contemplativeness... is that a word?
damn if I didn't get into a contemplative mood. about what I don't know. It's just that I want to sit and think about something until my brain exhausts that subject and then moves on to the next. It doesn't even have to be a terribly deep subject.
Right now I'm puzzling the ends and outs of my new book, The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty. (which incidentaly, made me try to rape tony... if that gives you ANY idea what kind of book it is) Yeah I know. Bad me.
Actually, I'm puzzling about the legend of sleeping beauty in general. I guess it just never occured to me that the basis of the story was SEXUAL awakening. Kind of deep for a story that my five year old soon to be niece knows by heart. I guess it makes sense... in a wierd pedophileish kind of way.
On to contemplating other things. Tony's Gramma in Indiana isn't doing to hot. In fact a few weeks ago Tony said that we'd probably spend Xmas up there next year because she probably won't be around much longer. After thinking about this, I started thinking about MY relatives. A lot of my family is up in years, and I really want them to be able to come to my wedding and I know that tony wants his gramma too. So I did the unthinkable and asked if maybe we could move up the date to this fall. He said he'd think about it.
So, am I justified in doing this? Is it just a way for me to get married sooner or do I genuinely care about them getting to come to the wedding? I'm puzzled. I think it's both. I really REALLY want to get married. I don't think ANYone realizes exactly how much, but I also do want everyone to be able to come. BUT there's also the facts of both of our families. Although I want to get married, I KNOW there will be tension there because our families are so different. To tell the truth, right now I could care less. I just want to get married and have everyone there. I'll deal with the drama when it happens... actually I won't, because I'm the bride and I shouldn't have to deal with shit except being happy on my wedding day. I think maybe I'm just selfish. The back of my mind keeps lying to me and saying that tony is one day just going to lose interest. Damn my insecurity problems. But being married would help a lot. But I don't want to force the boy to get married. I know he wants to wait until we've saved some $ and all that... and it makes sense. But I'm a GIRL DAMMIT! I don't have to make sense all the time and I just want to get married.
Oh well. regardless of his descision, at least I got all of that crap out.
Hope you guys liked your christmas presents.
Later
Kathryn Leigh
Right now I'm puzzling the ends and outs of my new book, The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty. (which incidentaly, made me try to rape tony... if that gives you ANY idea what kind of book it is) Yeah I know. Bad me.
Actually, I'm puzzling about the legend of sleeping beauty in general. I guess it just never occured to me that the basis of the story was SEXUAL awakening. Kind of deep for a story that my five year old soon to be niece knows by heart. I guess it makes sense... in a wierd pedophileish kind of way.
On to contemplating other things. Tony's Gramma in Indiana isn't doing to hot. In fact a few weeks ago Tony said that we'd probably spend Xmas up there next year because she probably won't be around much longer. After thinking about this, I started thinking about MY relatives. A lot of my family is up in years, and I really want them to be able to come to my wedding and I know that tony wants his gramma too. So I did the unthinkable and asked if maybe we could move up the date to this fall. He said he'd think about it.
So, am I justified in doing this? Is it just a way for me to get married sooner or do I genuinely care about them getting to come to the wedding? I'm puzzled. I think it's both. I really REALLY want to get married. I don't think ANYone realizes exactly how much, but I also do want everyone to be able to come. BUT there's also the facts of both of our families. Although I want to get married, I KNOW there will be tension there because our families are so different. To tell the truth, right now I could care less. I just want to get married and have everyone there. I'll deal with the drama when it happens... actually I won't, because I'm the bride and I shouldn't have to deal with shit except being happy on my wedding day. I think maybe I'm just selfish. The back of my mind keeps lying to me and saying that tony is one day just going to lose interest. Damn my insecurity problems. But being married would help a lot. But I don't want to force the boy to get married. I know he wants to wait until we've saved some $ and all that... and it makes sense. But I'm a GIRL DAMMIT! I don't have to make sense all the time and I just want to get married.
Oh well. regardless of his descision, at least I got all of that crap out.
Hope you guys liked your christmas presents.
Later
Kathryn Leigh