I know how to get to work, I can get to two shopping plazas, and I can get to the airport/beach/downtown (which is all they same place). I can get to one library and two parks. Only one of said parks are actually nice, big parks and not just some little hidey-hole, grass area the size of two hummers “common area” park with a play set for the neighborhood. So I parked in the back 40 of the library which overlooks the park and feel surprisingly comfortable. The hill is all eucalyptus and refrigerator trees-the smell and sound fo them is like being home. Sitting from morning til midafternoon is like being home again. I mean really what do you do in the smummer, on the weekends, even just after school?
I would sit in my car and listen to music while I just looked outside. I miss sitting down in the trees. I miss lunches on the old log on boot hill. I miss walking the creek behind school and playing on the tire swing before it got to muddy to climb up and down the slopes. I miss sitting in the car with bruno when there’s nothing else to do and just looking at the park or even biking through sycamore grove.
Nature always makes us feel better…mostly because sun makes us feel better. It’s a fact, simple as that, but I never noticed how holed-up I’ve been for the last year. Even when I went out to study in the lawn etc, I wasn’t just relaxing. I was fretting over grades, tests, projects, money, everything. I never stopped to enjoy the fact that I’m outside.
And now I feel saddened thinking about everything I haven’t been doing that I used to love but a little better for having taken time out for myself, even though that wasn’t the original plan. I wish I had more time to do this…just sit and not worry and fall asleep under a tree or listen to music outside.
I know you all have your own connection to music through orchestra and everything, but I have my own connection. Music helps me sort through things I’m feeling…I’ve always gotten caught up in the emotions of songs because generally the one I get stuck on is something major going on. Like feeling lonely because I’m away from everyone, or missing bruno when I listen to postal service, or even just remembering fun stuff I did with you guys, like greenday I associate with tom and the beatles make me think of wes while beach boys makes me think of Christine and liz
Will someone please call a surgeon
Who can crack these ribs and repair this broken heart
That’s suredeserving
For better company
I can’t accept that it’s over…
Tell me am I right to think there could be nothing better
Than making you my bride and slowly growing old together?
I feel I must interject here, you’re getting carried away feeling sorry for yourself with these revisions and gaps in history
So let me help you remember…
So please walk away and let me go
I can’t my darling I love you so
Oh oh
Tell me am I right to think there could be nothing better than making you my bride and slowly growing old together
Don’t you feed me lies about some idealistic future
Your heart won’t heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures.
I have no idea what deeper philosophical thing I was going to get at when I started writing, so I’ll just end with
I miss you guys.