(no subject)
The days have been pretty crazy lately. Ive been reading a lot. Finished 2 chapter books in a week. They were actually really good. Now im just living off of the feelings you get from reading the last line of a story. The wonder...the excitment...the amaziment. The angryness because they left you hanging.
Yesterday I watched the notebook again..that movie still makes me cry.
Lately ive been pretty drained, worn out, exhausted. Ive been on so much medication and im so drugged up. Its like nothing matters to me anymore..i dont give a care in the world about what anyone says. I actually stuck up for myself yesterday at lunch. This girl was trying to start sh*t so I stood up for myself. She acutally wanted to fight me and said that i was chicken for not doing it. To me that kinda stuff isnt worth it. She wasnt worth it...what do you get out of trying to make someone feel bad? Happiness? If thats the truth then it can only drive you mad. Its not true happiness, its an addiction. Your addicted to making everyone feel bad to feel happy about yourself. Its wrong... But i guess people are people and they will do everything in their willpower to succeed, even if it means hurting someone. Affecting their lives by knocking them down. What happeneds when they can't get up anymore? When youve knocked them totally down to the ground and theres nothing left. Are you going to keep bugging them. Keep knocking them down. There soon becomes a point in time where that person is so low that they will always stay low. And they have you to thank. They dont give a care in the world and why should you to. Your life is pointless if you retrieve happiness by lets say A. Leaving nasty comments in a lj or B. Saying that someone is a bitch or a whore. You don't know what they went through or what they are going through. Their past, their present. You dont know what drove them to become who they are today. Its not their fault..and by critizing them by their mistakes only makes you seem like the lower person. The person who lingers on the faults of someone else and never sees the faults of his/her own. So yeah, thats my feelings on that. Say what you want.
What else, oh yesterday after school, i had to finished up a test so i didnt have a ride home. So i walked in the rain. Everything left me, the anger, the adrenline rush. The rain was relieveing everything. My pain, my problems. And that brings me into the future. Im going to accomplish my goals and not worry about the drama that high school brings you. That doesnt matter... not to me anymore. Im done with that sh*t. Go ahead and talk...see if I care. Oh yeah and mike stopped by yesterday. It was ok i guess. But yeah, its still the same old sh*t. The same people...the same words. (b*tch, whore, slut) all that stuff. But w/e im done. what a day this is going to be <333 Jackie
Yesterday I watched the notebook again..that movie still makes me cry.
Lately ive been pretty drained, worn out, exhausted. Ive been on so much medication and im so drugged up. Its like nothing matters to me anymore..i dont give a care in the world about what anyone says. I actually stuck up for myself yesterday at lunch. This girl was trying to start sh*t so I stood up for myself. She acutally wanted to fight me and said that i was chicken for not doing it. To me that kinda stuff isnt worth it. She wasnt worth it...what do you get out of trying to make someone feel bad? Happiness? If thats the truth then it can only drive you mad. Its not true happiness, its an addiction. Your addicted to making everyone feel bad to feel happy about yourself. Its wrong... But i guess people are people and they will do everything in their willpower to succeed, even if it means hurting someone. Affecting their lives by knocking them down. What happeneds when they can't get up anymore? When youve knocked them totally down to the ground and theres nothing left. Are you going to keep bugging them. Keep knocking them down. There soon becomes a point in time where that person is so low that they will always stay low. And they have you to thank. They dont give a care in the world and why should you to. Your life is pointless if you retrieve happiness by lets say A. Leaving nasty comments in a lj or B. Saying that someone is a bitch or a whore. You don't know what they went through or what they are going through. Their past, their present. You dont know what drove them to become who they are today. Its not their fault..and by critizing them by their mistakes only makes you seem like the lower person. The person who lingers on the faults of someone else and never sees the faults of his/her own. So yeah, thats my feelings on that. Say what you want.
What else, oh yesterday after school, i had to finished up a test so i didnt have a ride home. So i walked in the rain. Everything left me, the anger, the adrenline rush. The rain was relieveing everything. My pain, my problems. And that brings me into the future. Im going to accomplish my goals and not worry about the drama that high school brings you. That doesnt matter... not to me anymore. Im done with that sh*t. Go ahead and talk...see if I care. Oh yeah and mike stopped by yesterday. It was ok i guess. But yeah, its still the same old sh*t. The same people...the same words. (b*tch, whore, slut) all that stuff. But w/e im done. what a day this is going to be <333 Jackie