Great Expectations
Failure is the result of unattained expectations. There are various conventional standards to define the term “failure,” like sixty-four and below on a test and you’re considered a failure; one point more and you’re on the winning side. Your team not ending up with the highest score at the end of a game, match, or tournament, is deemed a failure. But can it really be so simple?
The problem with failure is that its definition is, in actuality, completely relative to the circumstances preceding it. If we looked at a sixty four percent on the test as “Hey, I got more than half of that material down-pat,” maybe it wouldn’t be as frowned upon. Sixty-four percent could probably get a drug to the market and sixty-four percent is quite a haul in the political realm so there are obvious discrepancies for failure.
To fix failure, it is necessary to look primarily at the expectations that accompany it. Could it be that we aren’t failing at as many things as we believe, but rather that we simply put our expectations too high? I’m no advocate of complacency and low-standards - surely those are not the motivators or any better for the psyche; one doesn’t achieve great self-esteem by writing their name over and over as they would feel after completing an entire essay or book. But there are certain instances in which maybe we drive ourselves insane simply because we expected too much. In other words, we set ourselves up for failure by seeking the unattainable.
As I looked back at every instance in which I considered myself a failure, it wasn’t that I failed by societal standards or anyone’s really - except my own. I felt like failure after learning I was number two in the class and not number one but now that whole concept just seems incredibly remote. Number two is still 331 kids I’m ahead of and on a less comparative note, does anything about high school really matter after the acceptance letters roll in? I also felt like failure this year when I got the rejection letters and was wait-listed at Dartmouth but then I realized I had done what I always did when shopping - I didn’t look for comfort or even the right fit necessarily; I just shopped for the brand-names. So perhaps if I had set reasonable standards in originating my college-search process, I wouldn’t have ended up so needlessly frustrated. And finally, I realized I sometimes become so wracked by my relationships because I expect perfection but instead get stuck with the unfortunate mishap of reality.
Failure to achieve a reasonable goal that makes you work hard or even push yourself past what you thought to be your utmost is one thing - a most incredible thing, for sure. But trying to achieve perfection in life is, as I’ve learned the hard way in many more instances than those I’ve listed here, not only impossible, it’s stupid. It’s time we strive for our own best and not necessarily the image of perfection.
The problem with failure is that its definition is, in actuality, completely relative to the circumstances preceding it. If we looked at a sixty four percent on the test as “Hey, I got more than half of that material down-pat,” maybe it wouldn’t be as frowned upon. Sixty-four percent could probably get a drug to the market and sixty-four percent is quite a haul in the political realm so there are obvious discrepancies for failure.
To fix failure, it is necessary to look primarily at the expectations that accompany it. Could it be that we aren’t failing at as many things as we believe, but rather that we simply put our expectations too high? I’m no advocate of complacency and low-standards - surely those are not the motivators or any better for the psyche; one doesn’t achieve great self-esteem by writing their name over and over as they would feel after completing an entire essay or book. But there are certain instances in which maybe we drive ourselves insane simply because we expected too much. In other words, we set ourselves up for failure by seeking the unattainable.
As I looked back at every instance in which I considered myself a failure, it wasn’t that I failed by societal standards or anyone’s really - except my own. I felt like failure after learning I was number two in the class and not number one but now that whole concept just seems incredibly remote. Number two is still 331 kids I’m ahead of and on a less comparative note, does anything about high school really matter after the acceptance letters roll in? I also felt like failure this year when I got the rejection letters and was wait-listed at Dartmouth but then I realized I had done what I always did when shopping - I didn’t look for comfort or even the right fit necessarily; I just shopped for the brand-names. So perhaps if I had set reasonable standards in originating my college-search process, I wouldn’t have ended up so needlessly frustrated. And finally, I realized I sometimes become so wracked by my relationships because I expect perfection but instead get stuck with the unfortunate mishap of reality.
Failure to achieve a reasonable goal that makes you work hard or even push yourself past what you thought to be your utmost is one thing - a most incredible thing, for sure. But trying to achieve perfection in life is, as I’ve learned the hard way in many more instances than those I’ve listed here, not only impossible, it’s stupid. It’s time we strive for our own best and not necessarily the image of perfection.