sighhhh
its been quite a while since i've written anything on this.
so... there are 30something days left of summer, and then we will start our senior year. scary? yes. in many ways. but at the same time... its going to be a good year i think. so lets hope for the best.
for some reason, i like random, somewhat abstract posts much better than any account of what i've actually been doing lately. but my abstract posts are not nearly as poetic and flowy as some of my friends' are, unfortunately.
today, after coming home from work early due to a nasty incident with a pool filter (i like that, it kind of sounds like i got into a fight with the filter pump or something. while that is not the case, that would be quite interesting ), i spent the day sifting through memories, mementos, pictures, junk, pieces of paper i can't remember why i've kept, and the like. i feel bad throwing these things away sometime... i know that a long time ago, when i decided to keep it for some reason, it was important to me. but now i can't identify with that, so it has to go.
this reminds me of Fight Club, when marla talks about disregarded things, like the dress from the thrift shop, or christmas trees thrown out after new years, or the dog that, once it leaves its puppy stage, is no longer wanted by its family. my stuff, once loved by a little girl, is no longer of any importance to the caitlin that has been influenced (corrupted, if you will) by the world that says she has to grow up and leave those things, those days, and the memory of that behind.
life is sad sometimes. but at the same time, its all about the process of moving on... from caterpillars to butterflies. its just unfortunate that sometimes, despite the excitement & good things of growing up... that metamorphosis can hurt.
(re-reading this, its drastically different from any of my xanga entries... which is odd. if you'd care to read them, its http://www.xanga.com/swimmincowgirl)
so... there are 30something days left of summer, and then we will start our senior year. scary? yes. in many ways. but at the same time... its going to be a good year i think. so lets hope for the best.
for some reason, i like random, somewhat abstract posts much better than any account of what i've actually been doing lately. but my abstract posts are not nearly as poetic and flowy as some of my friends' are, unfortunately.
today, after coming home from work early due to a nasty incident with a pool filter (i like that, it kind of sounds like i got into a fight with the filter pump or something. while that is not the case, that would be quite interesting ), i spent the day sifting through memories, mementos, pictures, junk, pieces of paper i can't remember why i've kept, and the like. i feel bad throwing these things away sometime... i know that a long time ago, when i decided to keep it for some reason, it was important to me. but now i can't identify with that, so it has to go.
this reminds me of Fight Club, when marla talks about disregarded things, like the dress from the thrift shop, or christmas trees thrown out after new years, or the dog that, once it leaves its puppy stage, is no longer wanted by its family. my stuff, once loved by a little girl, is no longer of any importance to the caitlin that has been influenced (corrupted, if you will) by the world that says she has to grow up and leave those things, those days, and the memory of that behind.
life is sad sometimes. but at the same time, its all about the process of moving on... from caterpillars to butterflies. its just unfortunate that sometimes, despite the excitement & good things of growing up... that metamorphosis can hurt.
(re-reading this, its drastically different from any of my xanga entries... which is odd. if you'd care to read them, its http://www.xanga.com/swimmincowgirl)