tHe ViEw I lOvE tHe MoSt..
Mkkkay, How about an actual update.
It's been awhile.
The past few months have been really shitty.
Like a living hell to be honest,
and Im getting really sick of it,
i can't stand the pain any more,
mentally im drained.. and i hate it.
i havent been able to focus in like 2 weeks,
i sit in class and just think about other
shit until im called on or it gets really silent
then i somehow snap out of my daze and attempt to
do something, its getting bad. when i drive its the
same thing, and its starting to scare me, i was never
like this before and its like i dont know how to
make myself focus on anything anymore. when people
are talking to me directly, half of the time i dont
have any idea what they are saying to me. if you're
one of those people where it seems like im blowing you
off or something, im not, i just cant focus. =/
also, lately i have been sleeping alot. i come home
from school, fall asleep and then wake up, do whatever
i need to do, then quickly fall asleep again, its weird,
i never sleep this much. i never eat either, ive always
never eaten breakfast, but i used to always eat lunch and
dinner, now i never even bother to pack a lunch because im
never hungry and i dont often eat dinner, its weird. =/
ive noticed that i havent been actually happy in qutie
some time, and its starting to worry me. i force myself
to fake a smile, and its getting hard to even do that.
to be honest, i think i need some sort of help to
deal with everything. but i hate talking about my feelings
to people, i cant open up to anyone,i dislike that
about myself, but hey what is there i can do about it?
things are getting harder and harder. it used to be that i'd
have a few good things happen to me, then a tragic thing came
along, then a few more good ones. but not anymore. its been
bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad ,bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad..
for the past 3 months i think now. its so annoying. i dont
even want to answer my cell phone anymore because its just
shitty news over and over again. Errrrrr.. it angers me.
and no, this isnt a fucking plea for attention, if you dont talk
to me now, and you're reading this feeling sorry or think its
all a joke or a lie, then dont talk to me anyways, odds are
i dont even like you, okay? thanks.
i just want to be happy again.... :[
thats all.
It's been awhile.
The past few months have been really shitty.
Like a living hell to be honest,
and Im getting really sick of it,
i can't stand the pain any more,
mentally im drained.. and i hate it.
i havent been able to focus in like 2 weeks,
i sit in class and just think about other
shit until im called on or it gets really silent
then i somehow snap out of my daze and attempt to
do something, its getting bad. when i drive its the
same thing, and its starting to scare me, i was never
like this before and its like i dont know how to
make myself focus on anything anymore. when people
are talking to me directly, half of the time i dont
have any idea what they are saying to me. if you're
one of those people where it seems like im blowing you
off or something, im not, i just cant focus. =/
also, lately i have been sleeping alot. i come home
from school, fall asleep and then wake up, do whatever
i need to do, then quickly fall asleep again, its weird,
i never sleep this much. i never eat either, ive always
never eaten breakfast, but i used to always eat lunch and
dinner, now i never even bother to pack a lunch because im
never hungry and i dont often eat dinner, its weird. =/
ive noticed that i havent been actually happy in qutie
some time, and its starting to worry me. i force myself
to fake a smile, and its getting hard to even do that.
to be honest, i think i need some sort of help to
deal with everything. but i hate talking about my feelings
to people, i cant open up to anyone,i dislike that
about myself, but hey what is there i can do about it?
things are getting harder and harder. it used to be that i'd
have a few good things happen to me, then a tragic thing came
along, then a few more good ones. but not anymore. its been
bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad ,bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad..
for the past 3 months i think now. its so annoying. i dont
even want to answer my cell phone anymore because its just
shitty news over and over again. Errrrrr.. it angers me.
and no, this isnt a fucking plea for attention, if you dont talk
to me now, and you're reading this feeling sorry or think its
all a joke or a lie, then dont talk to me anyways, odds are
i dont even like you, okay? thanks.
i just want to be happy again.... :[
thats all.