and all that you can, all that you can give is a cold goodbye

[swimerinswim]

so i finally talked to my "friend" ben (....second ben). he successfully avoided me for a week and a half, that jerk. finally, we were at the swim team christmas party, i was in my extremely short dress (so short my friends are still debating as to whether it's actually a shirt), and in a festive mood. after a few spiked hot chocolates and cran and vods (haha oops my friend melissa and i were the only two drunks at the xmas party), i got up the courage to talk to him. i was standing talking to a few friends when he went into the fridge for something. as he stood up, i turned to look at him. our eyes locked, it was too late for him to turn and walk away. i greeted him with a "hello, friend." and we proceeded to have a relatively normal conversation. he asked how i was doing and bent in to listen to my response. i think he could tell i was a little drunk, since he asked what i was drinking. hmm. oh well.

i feel like new years will be interesting... i don't know if i should try for him or not. i mean, we are just friends, and that's what we were. it's probably what we'll always be. there's no reason why we couldn't just makeout for the night......... but i have a few in mind as far as fallbacks go, just in case. teehee. i don't want to jinx it though, by thinking too much about it. we'll just have to see what happens.

anyhow, i'm going shopping in the city tomorrow for a fabulous dress. boy or no boy, new years will be fabulous.